


The Name of the Game

by Devils_Official



Series: I Have A Dream [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Culture, Except they’re not friends, Face-Sitting, First Aid, Friends With Benefits, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Near-death Experiences, Size Difference, Slow Burn, Soft Lodak, Soft Space Husband Antics, Sparring as Flirting, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Zarkon’s A+ Parenting, fwb to lovers, it’s lotor ok are you really surprised, poorly timed love confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-06-28 02:33:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 32
Words: 46,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15698334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Devils_Official/pseuds/Devils_Official
Summary: In which Sendak follows Lotor into exile.Why? Sendak wished he knew.





	1. That’s Treason

**Author's Note:**

> Some important things:  
> \- This takes place roughly 28 years after the destruction of Daibazaal, making (for the purposes of this fic) Lotor 27 And Sendak 22.  
> -Sendak’s parents died during the siege and subsequent destruction of Altea.  
> -Lotor does not know he’s half-Altean yet.  
> -Sendak starts this fic with both of his original arms and eyes.  
> \- Yes, the title does come from the ABBA song of the same name

“You have until the morning to leave Central Command. Now, get out of my sight.”

Lotor held his head up high, his shoulders square and his jaw set. 

From where Sendak was standing, he could not see the blood that still dripped down Lotor’s back, but he could smell it.

Most had to be helped to their feet after a whipping like that, escorted away and given medical attention. And most had scales or thick fur to take the brunt of the blows. 

Lotor did not; he was just a little, skinny thing, dwarfed by nearly everyone present. 

And yet his back was straight, and he looked the Emperor in the eye as no one else dared to, like he wasn’t even a little bit afraid. 

Like he hadn’t just been whipped and sent into exile after witnessing the destruction of the colony he’d overseen. 

Without another word, Lotor left, stalking out of the throne room with no expression on his face. 

Zarkon dismissed everyone shortly after, and Sendak immediately went to Lotor’s quarters.

They weren’t friends. Lotor was nearly five years older, but -due to circumstances no one had bothered to explain to Sendak -he hadn’t started his martial training until just a few years ago, putting him far behind his peers, who had been training to fight since they were toddlers. 

Sendak was the best of his cohort, and that was why he’d been tasked with training Lotor, despite their age difference. 

Secretly, Sendak liked training Lotor. He was sharp, a fast learner, smart. He never made the same mistake twice. 

Lotor not-so-secretly disliked the sessions, half-convinced that the Emperor was using Sendak to spy on him. But he accepted them; half-breed or not, all Galra had to learn to fight, because they might be called upon to do so at any time. 

He requested entry to Lotor’s rooms. 

There was no response for such a long time that Sendak considered giving up, but finally the door slid open. 

Sendak took a few steps in, and the door slid shut behind him.

He didn’t see Lotor at first, but then he emerged from behind one of the other doors.

He stopped in surprise upon seeing Sendak, and then immediately turned to his most well-used weapon: bitterness. “Come to gloat? You have all you ever wanted now, don’t you? Me out of the way so that you can have all of Daddy’s attention to yourself?”

Lotor’s suit had been hastily pulled up and remained unfastened in the back. Not surprising; those lash-marks had to hurt. He surreptitiously wiped his eyes when he thought Sendak wasn’t looking. 

“I want to go with you,” Sendak said, and until that moment, he wasn’t even sure why he’d bothered to come here. But it was true; he did want to go with Lotor. 

Lotor laughed in disbelief. “So my father can continue to spy on me from afar? No, I think not. Tell him that if he wanted to keep an eye on me, he should have kept me here.” 

Lotor turned away, going back to his sleeping chamber. Presumably to continue packing. 

Sendak followed him. “Your father didn’t send me,” he said, as earnestly as he could. 

“You’re still loyal to him.”

“I wouldn’t have to be,” Sendak said in a rush. 

Lotor glanced around, as if he expected someone to be listening. “That’s treason.”

It was. It was, and Lotor could…what? Turn him over to Zarkon as a traitor? It would be his word against Sendak’s, and they both knew who Zarkon was more likely to believe. 

Lotor shoved more of his belongings into a bag. “Come with me, then. Or don’t. I don’t care. But I’m leaving just before the first shift starts, and if you’re not there, I’ll leave without you.”

“I’ll be there,” Sendak promised. 

Lotor turned his back to Sendak, and Sendak had to bite back his shock.

He’d expected Lotor to receive some sort of medical treatment -some of those lash-marks were deep, scoring skin nearly to the bone -but he hadn’t; the wounds were still raw and uncovered. 

“Why are you still here? Shouldn’t you be packing or something?” Lotor said, irritated. 

Sendak knew Lotor’s moods, at least. When you trained with someone everyday for three years, you learned how to read them, even if that had ended over a year ago. 

“You’re hurt.”

“I hadn’t noticed,” Lotor said sarcastically. 

“I should summon a medical officer.”

“No,” Lotor said sharply. “Don’t summon an officer. Don’t you dare.”

Was Lotor... _ afraid _ ? Sendak couldn’t remember Lotor ever being afraid. Proud, arrogant, irritable, vitriolic, but never  _ afraid _ . 

“Let me help you, then,” Sendak said, quieter. He did have some rudimentary first aid skills. 

Lotor finally nodded. “There should be supplies in the bathroom,” he said, before sitting on the bed. 

Sendak fetched them and sat behind Lotor.

“You’re giving up everything,” Lotor said, quietly, still not looking at him. “Your rank, your future, my father’s commendations. They will call you a traitor for this. They will say it dishonors the memory of your parents. Perhaps your name will be struck from the records, forgotten by all who come after. So why?” 

It was a good question. One Sendak wished he had an answer for. He started to clean Lotor’s back very gently, although he realized that Lotor was going to have to strip to the waist. “Could you-?”

Lotor pulled his suit back down, so that it was bunched around his waist. 

Sendak continued washing away the blood. There wasn’t really that much; it just looked like a lot. A few of the deeper lash-marks still oozed blood, but otherwise, the bleeding seemed to have stopped. 

For now, assuming Lotor didn’t do something to open it back up. 

“I...admire you,” Sendak said finally, about halfway through cleaning out the marks. “You’re...strong. Tough. Proud. Smart.”

“If I were smart,” Lotor said, “I would have found a way out of this. Or just done as he wanted.” He was trembling, Sendak realized. He tried to hold himself still, but he couldn’t quite managed it.

And then his shoulders started shaking. “They’re dead. They’re all dead, Sendak, just like that. And it’s all my fault. If I had just-“ 

_ Oh _ , he was  _ crying _ . Outright sobbing now.

Sendak didn’t know what to say. Lotor was correct; Zarkon would not have had the planet destroyed if Lotor had followed Imperial Protocol in its occupation. On the other hand, the planet likely would have been dead in a century anyway, what with the Druids draining out every drop of quintessence from it that they could. 

“It’s- The planet would have been destroyed anyway,” Sendak said eventually. 

“They trusted me,” Lotor whispered. “I got to know them, and I promised that they would be safe, and they  _ trusted _ me.”

“You couldn’t have known,” Sendak said. “You couldn’t have known.”

“I should have,” Lotor said. “I can see, if no one else can, what my father is becoming. I should have known.”

“But what could you have done?” 

Lotor buried his face in his hands. “I don’t know. But  _ something- _ I could have done  _ something _ .” 

“I’m going to apply antibiotic cream now,” Sendak said. “It might sting.” 

It did sting, from the way Lotor hissed as Sendak carefully applied it. 

Lotor allowed Sendak to wrap his torso in bandages from shoulder to hip without much fuss. It wasn’t ideal, but they would be leaving too soon for bed rest to be a real option. 

“You should take something for the pain,” Sendak said. 

Lotor shook his head. “I’ll be fine.” Quieter, he repeated, almost to himself, “I will be fine.” 

Sendak stood, and, abruptly, realized how...intimate this had become.Them, alone, in Lotor’s sleeping chambers? It wasn’t something he liked to think about, though he did, sometimes, very late at night, and he knew he shouldn’t- 

“Before first shift, then,” he said. “Your Highness.”

“Don’t call me that,” Lotor said softly as Sendak was leaving. 


	2. More Than That

Lotor almost didn’t expect Sendak to show up, especially after he’d enumerated all the things he’d lose by coming with. And Lotor really didn’t have anything to offer him. 

He hadn’t planned for this; his father had sprung it on him too suddenly, giving him no time to prepare, keeping him off-balance. 

Which, he supposed, was the idea. 

But Sendak did show up, and that presented a problem. 

Lotor wasn’t sure he could trust Sendak. (In fact, he trusted only one person, and she had been banished from Central Command over a decade ago.) He only had Sendak’s word that he wasn’t a spy. 

Then again, Sendak would be the most obvious spy his father could send. Lotor had never made his...ambivalence of Sendak a secret. He tolerated him, but they weren’t close, and they weren’t friends or anything else. 

Lotor probably could have reasoned this out a little better, but it was difficult, as he was hungover. Drinking last night had not been a good idea, but. 

It had all hurt so damn much, and he just wanted to forget, just for a few minutes. 

Sendak looked significantly more well-rested that Lotor felt, and he took one look at Lotor before saying, “I’ll pilot the ship.” 

“I can fly,” Lotor insisted. 

“You should be resting,” Sendak said. 

And Lotor really did want to go back to sleep. 

Something butted up against his leg, and he looked down. “Kova? Are you coming, too?”

The cat chirped. Lotor picked him up. “Fine. I’ve already entered the coordinates. If you’re sure. There’s no going back now.”

Sendak nodded. “If I wasn’t sure, I wouldn’t have come.” 

Lotor stalked to the back of the ship, where the private quarters were. This was his ship, a gift from his father (of course), and he’d made use of it to escape sometimes; he’d already claimed the largest room as his. 

He set Kova down and made his way over to the bed, striping out of his suit. He could handle the pain, but it was still...uncomfortable. 

He laid down on his side -which was how he usually slept, anyway -and Kova hopped up next to him and began purring. The sound soothed...everything, really. Some of his first memories were of Kova, sneaking into the medical unit after some surgery or other and purring to him.

Lotor fell asleep shortly after the ship launched, lulled to sleep by Kova and the engine’s hum. 

* * *

He woke later to the sound of the door chime.

Right. Sendak, of course. He debated ignoring it, but he was stuck with Sendak for...who knew how long. They’d have to talk eventually. Might as well be now; at least his hangover was mostly gone. 

He staggered upright; it had taken all night and all morning for the full pain of the lashing to catch up to him, but now it had. He clawed at the wall with one hand to keep himself standing. It burned, a lancing, tearing pain that took his breath away.

When his breathing had evened out again, he pushed away from the wall and strode to the door. He could not allow Sendak to see him weak. Everyone thought he was weak to begin with, with his stature and tainted blood; he wouldn’t prove them right. 

“What?” He asked, gruffly, because he was in no mood to be charitable. Why couldn’t Sendak have just let him slink away with his tail between his legs? Why did it have to be Sendak who witnessed him like this? 

“I thought it might be time to change your bandages,” Sendak said neutrally. “We’ll be at your destination in a couple of hours.”

“And then?” He had to hold himself upright against the door frame, but he tried to make it look as casual as possible. 

Sendak shrugged. “Then I suppose you’ll have ample time to plan your next move while you recover.”

“And what will you do? Are you content to play nursemaid to me? What would your parents think?” Lotor knew that was a low blow, but he couldn’t quite help himself. He was, perhaps, at his lowest, and maybe it would be less lonely if he dragged Sendak down with him. 

Sendak didn’t react, other than a slight frown and a single flick of one ear. “You must have ambitions, your highness.”

“Ambitions?” Lotor asked. “And what might a filthy half-breed like me try to accomplish?” He’d always been bitter, so bitter his governess used to tell him that no one would ever try to take more than one bite of him. That wasn’t true. That had never been true. 

“You’re more than that,” Sendak replied. 

More than that? No. Hardly. No one ever let him be more than that. One look told them everything they needed to know. “No,” he said. “I’m not.”

He wasn’t looking for Sendak’s pity, but he got it, which was… Startling. “You are,” he insisted, softly, firmly. “You’re the only one who’s been able to challenge me on the training deck in a year. You’re strong, you’re smart, you’re brave. If you let other people in, they’d see the same things I do.”

Lotor turned away. “I don’t want to hear your lies. I’m not in the mood.”

Sendak grabbed his wrist, which had Lotor unsheathing his claws in surprise. “I wasn’t lying.” 

Lotor took his wrist back. There was a rawness to Sendak’s words, and if he looked, he was sure the same rawness would be reflected in his eyes. But he didn’t look; he couldn’t have handled that. “You wanted to change the bandages,” he said.

There was a moment of silence. “I did.”

Lotor led Sendak back into his quarters. “The bathroom is through there,” he said with a nod. 

Sendak fetched the supplies silently.

“Were we pursued?” Lotor asked, his back to Sendak. It was easier to talk like this, when Sendak couldn’t see his face. 

“For about an hour after we left Central Command. An escort, I suppose.” He began unwrapping the bandages; Lotor hissed when they pulled at the scabs. “It’s probably a good thing they didn’t give you the full fifty lashes,” he said. 

“I could have taken it,” Lotor insisted. If it had earned him respect, or his father’s praise, or anything like that, he could have taken anything. 

“I’m amazed you can walk,” Sendak said. “I’ve seen cadets laid out for weeks, and some of them had scales.”

“If I show a moment of weakness, I prove everyone right,” Lotor said quietly. “You know what they say about me.”

Sendak probably knew better than he did, in fact. The barracks were full of rumors and gossip. 

“It’s just us,” Sendak said. “And the cat. You don’t- I mean- You can just be yourself, here. You don’t have to prove yourself to me.”

“Kova,” Lotor said. “He was my mother’s.” He ignored the rest of Sendak’s statement. 

“I think you’ll be alright ,” Sendak said, “as long as the wounds don’t get infected. If they do, I’m not sure I’ll be able to do anything.”

“I’ll be fine,” Lotor said. His immune system could probably fight off any infection. It was the one health problem he hadn’t had as a child. 

“Right. You should probably restrict your activities as much as possible until they close all the way, so they don’t open back up.” 

Lotor hummed noncommittally. He’d do whatever he had to do. 

“What do you plan to do now?” Sendak asked, finally beginning to wrap new bandages around his torso.

“I wasn’t given much time to plan,” Lotor replied.

“You have time now. You should think about it.”

“And what will you do?” Lotor asked again. 

“Whatever you need me to do.” 


	3. An Actual Answer (?)

Lotor’s ship was fairly small. Certainly nowhere near as large as Central Command. But it was well-supplied, and spacious enough that Sendak probably wouldn’t go stir-crazy. 

There was a second bedroom, a training deck, storage, a kitchen, rooms Sendak couldn’t access, plus the cockpit. Livable, certainly, if need be. 

There were probably worse people to be stuck out in space with. 

The charts didn’t show anything for the coordinates Lotor had set, but Sendak wasn’t going to complain. Lotor would probably only ask again why he was here, and then Sendak would have to admit that he still didn’t really know. 

The programming for the training deck was really good, and he spent the rest of trip there, trying not to think about...this situation, as a whole.

Lotor was right. He’d given up  _ everything _ , and for what? In a few years, he probably would have been serving as a Lieutenant somewhere, and then some time later, he’d get promoted to Commander, and have his own ship -or even a fleet -under his command. Zarkon might have made him Heir Presumptive, with Lotor gone, and when they found the Voltron Lions, he might have been given a chance at one. 

Instead… It hadn’t been an impulsive decision, exactly; it felt more like an inevitable one. He still didn’t know why. Why had he given up everything in order to just...languish at the far edges of the Empire, with no glory or honor or future? All the admiration in the universe wouldn’t make up for that. 

He could, maybe, blame his peak. It was due to start soon, and it would only  be his third, and the hormonal shifts were much stronger this soon after reaching sexual maturity. 

Lotor was not conventionally attractive, for a Galra. And if it was just sex Sendak was after, then he probably should have stayed at Central Command. He was, after all, growing nicely into his features, and he got all the sex he could possibly want. He didn’t have to go to any great lengths for it.

Certainly not lengths as great as this. 

So  _ why _ ? 

“We’re here,” Lotor said from the doorway, causing Sendak to jump, slightly. He tried to disguise it. 

“Where is here?” Sendak asked.

“It’s an abandoned Altean research facility. Not too many people know about it anymore, so we should be safe here. As long as we weren’t followed.” Lotor led the way back to the cockpit and initiated the docking sequence. Then he scanned the facility for life signs; there were none. 

“We weren’t followed,” Sendak said, crossing his arms. “Not all the way here.”

“It doesn’t hurt to be cautious.” 

This close -and Sendak was suddenly aware of just how close he was to Lotor -he could smell the faint scent of soap on him, like he’d just taken a shower. Which he probably should not have; it would only get the bandages wet. “You know you’re not supposed to get bandages wet, right?”

“What are you, my nanny?” Lotor scoffed. “Of course I know. I washed my face.” 

“Does this base even have power?”

“If not, I’m sure I could restore it,” Lotor said. “Give me something to do while I recover.” 

* * *

Sendak could admit that the abandoned facility was rather creepy. It was quite large, for one thing, and three living things did not make it any less empty. 

Lotor seemed unbothered, but it was hard to say for sure. 

The hull had retained its integrity- according to Lotor, it had been abandoned sometime well before the war -and it didn’t take long for Lotor to get the generators back.

“I think,” he said thoughtfully, looking around the bridge, “that they meant to come back. Everything’s in good working order, like it had been shut down purposefully.”

“But why just leave it?”

Lotor shrugged. “I guess it doesn’t matter. No one’s been here in...a hundred years, probably. There might be records, but they’d all be in Altean.”

“So we’re just going to...live here?”

“For now. Unless you have a better idea.”

Sendak didn’t. He also didn’t want to be left alone at any point. Not while they were in the facility. “We probably shouldn’t wander,” he said reasonably. “Wouldn’t want to get lost.”

“The facility’s not that big,” Lotor said. Then he paused. “Scared?”

“No,” Sendak denied. Probably too quickly. 

“Hm,” was all Lotor said, but Sendak knew he was filing the information away for later. He did that when sparring, too, cataloging every weakness and strength, as if his life depended on it. 

It might, at some point, and Sendak had often wished the other cadets of his cohort had taken sparring as seriously as Lotor. 

Now his only sparring partners would be Lotor -once he recovered -and the training programs. 

“Look,” Sendak said, “I know you don’t like me very much, but I chose to come with you, so… We’re in this together.”

Lotor scoffed. “You could leave. You could have stayed, even. And I would bet that if you brought my father my head, he’d be happy to welcome you back. Don’t act like it’s the same for you as it is for me.”

“I could have stayed, but I didn’t. Doesn’t that count for something?”

“I didn’t ask you to come. I didn’t want you to.” 

“You’d rather be alone?”

“I’ve always been alone. I’m used to it.”

“But you don’t have to be.”

Lotor looked away. “It’s easier. It would have been better if you had just stayed. You know that. So why?”

Just the question he’d hoped to avoid. “I told you why.”

Lotor shook his head. “You didn’t. ‘Admiration’ is not a reason. It’s an excuse.”

“I-“ The words wouldn’t come to Sendak; he’d never put these feelings to words, and, having been put on the spot like this… “I don’t know,” he admitted. 

Lotor studied him thoughtfully for a long time, before nodding. “Better. But one of these days you’re going to give me an actual answer.”


	4. Stay

Once, Lotor probably would have been interested in exploring every nook and cranny of the research facility. 

He wasn’t, now. It wasn’t just the pain he was in -the pain he felt compelled to hide from Sendak -nor the fact that he didn’t think he could climb and bend and crawl as much as he would need to. 

He just...wasn’t interested. There was nothing for him out here. He had no future -he’d always known that, but now it was absurdly obvious -no chance of receiving his father’s love, no  _ anything _ . Just Kova and Sendak. 

He’d spent too much of the past week thinking about it, and now he didn’t want to think anymore. Just act. Pretend that something he did would have some positive effect somewhere, somehow. 

He threw himself into a training simulation. It was not a good idea, but his back was closed up enough that Sendak had forgone replacing the bandages.

His suit chaffed uncomfortably against the delicate new skin, so he wore a loose, thin shirt instead.

He fought with all his pent-up energy and emotions, a savagery that even the simulation was not really designed to handle. If he were fighting a flesh-and-blood opponent, he probably could have killed them like this. 

_ Good _ . 

His shirt clung to him, sweat-soaked, but he was far from done. There was so much hurt and anger inside him, and this was his only outlet. 

And he did have to let it out; otherwise, it would consume him, eat him up from the inside-

“End training sequence.”

He hadn’t noticed Sendak entering the training deck, hadn’t noticed him coming up behind him, but he should have.

He should have. 

He turned to snarl at Sendak, but Sendak looked unimpressed as he took advantage of Lotor’s surprise, easily disarmed him, and threw him over his shoulder. 

“How dare you!” Lotor hissed. “Unhand me immediately!” 

Sendak didn’t respond as he left the deck, taking Lotor back to his quarters. 

Lotor thrashed and clawed at him the whole way. It would have been enough to dissuade most others -it  _ had _ dissuaded most others -but not Sendak, even after Lotor drew blood. 

Sendak set him on his feet very gently. “You opened your back up again,” he said, his arms crossed. 

“Why do you care?”

Sendak’s ears twitched in irritation. “Don’t be a brat about this.”

Lotor would have been insulted, but ‘brat’ was probably the mildest thing he’d been called in a long time. “What do you want me to do then?”

“Take care of yourself, for one thing. Whatever you plan to do after this is only going to be delayed if you keep setting back your own recovery.”

Lotor knew that, but he didn’t have plans. He had nothing. What did it matter if it took him two months or two decades to recover? 

“Let me see what you’ve done to yourself,” Sendak said, less sternly. 

Lotor slowly, hesitantly, turned around. He didn’t like exposing his back like this, but if Sendak meant to hurt him, he’d had ample opportunity to do so already. 

He heard Sendak hiss; Lotor hadn’t thought it was that bad. It didn’t really hurt like it was bad. 

Then Sendak tugged at the hem of his shirt, and he obediently and wordlessly lifted his arms, letting Sendak undress him. 

It was… It had been a long time since Lotor let someone close to him. And never like this. 

Whatever this was. 

The shirt clung to and pulled at the newly opened marks on his back, making his eyes sting and water. Sendak dropped it on the floor, and Lotor would probably have to throw it out; it was stained a vibrant pink. 

“Lie down on your front,” Sendak said.

Lotor did, suddenly too tired to argue. Too tired to want to argue. The adrenaline from fighting the simulations was being filtered out of his blood, and it left him drained. 

Sendak came back in short order, presumably with medical supplies; Lotor didn’t look. He didn’t care. Sendak might have come back with a blaster to press against the back of his head, and he wasn't sure he would have cared. 

Sendak cleaned his back silently, gently, so much more gently than the first time. Lotor could not remember the last time he’d been touched gently, without the intent to hurt. Except for the last week, with Sendak tending his back. 

It broke something inside of him, revealed a need so great he didn’t understand how he hadn’t noticed it before, and before he knew it, he was sobbing into his folded arms, desperately trying to muffle the sounds so that Sendak wouldn’t hear. Wouldn’t notice. Wouldn’t be disgusted with how low he’d fallen. 

Sendak paused. “Am I hurting you?”

He sounded just as bewildered as Lotor felt.

“Why?” Lotor asked hoarsely. “Why are you taking care of me like this?” Even the medical officers had hurt him, in the pursuit of fixing him, and this was nothing like that at all. It was so confusing, and he wished he could understand-

“You’re still my prince,” Sendak replied. “It’s my duty to take care of you.” He resumed, just as gently. “It’s my duty to serve you.” 

It wasn’t that simple. It couldn’t be. Nothing was ever  _ simple _ . Still, he didn’t argue, just trembled under Sendak’s hands, trying to hold still. 

“I think that if you be more careful, we won’t have to bandage you back up,” Sendak said finally. 

“So no more training deck?” Lotor asked, attempting humor to hide everything that bubbled up inside him.

“Not for another week, at least,” Sendak said. “Don’t think I won't be watching.” 

“I wouldn’t expect any less of you.” 

Sendak stood and took care of the supplies, before returning. “Do you need anything else, You Highness?”

An impulse gripped Lotor, and before he could curb it, he asked, “Stay?”

It startled both of them, and Lotor felt his face grow hot. It wasn’t appropriate, by any means. It wasn’t a good idea. 

But he wanted it, badly. He didn’t think he could bear to be alone right now. 

Sendak nodded, finally. “If that’s what you want,” he said neutrally. 

Lotor didn’t know what emotion he was trying to hide, and, he supposed, it probably didn’t matter. “Please stay,” he said. “Please.”

The bed was big enough for Sendak to stretch out on the far side. They wouldn’t have to touch, which was probably for the best, but Lotor would also know that he wasn’t alone. For once. 

He fell asleep easily, feeling almost...safe. 


	5. Not Now, Boner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel like, in this universe at least, the trope of “We’re both in our peaks and we’re really horny, so we should probably sleep together but you know, casually and whoops now we’ve caught feelings” is definitely a Galra literary trope. Anyway, that’s what happens here, basically

The moment Sendak woke up, he knew he had made a huge mistake. 

Lotor had, sometime during the night, moved closer -presumably to take advantage of Sendak’s body heat; he always imagined that Lotor must be constantly freezing -and now he was curled up against Sendak’s chest, his fingers tangled in his fur, his head tucked under Sendak’s chin. 

There was probably no way to untangle him without waking him up. 

He was so small. A pretty, delicate thing, who looked like he would be  easily broken. Sendak had fought him on the training deck, and he knew better. 

What should he do about this, though? Pretend to be asleep until after Lotor woke up? 

Gods, his biology had really poor timing, because right now, his hormones were telling him that this was fine -in fact, fantastic! Superb! -and it was anything but. 

And this close… This close, he could smell Lotor. Normally, he smelled like nothing -another quirk of his...unusual biology -but now Sendak could smell that he, too, was rapidly approaching his peak. 

He should not have stayed. He should leave right now, if he could, and save them both the embarrassment that was surely going to come of this. 

Lotor made a noise in his sleep, and Sendak held deathly still as he rubbed his face against Sendak’s chest, before somehow nestling closer. 

Sendak was going to die like this. Cuddled to death by an exiled prince. 

...Not that it wasn't nice, because _ it was.  _

_ He was so small. _ And Sendak was always so protective at this point in his cycle, which could explain…a lot. He wanted to shelter Lotor, just like this, from  _ everything _ that tried to hurt him. Lotor would never have to fight again, because Sendak would be there to fight for him, protect him, keep him safe-

_ Oh no.  _

Lotor made another sound in his sleep (a tiny, adorable sound) and one eye opened, then the other. 

He frowned, and then his eyes widened.

Suddenly, he was on the other side of the bed, looking just as mortified as Sendak felt. 

“Let us never speak of this again,” he said, but his voice was still sleep-rough, and Sendak would do just about anything to hear it again. 

“I should check your wounds,” Sendak said, trying to be...professional. It was better than giving into the desires that swirled through his mind. Lotor would kill him for acting on those, probably. As he should; they were not appropriate actions to undertake with one’s prince. 

“Right,” Lotor said. He turned around stiffly, still sitting on the bed. 

The lash-marks were much improved, even the ones Lotor had reopened last night. Sendak had never seen someone heal quite this fast, but that could be due to Lotor’s biology. It was an asset, to be sure; the faster you healed, the faster you could get back on the battlefield. 

“I think you’ll live,” Sendak said.

“Oh good,” Lotor replied drily. He stood and stalked across the room, going to the closet to pull on a clean shirt. Another slightly-too-big shirt that exposed the delicate curves of his collarbones. 

Sendak forced himself to look away. “I couldn’t help but notice, Your Highness, that your peak appears to be approaching.”

Lotor paused. Frowned. Nodded. “Yes, I suppose it is.”

Sendak swallowed hard. “I could...offer...my... _ assistance _ , if you wished.” 

That was standard practice among cohorts. Males often assisted each other during their peaks, as it cut down on both unwanted pregnancies and misdirected aggression. Some suggested it also helped cohesion within the unit; Sendak didn’t know about that, but-

“I’ve spent my peaks alone before. I’ll be fine.” Then Lotor frowned again, taking time to actively study Sendak. “You didn’t offer just for my benefit, did you?”

Any full-blooded, sexually mature Galra would have been able to smell that Sendak was nearly at the peak of his virility, but he supposed that perhaps Lotor’s nose was not as strong as most Galra. “No,” he admitted.

Lotor was silent a very long time. A worryingly long time. “It would be cruel to force you to spend one of your first peaks alone,” he said neutrally. 

Sendak was about to argue that  _ Lotor _ had apparently spent  _ his _ peaks alone, and they were likely still just as intense as Sendak’s, since Lotor wasn’t that  _ much _ older, but- Well.. This was what he wanted, wasn’t it? It would just be meaningless sex, but that was fine. His attraction would fade after his peak ended, in a few weeks, and in the meantime…

Lotor left the bedroom, leading Sendak to the kitchen. There were a variety of different types of rations, nothing Sendak wasn’t used to eating. He barely tasted his breakfast.

Lotor took his time, seemingly staring at a speck of dust on the table-top, undoubtedly thinking about something. He always was. 

“You should know,” he said finally, still staring at the table, “that I am rather...inexperienced in such matters.”

That made Sendak’s brain short-circuit. He was always a little possessive during his peaks, and for Lotor to be telling him now that no one else had touched him like that was… He swallowed. “I- How?” He rasped out. 

Lotor shrugged. The collar of his shirt slid down over one shoulder, and Sendak was transfixed. “No one wants a half-breed mongrel, I suppose. Even one who is also a prince.”

_ I do _ , Sendak almost said. Instead, he said, “I’ll go slow. I won’t hurt you.”

“I know,” Lotor said, and then he frowned, like he couldn’t believe he’d said that. Sendak couldn’t either, and, even more unbelievably, he’d sounded sincere. “If there’s...nothing else...you need to do…”

There wasn’t; his only duty now was to take care of Lotor. 

He strode around the table and picked Lotor up, in his arms this time, instead of over his shoulder.

Lotor did not put up a fight. He did make a small, startled sound, but then he relaxed and wrapped his arms around Sendak’s neck. 

He was so terribly light, very easy to lift and carry. Sendak could probably carry him forever, and he very much wanted to, but he had more pressing concerns. “I will please you, my prince,” he murmured. “I swear it.”

Lotor looked up at him, his eyes wide and dark. “Please,” he whispered back. “Please do.”

He wasn’t begging; to describe it as such would be to go down a dangerous road, one that ended with fantasies of Lotor kneeling at his feet and- 

No, he was ordering, and Sendak was helpless to do anything but comply. 

He carried Lotor back to his quarters and set him gently on his feet. He wanted to lay Lotor out carefully on the bed, but with his back still healing…

Lotor’s hands went immediately to the catches on Sendak’s suit. 

“Impatient,” Sendak teased. That earned him a glare. 

And he should know better. Lotor was not another cadet from his cohort; he was a prince, exiled or not, and he deserved a certain amount of respect. 

Lotor kept fumbling with the catch, so Sendak gently pushed his hands away and did it himself, finally pulling the suit down and off. 

Lotor’s eyes widened and he hummed appreciatively as he looked Sendak up and down. Sendak wasn’t one to brag, but he had been considered quite handsome at Central Command. 

“Undress me,” Lotor demanded, still softly, almost like he was asking, but not quite. 

Sendak did, and finally,  _ finally _ , he got his mouth on those collarbones he’d tried so hard to resist staring at. 

Lotor moaned, and one hand came up to cup the back of Sendak’s head, holding him in place. Not hard; Sendak could easily break the hold if he wanted to, but he didn’t. 

Sendak let his hands roam over Lotor’s body. It was no surprise to him that Lotor was pretty much completely hairless, but what did surprise him was the softness of his skin. Other Galra did not have skin that soft, even if they weren’t covered in for or scales, and just touching him was...addictive. 

Lotor seemed to like it, too, if the sounds he made were any indication. 

Sendak bit down on Lotor’s collarbone, hard enough to break skin, and blood flooded his mouth, hot and sweet and tart. Lotor’s breath hitched, and for a brief second, Sendak wondered if he’d done something he shouldn’t have. 

Lotor stroked the crest of fur that extended most of the way down Sendak’s back, then grabbed a fistful and  _ pulled _ . 

Sendak gasped against Lotor’s skin and apologetically lapped at the blood smeared down his chest. 

Lotor hummed at that. “Mm...good…”

Sendak glanced up to see that Lotor’s head was thrown back a little, exposing the elegant column of his throat. His eyes were closed, but his mouth was open, and he was panting slightly already.

Sendak sank down to his knees and sat back on his heels. Lotor opened one eye to see what was happening, then both when it dawned on him what Sendak was planning to do. 

“ _ Oh _ ,” he said shakily. “You don’t have to do that…”

“I want to,” Sendak said, and he did. He did. He wanted whatever Lotor would allow him to take. “If you let me.”

Because Lotor was still his prince. 

Lotor nodded, for once in his life speechless. His eyes spoke volumes, though, huge and dark and raptly attentive. 

Sendak placed his hands around Lotor’s waist, to hold him steady, but then he had to stop for a moment because  _ his hands nearly went all the way around Lotor’s waist?  _ In fact, if he stretched his hands out just a little…

Lotor made...some sort of sound. It would be disrespectful to say that the prince had  _ squeaked _ , after all. The prince was a dignified man. 

Then Lotor swallowed hard, and managed to rasp out, “Well? What are you waiting for?”

Right. Right, of course. He wasn’t here to obsess about just how small Lotor was. (Even if he was.) 

He licked a trail up one of Lotor’s thighs. He hadn’t realized it before, but Lotor was all hard muscle, firm and nearly unyielding. He’d always known that Lotor was strong for his size, but this was-

He ran his tongue along the underside of Lotor’s cock, where the ridges were, and Lotor almost toppled over, his knees gone shaky and weak. 

“Do that again,” he demanded breathlessly. 

And who was Sendak to refuse the orders of his prince? He did, and Lotor moaned, deep in his chest. He pulled at Sendak’s fur, but that was...enjoyable, too. 

He kept at it for a little while, and then, on a whim (and out of a desire to see what Lotor looked like when he came), he swallowed Lotor’s cock in a single smooth motion.

Lotor’s grip in his fur tightened, almost painfully. “I- I can’t-“

Sendak made a pleased rumble in his chest, and swallowed again, and that was all it took for Lotor to fall apart.

It was only Sendak’s hands that kept him remotely upright. He rubbed his thumbs up and down against the crests of Lotor’s hips, trying to bring him down slowly, gently. 

It was probably the hormones talking, but Sendak liked how Lotor felt, how he smelled, how he  _ tasted… _

He finally pulled off. Oversensitivity wouldn’t be much of a problem right now, and that was good, because he really didn’t want this to be over yet. 

“My prince?” He asked, looking up at Lotor.

Lotor closed his eyes and ran a rough hand through his hair, seemingly trying to calm himself a little. His breathing was still ragged and hard, and his skin was so hot it seemed to burn. “Fuck me,” he demanded, hoarsely. 

Sendak paused. “Are you...sure?” By rights, he ought to be subservient to Lotor; Lotor was his prince, not-

“ _ Yes _ ,” Lotor breathed. “Yes, please, Sendak, I am, I am…”

And how could Sendak deny him when he asked like that?


	6. Almost Like Lovers Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lotor has the most Bottom Bitch Energy and that’s a fact

Lotor allowed Sendak to arrange him just as he liked, on his knees and elbows, his back arched just so…

It would probably be better this way. Facing away from Sendak would make it much harder for him to give into the unexpected urge to kiss him. 

Not that… Not that Sendak wouldn’t be a good partner for someone. He was strong, handsome. A fierce warrior. One day, if he’d stayed at Central Command, he certainly would  have been promoted to Commander, and had his own fleet.

But he hadn’t. Lotor still didn’t know how he felt about that. 

He felt Sendak settle between his spread knees. Normally, he didn’t like to be so exposed and defenseless, but this… Maybe this, he could get used to.  

Sendak ran a soothing hand over his back, carefully avoiding any open wounds. It was too much; he wanted this, but he couldn’t handle how gentle Sendak was being, and his first instinct was to lash out, but Sendak would leave and then-

He trembled, instead, trying to hold still. Let Sendak take what they both wanted. 

He heard something being uncapped- there had been a bottle of lubricant in the bathroom, he remembered distantly; he’d never used it but -and then Sendak’s cock was pressing up against Lotor’s entrance. 

“Relax,” Sendak said. 

Lotor took a deep breath and nodded. The first part would be easy, just a smooth taper. The second part… Well, hopefully that was when it started to feel  _ good _ . Those ridges were designed to stimulate. 

He forced the tension out of his body and nodded again; Sendak started pressing in, achingly slow. 

It didn’t hurt, and even if it had, Lotor could handle pain. No, it was more...strange, than anything else. Not good, not bad. Just strange. 

And then they got to the first ridge, and his elbows wouldn’t hold him up anymore. It was only Sendak’s hands on his hips that kept his knees from collapsing, too. 

“Don’t...stop,” he panted, because Sendak had, apparently uncertain if he should continue. And he should. He absolutely should. There was nothing Lotor wanted more than that. “Please, I need-“

Sendak didn’t need more encouragement than that, and soon enough, he was sheathed all the way inside Lotor.

Lotor had never felt so... _ full _ before. Certainly, he’d never experienced this type of pleasure before. It was good, so incredibly good. Was this how it felt to be  _ desired _ , for once in his life? 

Sendak had done an admirable job of holding still while he waited for Lotor to acclimate to the feeling, but now Lotor needed something else. “Move,” Lotor demanded. Begged. It was all the same. “Please, I need more, please-“

And then Sendak began fucking him in earnest, and Lotor couldn’t  _ breathe _ , couldn’t do anything but feel. Didn’t want to do anything but take.

And then… Then Sendak bit gently at the back of his neck, licked a stripe up one side, took the tip of Lotor’s ear into his mouth and bit at that, too, and-

Reaching his climax had  _ never _ felt like this before. But then, this wasn’t perfunctory self-pleasure to take the edge off when he was too anxious to sleep. He hadn’t quite realized that sex would be this good.

“Should I keep going?” Sendak asked, his voice a little strained. 

“ _ Yes _ ,” Lotor said. He wanted to feel Sendak come, wanted to know what it would be like.

Sendak did, his thrusts becoming more and more erratic -frantic, almost - and Lotor deliberately clenched down, mostly to see how Sendak would react. 

His movements stuttered, and then he was coming, hard, growling all the while, his cock still buried deep inside Lotor. 

That, too, was good, a secondary pleasure that left him sated and a little sleepy. 

Sendak finally released him, and he collapsed the rest of the way, boneless and uncaring. 

Sendak collapsed next to him, still breathing hard. He looked just as disheveled as Lotor felt, and just as sated, too. 

“Is my prince pleased?” Sendak asked finally, when he caught his breath. 

Lotor laughed breathlessly. “You did an admirable job.” He was starting to feel a little cold, though, without Sendak’s bulk pressed against him, so he moved closer to Sendak. Waking up this morning surrounded by Sendak’s warmth had been nice, if a little mortifying, but surely after sex, he could… Just for a little while. 

And Sendak’s fur was so soft against his skin.

Sendak flinched, almost, apparently startled, but then he slowly, hesitantly, draped one arm over Lotor, pulling him a little closer. Lotor made a pleased sound, and the tension drained out of Sendak. 

In just a few minutes, they were both sound asleep. 

* * *

He woke warm. Warm and  _ safe _ , which was an unusual occurrence in and of itself. 

Sendak had started purring in his sleep at some point, which was… Lotor would not say that it was cute, because obviously, nothing about Sendak could be considered  _ cute _ . 

But it was...comforting. Soothing. 

So far, exile was more like a vacation than a punishment (as long as he didn’t think too hard on  _ why _ he’d been exiled).  He always had to be on his guard at Central Command, but here… Here it was only him and Sendak (and Kova), and Sendak was right: Lotor didn’t have to prove himself. Sendak had taken his measure more than once, and found him...What? Worthy enough to give up everything just to follow out here? 

The thought made him anxious. Scared, if he was being honest with himself. The need for Sendak’s...goodwill was quickly eclipsing the need he had for his father’s love, as if having one would soothe the ache of not having the other.

One of these things he could have. Sendak had followed him, after all, and he hadn’t been lying about working for the emperor. Sendak’s reasons were his own, but he had come with him, and… and that did count for something. 

He could survive by himself. He’d proved that to himself over and over again, as more and more people abandoned him or turned on him or-

Sendak’s breathing changed, and Lotor wondered if he should move, or… Or if it was alright to have this. He wanted it. But as with all things he wanted, it probably wouldn’t -couldn’t -last. 

Sendak opened his eyes and blinked a few times. He didn’t say anything at first, and Lotor appreciated that, because he didn’t know what to say either. 

There was no knowing how long it would be before his exiled was lifted, if it ever was, so they might be stuck out here for years. Or maybe forever. And that meant they’d have to put up with each other, at the very least. 

“I feel that I should ask your forgiveness,” Sendak said finally, rubbing his thumb across the bite mark he’d left on Lotor’s collarbone. 

“It’s nothing,” Lotor said. “I...liked it.” He felt himself flush. This was something new, something he’d never experienced, and he was so far out of his depth.

“I’m glad,” Sendak said. 

Lotor realized he was still nestled against Sendak’s chest, and his flush grew hotter as he sat up. “I- Thank you. For...everything.”

“It is an honor, my prince.” 

That strange, unexplained and inexplicable urge to kiss Sendak was back, stronger than ever, harder to resist. 

If this kept up… He was going to do something he shouldn’t. 

He nodded and climbed out of the bed. In other circumstances, he might have tried to preserve some of his modesty, but he’d all but begged Sendak to fuck him only a few hours ago. Modesty was the least of his concerns. 

He felt Sendak’s eyes tracking him as he went to the bathroom for a cup of water, and it was...nice, to be wanted. Desired. 

He wondered, idly, while he finished his water, what it would take to get Sendak to bend him over the sink. That was an attractive mental image, and he would be absolutely  _ helpless _ to wriggle his way out of that one, especially if Sendak pinned his wrists against the wall or the counter…

“What are you thinking of, my prince?” Sendak asked from the bed, amused. 

Lotor realized he’d gotten half-hard just from fantasizing. His peaks were not usually this intense, but this one was shaping up to be… almost debilitating. He hoped Sendak could keep up. 

“How nice it would be if you bent me over the sink,” Lotor replied with a seductive grin. 

Sendak’s breath hitched, and Lotor heard the tearing of fabric that meant Sendak had surely lost control of his claws. “Do you really-?” He asked hoarsely. 

“Some other time, perhaps,” Lotor said, returning to the bed. In ordinary circumstances, at Central Command, there would be other things to occupy his days, even during his peak, and he would not be so...overwhelmed by it. Here, there were no distractions, nothing better to do. ”For now… I think I should like to ride you.”

Sendak swallowed audibly as he nodded. 

Why was he so affected by this? He wasn’t the one who had no idea what he was doing. Sendak had experience, for all that he was younger than Lotor; he shouldn’t be nervous or...

And it wasn’t like Lotor was very attractive; he knew that. He’d accepted that. He knew that, at Central Command, Sendak had had his pick of the most attractive partners he might want. 

It was probably only the way his peak affected him. 

None of that stopped Lotor from sitting astride Sendak’s hips. He still  _ wanted _ , even if Sendak’s current...lust made no sense. 

He found that Sendak was already hard, which was good, because Lotor was not in a patient mood. 

Sendak handed him the bottle of lubricant, almost meekly, and Lotor would admit that he might have rushed through slicking up Sendak’s cock a little, but he was suddenly… voracious, almost, and he wanted, and he wanted to be wanted, and Sendak  _ did _ , even if it was just for now. 

Sendak’s hands came up to steady his hips as he lifted himself. It was just as well, because he didn’t feel very steady, especially when he began to sink down on Sendak’s cock, a little faster than earlier, because he was still open from that.

Sendak was panting heavily by the time Lotor’s ass was flush with his hips, and he  _ growled _ when Lotor rolled his hips, testing. 

_ Oh...yes _ , this was what he’d needed for so long. It was impossible to think like this, and he loved that, loved that for once his mind was quiet and he could just… _ feel _ . Maybe he just needed to have his brains fucked out from time-to-time. 

Then Sendak surged up into a sitting position, and Lotor yelped in surprise, at the change of angle, at the way Sendak’s claws raked into his hips. 

Sendak could lift him quite easily. He’d known that for some time, but now Sendak was using it for...impure purposes, lifting Lotor almost all the way off his cock and then letting him drop back down. 

Lotor couldn’t do anything except take it; even if he could find the words to tell Sendak to stop, he didn’t want him to, so he went limp and let Sendak use him as he would.

Even the idea sent sparks down Lotor’s spine. To have it actually happen…

It didn’t take Lotor long to come after that, and Sendak followed shortly after. 

When he caught his breath, Sendak said, “I shouldn’t have-“

“Don’t apologize,” Lotor murmured. “You’re not sorry.”

“Well, no, but-“

“I liked that. Your hands fit so nicely around my hips, don’t you think? And you hold me up so easily…”

“Then at least allow me to make it up to you,” Sendak said, darker and more seductive now.

Lotor nodded, curious and more than a little eager to find out what Sendak meant. 

Sendak set Lotor on the bed, then stretched out. “Come here.”

Lotor did, even though his knees were still shaky. 

When he was close enough, Sendak grabbed his hips again and lifted him so that he was kneeling over Sendak’s face. 

It felt like all the breath had been knocked out of him. “ _ Oh… _ ” 

“I should at least clean up the mess I made,” Sendak murmured against his thigh. 

“You should,” Lotor agreed breathlessly. He was going to combust from this. There was no way he was going to survive. 

He gripped the headboard.

Sendak pulled his hips down so far Lotor wasn’t sure how Sendak was planning to breathe, but then all thought  _ vanished _ with the first swipe of Sendak’s tongue. 

It started out gently enough, barely more than kitten licks, but Lotor was sensitive at this point in his cycle, and he was hard again in no time. 

He tried pressing back against Sendak’s mouth, but his hands held him steady, and he couldn’t move.

He was vaguely aware of his claws unsheathing and digging into the headboard, but he didn’t care. 

And then… Then… And this was the thing that was going to kill him, he just knew it… Then Sendak pressed his tongue into Lotor’s entrance.

Lotor might have screamed. He wasn’t sure. He couldn’t hear anything over the white static of his mind as he tried to process this. 

He was going to lose his mind. Or burst into flames. Sendak was entirely too talented for his own good, because when this was over,  _ Lotor was never going to let him leave this bed ever again.  _ He talked about serving his prince, and this was what his prince demanded of him. 

Lotor came again, so violently hard that it was almost painful. A good kind of pain, one that made the pleasure so much greater, so much sweeter. 

The next thing he was aware of was Sendak’s warmth pressing against his back, his fingers working to get Lotor’s claws free from where they were embedded in the headboard. 

Finally, Lotor was able to retract them, and Sendak helped him lay down; none of his limbs wanted to cooperate with him, and he was suddenly exhausted.

But content, as he never had been before. 

So content, in fact, that when Sendak laid down next to him and put an arm over him to pull him closer, he started purring. Loudly. 

Sendak froze, then nuzzled the top of Lotor’s head (almost like lovers did). 


	7. Cockblocked By Poorly Timed Keysmashing

Sendak wasn’t sure how Lotor had talked him into this. 

The abandoned facility was no less creepy now than it had been. It would have to be fully staffed and bustling for it to be anything less than ominous. Two people and a cat were not going to cut it. 

But then Lotor had proposed a little game, and, well… Males weren’t at their brightest during their peaks. 

It had seemed like a good idea with Lotor standing next to him in the control room, wearing nothing but one of his too-large shirts. (It barely reached halfway down his thighs, and when Sendak found him, he was going to fuck him with it still on.) 

Now, with Lotor searching for a hiding place, and another minute before Sendak could go find him… 

It wasn’t the dark that made Sendak nervous. He could see in very low light, after all. He wasn’t actually sure what about this facility unsettled him. Only that it made his fur stand on end. 

At least Lotor was having fun. 

The last week had been...exhausting, in the best way possible. And Lotor still wasn’t done, which meant Sendak wasn’t either. He could keep up, and he was going to. 

It wasn’t that Lotor was bored, per se; only, they’d fucked on nearly every flat surface in his ship (including, but not limited to, the bathroom sink, the cockpit, and the kitchen floor), and now he was...restless. 

So he had proposed this little game. 

A chime sounded, signaling the end of Lotor’s five minute head start. 

He’d be fairly easy to find, especially since his scent was so strong right now. It broadcasted his virility in neon lights, and Sendak was torn between fighting him and fucking him. 

Very Galra of him. 

He followed the scent-trail, the only scent that wasn’t old and musty; it stood out vibrantly, so clear he could practically  _ see _ it. 

One other scent caught his attention as he turned down another hallway. 

It led away from Lotor’s trail, but he wondered if he should follow it anyway. If only because it smelled like death and decay.

His instincts were good; Galra had evolved to hunt and kill and to recognize death. And something -or, more likely, someone -had died here. 

All his fur stood on end now. He shouldn’t be afraid- there were no other  life signs aboard the facility; they were alone -and yet…

But the scent was old, faint. It would have happened a long time ago. Decades ago, certainly, and only the artificial environment of the facility had preserved the scent this long. 

He turned back to Lotor’s scent. It was far more enticing anyway, thick and rich, brimming with life and the possibility of life. It was somewhat unique, to Sendak’s nose, but that was likely because Lotor was a half-breed; everything about him was unique. 

He came across a junction that was absolutely saturated with the scent, and it took Sendak a moment to realize that he’d doubled back, gone around in circles, purposefully trying to confuse Sendak’s nose. 

Or he’d gotten lost, which was far less likely. Lotor’s sense of direction was impeccable. 

It took longer than Sendak would like to admit to sort it out, but he did, finally, and he found the end of the trail and-

Lotor was sitting on a computer console, legs crossed and leaning back on his hands, still wearing nothing but the shirt Sendak was going to tear off with his teeth. 

“Took you long enough,” Lotor said, smirking. “I was about to start without you.” He uncrossed his legs and trailed a hand up the inside of one thigh. 

Sendak could not help the growl that bubbled up. Nor did he want to. Lotor was playing a dangerous game here, and he should be reminded of that fact. 

Lotor’s grin widened. 

And that was enough of that; Sendak was going to wipe that grin off his face if it was the last thing he did. He yanked his suit down just far enough, then grabbed Lotor by the backs of his knees, forcing him to bend almost double over the console. 

“ _ Yes _ ,” Lotor crooned. 

Sendak wasn’t sure why Lotor liked it rough, but he did, always trying to rile Sendak up to get him to  _ really _ fuck him. 

It was just… Lotor was so  _ small _ . So fragile-looking. In reality, he was anything but; it was just difficult to remember that like this, when the size difference became so profoundly apparent. 

The shirt had bunched up around Lotor’s hips, and Sendak would very much like to take the time to lick and bite at his thighs- they always looked so...delectable -but Lotor was already impatient. Maybe...Maybe some other time. 

Sendak released one of Lotor’s knees in order to guide his cock into him (he was still  _ dripping _ from earlier); Lotor reached out to grab something, in order to brace himself, as he wrapped his free leg around Sendak’s waist, trying to pull him closer, urge him on. 

A sudden chime startled them both. 

_ Partial match to Alchemist Honerva. Continue? _

Presumably, that was the computer’s text-to-speech feature, and not, like, a vengeful spirit. 

They both looked at Lotor’s hand, which was resting on an interface of some sort. It had lit up, glowing a soft blue. 

“Yes,” Lotor said, licking his lips. His brow was furrowed, confused and curious. “Continue.”

_ Please verify identity to continue.  _

__ Lotor’s frown deepened. He gently pushed Sendak away with one hand and hopped down from the console. “Re-scan,” he said, repositioning his hand on the interface. 

_ Scan complete. Identity unknown. Genetic scan: fifty percent Galra, fifty percent Altean- _

Sendak watched the color drain from Lotor’s face.

_ Filial match to Alchemist Honerva, born on Altea. No known living relatives. Records search?  _

“When was this archive last updated?” Lotor asked, his voice firm even if he had to grip the console with his other hand to keep himself upright. 

_ This archive was last updated one year before the facility was shut down.  _

“Search records for Alchemist Honerva,” Lotor said. 

The computer pulled up a picture. There was text underneath it, but it was in Altean -Sendak assumed -so he couldn’t read it. 

But the picture… The woman in it… He had to look back and forth between her and Lotor to make sure he wasn’t imagining it.

The resemblance was uncanny. 

Lotor brought a hand up to his face. “Mother?” He whispered, sounding so childlike and sad that it-

Sendak stopped that thought in its tracks. 

He didn’t know what to say, even -especially -when tears began tracking down Lotor’s face.

“End task,” Lotor said finally, and now there was a tremor in his voice. What would it take for the dam to truly break? 

The console went dark again. 

Lotor turned to Sendak, swallowed. Lifted his chin. Just like he had the day he’d been exiled. 

“Sendak, I know that- That your parents were killed during the Siege of Altea, so I understand if you are angry, or… Or if you feel the need to avenge them. I’d prefer you do it now. Honorably. I know that you are an honorable man. I know you won’t make me suffer. So please, just...do it.” He was shaking all over now, but he still managed, somehow, to hold himself upright.

Sendak was so transfixed with him that it took a moment for his meaning to filter through. 

Lotor thought Sendak would want to kill him because he was half-Altean. 

Sendak had a knife with him- it was habit to be armed at all times, except in the presence of the emperor -but he couldn’t- He couldn’t imagine himself using it on Lotor. 

Sendak unclipped the sheathe from where it was around his thigh, held it out in front of him, and let it fall to the floor. “No.”

Lotor stared down at the sheathed knife, then back up at Sendak, startled and confused. “No?” He echoed. “No what?”

“I won’t take my vengeance out on you. You didn’t kill my parents. They died honorably in battle, one you did not participate in. Just because you are half-Altean, it doesn’t mean you are responsible for...anything they did.”

“Others would not see it like that,” Lotor said quietly, finally looking away. 

“You said it yourself: I am an honorable man. I will not hold you accountable for things you took no part in.” 

It was like Lotor had been held up by strings, and now they’d been cut; he sank to the floor, half-turned away from Sendak, his face buried in his hands, wracked by sobs he could no longer contain.

Sendak...didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know what he should do to help. Others would have mocked Lotor for this perceived weakness, kicked him while he was down.

Sendak wouldn’t; it wasn’t the honorable thing to do. 

He sat and gathered up Lotor into his arms. Lotor went easily, clinging to Sendak like a lifeline. 

It was...strange, and  _ unnerving _ to see Lotor like this. He was supposed to be strong, able to take whatever was thrown at him with his head high and his shoulders set. Sendak had seen him bloody opponents twice his size -he himself had been bloodied by Lotor on more than one occasion -never hesitant, never remorseful. 

This was an intimate weakness, one you never showed to someone unless you could be sure that they wouldn’t use it against you. 

And Sendak wouldn’t. Couldn’t.

Did Lotor know that? 

Sendak wanted to tell him, to reassure him that whatever happened, he would never turn this back on him, never use it against him, never think he was anything lesser because of it-

But. 

Lotor finally reasserted his iron control, pushing himself up and out of Sendak’s arms. He didn’t say anything as Sendak stood. 

He still trembled, and there were tear stains on his face, but he didn’t bother to wipe them away. 

“Lotor, I-“

“Don’t. Just...don’t. Not right now,” Lotor said,  _ brokenly _ , pleading.

Sendak nodded, and followed Lotor as he walked back to the ship. 

When they got there, Lotor said, without looking at him, “Please excuse me. I would like some time to think.” His voice lacked any of his usual inflections, sounding  _ dead _ . Listless. Defeated. 

Sendak nodded again, unsure what to say; Lotor didn’t give him a chance anyway. He just left, locking himself in his quarters. 

And there was nothing Sendak could do. 


	8. Lotor, You Useless Twink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: for the purposes of the fics I write, Galra lose and regrow teeth many times over the course of their lives (sort of like sharks, but not quite).

Lotor emerged from his quarters later that day, tired and out-of-sorts and confused, but so terribly lonely he didn’t think he could stand spending another second alone. 

It was… a startling thing to learn about himself. He always knew he was a half-breed -the whispers started following him before he could walk, calling him “mongrel”, “cur”, “bastard”; sometimes worse -but to learn that he was half- _ Altean _ … To learn that his  _ mother _ was Altean, his mother of whom it was forbidden to speak…

His mother, who had been the only person his father had ever loved. Could ever love. 

Kova was waiting for him outside the door, and Lotor let him weave around his ankles for a minute before scooping him up. At least Kova didn’t care. He still purred the way he always did, and then, when he’d had enough attention, wriggled until Lotor set him back down.

It was late, late enough that there were only two places Sendak was likely to be. 

He tried the training deck first, but it was empty and powered down. 

He steeled himself. It would have been better if Sendak were here; this was neutral territory. Sendak’s quarters were just that: Sendak’s. 

But it was either that, or hope Kova was enough to fill whatever void he felt now. If Kova felt like sleeping in his bed tonight; he didn’t always. 

He caught himself extending and retracting his claws nervously and made himself stop. It was a childish habit. 

He went to Sendak’s quarters and pressed the chime. 

The door slid open, after an eternity (probably no more than a minute), and Sendak was there, blinking against the lights of the corridor. 

He’d obviously been woken up. 

“Your Highness?” He asked after a moment, because Lotor hadn’t spoken, and he didn’t know what to say, but he should say  _ something _ , shouldn’t he? 

“I- I don’t expect you to stay here,” Lotor blurted. “If you don’t want to. I know things have...changed, and I wouldn’t…”

Sendak shook his head. “Nothing’s changed for me. You’re still my prince, half-Altean or not. I will serve you however you see fit.”

“But-“

“You’re still my prince,” Sendak said more firmly. “ _ Nothing _ has changed.”

“Oh,” was all Lotor could say. He hadn’t expected that. Sendak was shaping up to be one of his most unpredictable foes, simply because he did exactly what he said he would, and Lotor wasn’t used to that. 

Sendak’s ears twitched, which was Lotor’s only warning before Sendak was scooping him up, in almost exactly the same way he’d scooped up Kova not ten minutes ago. 

“Couldn’t sleep?” Sendak asked softly, carrying Lotor back to his bed.

It wasn’t as large as Lotor’s, but still big enough for both of them. Though he knew he’d probably end up as close to Sendak as he could get. The ship’s controls only let him set the temperature so high. 

“No,” Lotor said, “but I’m not-“ His peak had ended abruptly, which was not unusual for him; they’d always been irregular, and this was only his fourth. At his age, he should have had twice that number, and they shouldn’t be so...precipitous, but, he supposed, that was yet another thing he could chalk up to his “tainted” blood.  

Then again, emotional or physical trauma could end a peak early, so perhaps it was that. 

“I know,” Sendak said.

Lotor flushed. He knew, in theory, that Sendak could smell it on him, but being reminded of it when he wasn’t aroused was…

Sendak set him down gently on the bed, tucking the covers in around him. Which was good; as chilly as the rest of the ship was, Sendak’s room was downright freezing. 

It was strange to feel so safe around someone, but he did. He was too tired to figure out what that meant, but for now…

For now it was enough to not be alone. 

Sendak slid into bed next to him, and Lotor reached out. Sendak pulled him close, draped an arm over him… 

Lotor purred himself to sleep.

* * *

He woke alone the next morning, which, he supposed, was for the best. It would be...inappropriate to engage in further activities with Sendak now that he wasn’t in his peak, and Sendak was surely restless, since, as far as Lotor knew, he still had another week of his. 

Not that Lotor wouldn’t like to. 

It would be different now, no longer a fevered rush to completion. No longer instinct-driven, no longer influenced so heavily by hormones and pheromones. 

But it would be inappropriate. Scandalous, possibly. Dangerous, certainly. 

The bed was still warm, which meant Sendak hadn’t been gone that long. 

The bed was still warm, and Lotor was loath to leave it. The tip of his nose was cold already, and his ears would be next.

He sighed, then heaved himself out of bed and out of Sendak’s room as fast as he could. He knew all that fur had be warm, but did Sendak really need his quarters to be so frigid? 

Sendak was where Lotor expected to find him: on the training deck, battling against several bots.

Lotor would admit a certain...aesthetic appreciation in watching Sendak work. His form was good, and he was strong and fast and agile. Not to mention his physical condition, which was…

“Good morning, Your Highness,” Sendak said when the simulation ended.

Lotor crossed his arms. “I really don’t think you need to stand on ceremony when it's just the two of us.”

“And Kova.”

“He’s a cat; he doesn’t care.” 

Sendak’s ears twitched. “It would be disrespectful to call you by your given name.”

“Not if I gave you permission. Which you now have.”

“Very well, Lotor.”

Oh, that was a mistake. Lotor felt his face flush. “I am going to go- eat. So…” He waved one hand as he turned away, walking faster than he needed to, and he still wasn’t sure  _ why _ . Why  _ anything _ that was happening, was happening. 

The obvious reason was that his peak was not quite as over as he thought it was, but he was pretty familiar with how it felt, and it didn’t feel like this. 

After he’d eaten and showered, he felt more like himself than he had in a while. Several weeks, at least. 

Sendak was still on the training deck. Again, not surprising; he had to do  _ something _ with the restless energy that came with this phase of his cycle. 

“I was hoping to join you today,” Lotor said. His back was healed well enough for it. He’d have scars, of course, but he could manage. And he still needed an outlet, especially now that sex was off the table. 

“One-on-one?” Sendak asked. “Or would you prefer a simulation?”

“One-on-one.” Some part of him missed his sessions with Sendak, back at Central Command. He always knew what to expect there, and what was expected of him. “But don’t go easy on me just because I’ve been convalescing.”

“I would never,” Sendak said with mock-offense. 

Lotor grinned. 

* * *

He probably should have expected Sendak to have the upper hand here.  _ He _ hadn’t had to recover after getting his back flayed open, after all. 

It was disgraceful, almost; usually he was able to at least hold his own against Sendak. Today he was...not. 

There was something thrilling about the fact that Sendak barely seemed to have to put any effort into it, though. Lotor should not find it arousing- it was terribly dangerous to be so defenseless -but  _ he did. _

“Again,” he demanded for the millionth time, because he was still unwilling to stop until he’d mastered the forms Sendak was trying to teach him. 

Sendak looked down at him a little dubiously, like he couldn’t believe Lotor still wanted to keep going.

Personally, Lotor thought his tenacity was one of his best qualities. 

Sendak managed to drop him to the ground (again), but this time Lotor took Sendak with him, pulling him down on top of him.

Which was A Mistake. It would be so easy to reach up and kiss Sendak like he’d wanted to for what seemed like so long…

Instead, he twisted a little, drove his knee into Sendak’s stomach, and then drove his elbow into Sendak’s mouth. 

“Very...good...Your Highness,” Sendak wheezed after Lotor scrambled to his feet. 

Lotor had to actively control his urge to preen at the compliment. 

Sendak turned away a little and spat out blood and teeth onto the floor. 

“Are you hurt?” Lotor started to ask, but Sendak shook his head.

“They were loose anyway.” He heaved himself to his feet. “Again?”

“I-“ Lotor licked his lips. “I want to-“ Oh, this was a bad idea. A really bad idea. He just knew it. “Your peak is still…?”

“...Yes,” Sendak answered neutrally.        

“You could… If you wanted to.” He made a few vague hand gestures, unwilling to elaborate more; his face already felt hotter than the surface of a sun. 

“Do  _ you _ want me to?”

“...Yes.” He did; he shouldn’t, but he did. 

Sendak’s eyes were very dark; he wanted this, too. As expected; it was easy to work Sendak up in this state. Still, Sendak shook his head. “It’s not something that...“

Lotor knew what he was going to say: this wasn’t something you did outside of your peaks. Not casually. Not meaninglessly. Sometimes, not even without the intent to marry. Not if you considered yourself a Galra of honor. 

“I want you,” Lotor said quietly. That was the truth, but it was open to interpretation; he wasn’t baring any part of his soul Sendak hadn’t already seen. Unless Sendak chose to read more into it. “I want you,” he said again, a little louder, a little more firmly. 

Sendak still seemed hesitant, but Lotor was reaching the end of his patience. He stepped closer, almost within Sendak’s personal space, and looked up at him. “Please,” he breathed.

Lotor saw the exact moment Sendak made his decision, the exact moment his self-restraint snapped, but before he could say anything, his back was against the wall of the training deck.

“You should know better,” Sendak panted, “than to tease like that. You are a menace, and someone should teach you a lesson.”

“You should,” Lotor agreed. “I’m terrible, aren’t I? Taunting you into doing what you’ve been fantasizing about all day?” 

Sendak growled, and the sound alone made Lotor’s toes curl in his boots, made shivers go down his spine. Then Sendak shoved him so that his chest was flush against the wall, with one of Sendak’s hands holding him there so he couldn’t squirm or find his balance. 

The other hand practically tore the catches of his suit trying to get it undone, which was fine. He like it when Sendak was riled up and impatient. It didn’t give either of them time to think, and that was the point. He didn’t want to think; he just wanted to  _ feel _ . 

His suit was pulled down to his thighs, and then he heard the impact of Sendak’s knees on the deck, and then-

_ Oh _ . There was no lubricant here, and of course they were both too impatient to go get some, so Sendak had settled for the next best thing, and Lotor did like being eaten out. It was so terribly  _ filthy _ and it always made his skin  _ burn _ with arousal and shame in equal, thrilling measure. 

Sendak’s hands on his hips prevent him from pressing back against Sendak’s tongue, which was a travesty, because his tongue was almost as good as his cock, and he wanted absolutely  _ everything _ Sendak had to offer. (Everything except that terrifying softness.)

“Fuck me already!” Lotor demanded. He was  _ not _ begging. 

“I should leave you like this,” Sendak said, after swiping his tongue a final time across Lotor’s hole. 

It was probably a good thing Sendak was so strong, because he was the only thing keeping Lotor from sliding down the wall. 

Lotor glared over his shoulder. “You wouldn’t dare.” 

“You look so pretty like this, though.”

Lotor’s breath hitched, and he- he couldn’t come up with a response. He couldn’t even look at Sendak, so he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the wall. “ _ Please… _ ” 

And then Sendak was pressed against his back, mouth on his neck, teeth scoring his skin. “Of course, my prince.”

Lotor  _ wailed _ . That was the only word to describe it. Sendak was pushing all of his buttons, intentionally or not, and it was-

Sendak nipped his ear as he began pushing in, and he almost came from that alone. The fact that Sendak did not really give him time to adjust -no doubt part of his ‘lesson’- only ratcheted things up a notch, making him think he was going to combust. 

It helped that Sendak knew exactly what he was doing. Lotor couldn’t imagine he would have put up with him if he didn’t. He didn’t want to have to teach someone how to pleasure him; he wanted someone to take care of- 

_ Oh.  _ Oh _ no. _

Sendak slid one of his hands to Lotor’s stomach, warm and large and soft, but not quite where Lotor wanted it. He intertwined his fingers with Sendak’s, trying to guide his hand down, between his legs, to his cock. He was so close, he just needed a little-

Sendak bit at the nape of his neck, just hard enough to send shockwaves down his spine directly to his cock.

He came so hard his vision whited out for a solid minute, and even after that, he still couldn’t catch his breath. 

Sendak came shortly after him, and now he rested his forehead against Lotor’s shoulder, one hand still on Lotor’s hip. That was the only thing keeping Lotor’s knees from giving out completely.

He could have done nothing to stop Sendak guiding the both down to the floor, and, when Sendak pulled him into his lap, he didn’t definitely want to. 

It was nice. Sendak nuzzled the back of his neck, licking away a few drops of blood that had beaded up from where he’d bitten Lotor.

It was… terrifying; Lotor could almost pretend that Sendak might actually want him for him, and not because he was a convenient way to expel some of the excess energy his peak gave him. If anyone else was around, surely Sendak would never have looked at him twice.

No one ever did, and that was the place where Lotor was comfortable. This… He didn’t know what to do with this. 

Whatever this was. 

But it was nice, and if he could just stay here forever, as if the rest of the universe didn’t exist, then… 

“That was not exactly what I was fantasizing about,” Sendak said finally. 

“No?” Lotor asked, although he wasn’t exactly sure he wanted Sendak to elaborate. Surely, he was not the person Sendak had been fantasizing about; why would he be? And that was fine. He just didn’t want to hear about it. 

“No,” Sendak said, but he didn’t continue, just wrapped his arms a little tighter around Lotor’s waist.

It was so nice to be held so gently, without ill intent. Without pain or fear or anger. 

And it was so horrifying, so distressing, that no one else had ever been this kind to him, this gentle, this…

“Why?” He asked, and he knew his voice cracked and broke, but he didn’t care. Couldn’t care. He needed to know. “Why me? Why this?”

“Because I-“ Sendak said, then stopped himself. “You are...so strong, so brave, and I-“

“I’m not,” Lotor whispered. “I’m not, don’t lie to me, I can’t-“

“I would never lie to you,” Sendak said, so firmly that Lotor had no choice but to accept that as the truth. “I will never lie to you.” 

Lotor didn’t know how to respond.

“If words won’t convince you,” Sendak said finally, “then let me show you.”

He didn’t know what Sendak meant, exactly, but he did want that reassurance, even if it broke him apart. He nodded. 


	9. That’s Love, Bitch

Sendak picked Lotor up gently, so terribly gently, because it was so obvious now that no one had ever treated him tenderly, the way he deserved. And Sendak wanted to, so badly; he knew what this was, and maybe it was time to admit it to himself. He almost had, out loud, when Lotor asked, but he also knew that Lotor was suspicious and bitter and...afraid.

That was no surprise. Those closest to him had been complicit in harming him, one way or another, so it was difficult for him to let people in. 

Sendak would never hurt him. He just had to make sure Lotor knew that. 

He carried Lotor back to his quarters and laid him out on the bed, exactly as he’d wanted to do that first time, only this time Lotor’s back was healed and he was so much more pliant, willing to see what Sendak was going to do. 

Sendak stripped himself quickly, then worked on removing Lotor’s boots. Lotor watched, confused and maybe a bit anxious. 

Lotor had pulled his suit back up around his waist at some point, and now Sendak hooked a finger into it and looked up at Lotor’s face. “May I?”

Lotor nodded. He didn’t seem to be able to muster words right now, and Sendak couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or not. 

“We don’t have to,” he said, stroking Lotor’s waist in what he hoped was a comforting way. He wanted to protect Lotor from  _ everything _ , even himself if he had to. “Not if you don’t want to.”

Lotor swallowed. Nodded. “Show me,” he whispered. He was trembling already, like it was hard for him to hold still and let Sendak do as he pleased. Maybe it was; maybe Lotor had such a difficult time letting someone take care of him because no one ever had. 

Sendak pressed a kiss -gentle, light, barely-there -just above where his suit was bunched around his waist. It was only the first of many, Sendak hoped; he wanted his mouth on every inch of Lotor’s smooth, soft, taut skin. 

Lotor’s breath hitched.

Sendak slid his suit down over his hips, his thighs, his calves, all the way off. 

He was beautiful, Sendak realized. Not very Galra, but he was all  _ Lotor _ , and that was far more important. He hadn’t allowed himself to think that thought before, but it was true, had always been true. 

He wasn’t hard yet -he wasn’t in his peak anymore -so Sendak would have to do a little more work. But he didn’t mind; Lotor was worth it. 

He pressed a thumb into the arch of one of Lotor’s feet, holding his foot still with his other hand on his ankle, massaging. It was more sensual than erotic, but that was alright, too; he sensed that Lotor had never really tasted any of these physical pleasures, and he wanted to show him, teach him…

The tension melted out of Lotor, leaving him even more pliant than before, like he was letting himself enjoy this. 

And Sendak wanted -needed -Lotor to enjoy this. Desperately. 

He switched to his other foot, then began trailing his hands up Lotor’s legs. They seemed to go on for miles, long and lean, just like the rest of him. Sendak leaned down and pressed a kiss to the inside of Lotor’s knee, then more up his thigh, every move soft and deliberate. There was no point in startling Lotor, making him close off again. 

He mouthed at the crest of Lotor’s hip. Lotor made a soft sound, almost a moan, and Sendak nipped at his skin, just to see what he would do. 

Lotor shuddered out a breath, ragged and too hard. 

When Sendak looked, his head was tilted back and his eyes were clenched shut.  _ Beautiful _ . 

He nipped and licked and kissed his way up Lotor’s abdomen and chest, pausing to lavish attention on the mysterious scars there, until he got to Lotor’s neck. 

Lotor liked Sendak’s mouth on his neck; Sendak knew that. There were healing bite marks all over his neck to prove it. 

So he spent an inordinate amount of time mouthing at the smooth, soft skin of Lotor’s neck, feeling his pulse beat wildly under his tongue, listening to his breathy exhales. Lotor’s hands came up at one point to stroke and pull at Sendak’s fur, a good sign. 

Sendak...wanted to kiss him for real, on the lips, soft and deep, pouring everything he felt into it. He wasn’t sure Lotor would allow it, so he didn’t. 

Instead, he reached down between Lotor’s legs and found him half-hard; Lotor whined when Sendak began stroking his cock, achingly slow, trying to buck up into Sendak’s hand.

“Shh...let me take care of you,” Sendak murmured against Lotor’s neck. 

Lotor’s cock twitched in his hand, and he relaxed again. Nodded. 

When Lotor was fully hard again, Sendak sat back and shifted Lotor’s legs so he could fit into between them.

Lotor watched through hooded eyes, but he stayed still, letting Sendak arrange him however he liked. 

After a moment of consideration, Sendak lifted Lotor’s hips up and slid a pillow underneath them. “Ready?”

Lotor nodded, spreading his legs a little wider. A clear invitation. 

Sendak pressed another kiss to Lotor’s stomach, just below his navel. Then he lined himself up and slid in, slowly, even though Lotor was still open from earlier, making sure he felt every single ridge as they slid in. 

Lotor could be loud, sometimes, when he was actively trying to rile Sendak up, but he was quiet now, making only soft, breathy moans. 

This was somehow more real, more intimate than the rough sex had been. Not that it hadn’t been good; it had been, but Lotor seemed more...himself, like this. 

Sendak hitched Lotor’s thighs up around his waist, changing the angle, and began to thrust, still slow, but deep and hard, the way he knew Lotor liked it. 

And Lotor did like this: he was clutching the sheets with one hand so hard Sendak heard the fabric tear, and his other arm was thrown around Sendak’s neck, pulling him closer. His claws had extended at some point, and were digging into Sendak’s flesh, but he didn’t care. 

Sendak bit at the place under Lotor’s jaw that made him lose control, and sure enough, his back arched into it, and he panted heavily.

He still wanted to kiss him. It was a terrible idea. Lotor would never let him get close again. 

He bit Lotor’s other collarbone, giving him a matching set of scars. Just like before, Lotor pulled on his fur in retaliation. He probably shouldn’t be marking his prince up like this, but…

He felt the approach of his climax, and he did have to make sure Lotor came first, so his reached down between them again, and ran his thumb over the ridges on the underside of Lotor’s cock.

“This was what I was imagining earlier,” Sendak said. “I want you, Lotor, I want to take care of you, if you let me…” 

Lotor came with a silent sob, his eyes shut tightly, his head thrown back. Absolutely stunning. 

Lotor’s climax was enough to send Sendak over the edge, and he barely had the presence of mind to make sure he didn’t collapse directly on top of Lotor. 

Lotor had rolled away from him, and he was still shaking -in fact, shaking harder than he had been before -so Sendak put a hand on his shoulder. “Lotor?”

Lotor turned to look at him. Tears streamed down his face and he looked so  _ confused… _

“I don’t understand,” he said as evenly as he could. “I don’t-“

Sendak swallowed. “Lotor, I- I am...deeply, desperately, hopelessly… in love with you.”

“ _ Oh _ .” It was like all the breath had been knocked out of him as he sat up and buried his face in his hands. His shoulders shook with uncontrolled sobs.

Sendak sat up, too, and pulled Lotor closer, wrapping him in his arms, and just...let him cry. It was all he could do. 

Lotor tucked himself under Sendak’s chin, huddled up against him and as small as he could make himself, but eventually he did stop crying. 

“I understand,” Sendak began, because it needed to be said, “if you don’t feel the same way, and we don’t have to mention it ever again. It doesn’t have to change things between us. Or I can leave, if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“No!” Lotor seemed surprised by his own vehemence. “No,” he said, more quietly. “Please stay. I-“ He seemed to be unable to find the words he wanted, and instead he leaned up, cupped Sendak’s jaw with both hands and-

And it was everything Sendak had wanted. Lotor was clearly inexperienced, but that was alright -more than alright- because it was  _ Lotor _ , and Sendak wanted everything Lotor let him have. 

There were still tears shimmering in Lotor’s eyes when he pulled away, but he seemed...happier, when he spoke. “Stay,” he said again. “For as long as you want.”

“Forever, if you’ll have me.” 

Lotor laughed a little, breathlessly, and nodded. He kissed Sendak again, softer, less desperately. “If you’re lying,” he said, “I will kill you.”

“I will never lie to you,” Sendak said, repeating his promise from earlier. “I swear it.” 

* * *

“Sendak,” Lotor began, “if I never said...what you said, would you still…?”

“Love you?” Sendak asked. “Yes.” 

It was later, probably late into the night, but they’d been dozing off and on all evening, and now they were wide awake. Unwilling to get up to actually do anything, though. 

“Is it that simple?” Lotor asked. 

“It is for me. I...don’t expect anything from you, you know. I think I’d still love you if you told me that you hated me and never wanted to see me again.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“I know that.” 

Lotor stared down at his hands, picking at his claws. “I am...afraid,” he said finally. “Every good thing that comes my way is ultimately destroyed. And I can’t… I will not let my father take you away, too.”

Sendak glanced at Kova -who had been pawing and yelling at the door piteously enough that Lotor let him in -and Lotor sighed. “If Kova had not been my mother’s, I have no doubt some horrible fate would have befallen him, too.” He sheathed and unsheathed his claws a few times. “He only loves three things, as much as he can love, anyway: my mother, the Black Lion of Voltron, and power. He hates me because I am not my mother, and because I am the reason she’s dead, and he will do anything to make me feel a fraction of the pain he felt upon her death.” 

Sendak, who’d had a pretty good relationship with his parents until their deaths, could not relate. Instead, he intertwined his fingers with Lotor’s, in an effort to keep him from hurting himself. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said. “Even if you never tell me that you love me.”

“I do,” Lotor said quietly. “I do, so much it hurts sometimes, because I- it all has to come to an end, doesn’t it? And one day it will, and maybe some part of me thinks that by not saying it, maybe it won’t hurt quite so much. But I do. I want you to know that. And...thank you. For making it so simple.”

“Not everything has to be an ordeal,” Sendak said. “Some things can be easy. It doesn’t mean they’re worth any less.”

Lotor smiled, a little sadly. Most of his smiles were tinged with another emotion; Sendak wanted to see him smile just once out of pure joy, and he was going to make it happen. Somehow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this chapter wasn’t emotional enough for you, please consider that this is probably the first time someone told Lotor that they loved him.


	10. You Can’t Think With Your Dick All The Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a little bit of briefly implied past sexual assault, not occurring between Sendak and Lotor. There’s nothing graphic, but I thought you guys might like a heads up, just in case.

Things were going...well. Really well. Lotor couldn’t remember being happier in his life, and while that scared him, he was more inclined, for right now at least, to just...enjoy it. He was free for the first time, loved for the first time…

One morning, early, he woke up well before Sendak, and he just...relaxed. Luxuriated in the feeling of Sendak’s warmth, the softness of his fur.

He could have this. For now, at least. And if, one day, he had to fight for it -as he’d had to fight for everything else -then he would. 

He wriggled out of Sendak’s arms and reached for his drawing pad and stylus. He hadn’t felt like sketching in some time, but something about the simplistic perfection of this moment drove him to preserve it. 

He started with Kova; he’d drawn Kova a lot over the years, since he was always willing to sit still while Lotor drew him. 

Other than Kova, he didn’t usually draw living things, preferring landscapes or even technical diagrams and schematics, but today he wanted to draw Sendak, trap and hold this moment so he could keep it forever. 

He’d just finished the rough sketch when Sendak woke up. He looked slightly put-out that Lotor was not where he should be- wrapped in his arms and safely curled up against his chest -and it was so terribly endearing that Lotor laughed and kissed him. “Good morning.”

“Are you...drawing?” Sendak asked.

“One of my many hidden talents,” Lotor said. “Would you like to see?”

Sendak nodded, then sat up and pulled Lotor closer so he could look over Lotor’s shoulder. “These are...really good.”

Lotor shrugged. “I was ill a lot as a child, and I had to do something while I was laid up in the medical unit.”

Sendak nuzzled his neck. “Would you have been an artist, if you could have been anything you wanted?”

“Maybe. Or an engineer, or an explorer, or…” Lotor laughed. “There were so many things I wanted to do.”

“We have time now,” Sendak said. “No responsibilities. No duties. No obligations. We could go anywhere, see anything, do anything.”

“It’s a big universe,” Lotor sighed. “I wouldn’t know where to start.”

“We’ll have to leave the facility and resupply first.”

“Yes, someone has been eating all my rations,” Lotor teased. “But then...then we’ll see everything the universe has to offer.”

* * *

They didn’t really talk about love, and that was fine. Love was...complicated. Feelings, in general, were complicated. 

They waited until Sendak’s peak was over before leaving the research facility. His head would be clearer now, and he would be far less likely to attack anyone who looked at Lotor the wrong way. 

Not that Lotor wouldn’t enjoy watching that happen. It just wouldn’t help anything, either, except maybe Lotor’s libido, and you couldn’t go around thinking with your dick all the time. 

He kind of wished that he’d spent less time actively disliking Sendak back at Central Command. He would have liked to have had someone to stand up for him, back then, because sometimes…

He mentioned it casually to Sendak, as they were readying to depart the facility. 

“What do you mean?” Sendak asked. 

Lotor shrugged. “Oh. You know,” he said vaguely. “I...was an easy target for some. They learned their lessons.”

“Who?” Sendak demanded, and he was angry, but that anger was not directed at Lotor. “And what did they-?”

“It’s not important. I dealt with it.”

“Lotor…” 

Lotor crossed his arms. “When I was nineteen, a Lieutenant accosted me in the hallway late one night. He...told me that I was...Well. It doesn’t matter. He thought I would be fun to play with -his words- and he found out otherwise. A few months later, he was assigned to a dangerous combat mission he was not qualified for, and he was killed in action.”

“And I suppose you had no hand in that.”

“Not one that you could prove,” Lotor said with a razor-sharp grin. “But that was the worst of it.”

“If it was anyone else, they wouldn’t have gotten away with it. They would have been stripped of their rank and thrown out on their asses. Why didn’t you-?”

Lotor shrugged again. “It doesn’t matter. I dealt with it, and eventually people learned to leave me be.”

“Lotor…” Sendak stepped closer to him and titled his chin up. “You didn’t deserve to go through that. You shouldn’t have. If you had told me…”

“Even then?”

“Well, not when you were nineteen. I would have been...fifteen? Sixteen? But, yes, even before, I would have… I would have taken care of it for you. You were my prince then, just as you are now.”

Lotor turned his head so he could kiss Sendak’s palm. “It really doesn’t matter anymore. They are all long dead. But I...appreciate the sentiment.”

“I will protect you,” Sendak said. “I will.”

“You don’t know how much that means to me.” 

* * *

It was late, and the ship was on auto-pilot. An alarm would go off if something required attention, but for now, Lotor was content to curl up next to Sendak.

“You lowered the temperature,” Sendak accused.

“The computer systems run more efficiently at lower temperatures,” Lotor said, his voice muffled against Sendak’s chest. 

“You know that you don’t need an excuse to cuddle.”

“But I have one anyway. Besides, it must be more comfortable for you now.”

“...Yes,” Sendak admitted. “But I don’t want you to catch cold, either.”

“You’ll just have to keep me warm, then.”

Sendak laughed and kissed the top of his head. “You’re never going to want to get out of bed at this rate.”

“Oh no. You’ve caught onto my nefarious plan.” He rubbed his cheek against Sendak’s fur. It was an instinctive action -he didn’t really have a scent of his own -but he liked the idea of marking Sendak as his. 

Sendak purred. He’d been doing it more and more, which pleased Lotor. It was such a private, intimate thing, reserved almost exclusively for family and romantic partners. 

Lotor had thought he’d never get to experience anything like this. He hadn’t imagined that anyone would want him, but Sendak did. He did, and it meant more than Lotor could say. 


	11. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is sort of a transitional chapter. Basically just snippets over the course of ten years as Lotor and Sendak galavant around the universe, living their best lives. A little bit of fluff before we get back to the angst :)

Sendak watched with narrowed eyes as Lotor leaned forward seductively towards the merchant he was speaking with. 

It was just harmless, insincere flirting -he knew Lotor well enough by now to tell -but. 

It still irritated him, on some deep level, and he suspected that was why Lotor did it in the first place. More than that, he suspected Lotor only did this when he knew Sendak was watching.

Not because he enjoyed irritating Sendak, but because he knew what Sendak was going to do the moment they had some privacy.  _ Brat _ . 

Sendak really should stop indulging him like that. 

Lotor smiled at the merchant, then pulled Sendak away; Sendak, who had not been paying any attention whatsoever to the conversation, was a little startled, but he recovered enough to glare down at Lotor. 

“Must you always do that?”

“You like the aftermath as much as I do,” Lotor replied.

It was true, but it also wasn’t the point. “One of these days, someone is going to think that you’re serious, and what are you going to do then?”

“Fortunately for me, I seem to have an overprotective bodyguard following me around, making sure I don’t get myself into too much trouble.” He sighed melodramatically. “ At least he’s handsome.” 

It really was a good thing Sendak loved him. He couldn’t imagine putting up with him otherwise. Well, he could, because Lotor was his prince, first and foremost, but he’d think about strangling him at least twice a week. 

Ah, love. 

Still, the playful side of Lotor’s personality had come out in full force over the past few months, and Sendak assumed that meant that Lotor was getting comfortable with him. Good; he wanted Lotor to feel safe around him. Safe and loved, even if he was a brat sometimes. 

“When we get back to the ship,” Sendak murmured, “I am going to fuck you so hard that you can’t walk straight for a  _ week _ .” 

Lotor grinned, the one that was half seduction, half challenge. “Promises, promises.”

* * *

Lotor studied the ancient cave paintings in front of him. He knew the story they told: a meteor of some kind, falling from the sky. It could be a metaphor of some kind, or perhaps, with some searching, he might find the impact site.

The people had died out, long ago, apparently, as the planet was currently uninhabited by intelligent life. 

There was nothing else in the cave, and he’d studied the paintings long enough. He walked back out, to the little campsite he and Sendak had assembled. 

It wasn’t much, just a fire and a platform to sleep on, but they didn’t need much, really. The planet was currently temperate, with mild weather, and if they really needed to, they could take shelter in the ship.

Sendak had had some success hunting, based on the medium-sized six-legged creature spitted over the fire. It smelled good already. 

Lotor sat down next to him, resting his head on his shoulder. “Will it be done soon?” Most Galra could eat raw meat with few consequences, but he wasn’t one of them. 

“I think so,” Sendak said. “It’s been a while since the last time I did this.”

“You’ve done this before?”

“My mother took me hunting sometimes, when she had leave,” Sendak replied. “We’d spend a day or two on some sparsely-populated planet, like this, and we’d eat whatever we caught.” 

“Sounds nice,” Lotor said, because it was clear that Sendak had fond memories of his parents, that they had loved him. He wished he could have had that for himself, but somehow, just hearing Sendak talk about his childhood was...enough. 

Sendak kissed the top of Lotor’s head. “I think they would have liked you,” he said quietly. “Your tenacity, your intelligence …”

Lotor couldn’t put into words just exactly how much that meant to him, so he took Sendak’s hand in his and squeezed, gently. Sendak squeezed back. 

* * *

Sendak traced the scars on Lotor’s chest. They were faint, but still raised enough that he could follow them without looking. 

It was strange, because as far as Sendak knew, Lotor had never been in combat, or even a serious altercation with anyone, so there was no reason for him to have these scars. 

“What are these from?” He asked finally.

“Hm?” Lotor responded sleepily. “Oh… Surgical scars.” Like it was no big deal.

“When did you have surgery!?”

Lotor sighed and finally opened his eyes. He turned over so he could face Sendak a little better. “I told you I was ill frequently as a child.” 

“Lotor, there’s a big difference between being ill and requiring surgery.”

”Hm.” He didn’t say anything for a moment, then sighed again. “I was told that because I was a half-breed, there was something wrong with my...genetics, I suppose, that prevented my heart from forming normally. As a result, I had several surgeries while I was a child in order to correct the physical deformities. But that was years ago.”

“And you’re better now?”

“For now. Half-breeds are...rare, though I’ve heard they are becoming more common, despite certain… Anyway, most half-breeds die as infants or young children, so they don’t really know too much about them. It was only my father’s goodwill that kept me alive long enough to reach adulthood.”

Sendak had not considered that there would be long-term health implications associated with being a half-breed. Why would he have, before Lotor? He didn’t know what to say, now.

“Are you…?”

“Healthy? Yes. For now.” Lotor stretched, then curled closer to Sendak. “They expect me to live a normal life-span now that I’ve made it past twenty, but…” He paused again, thoughtfully. “Well. Kova’s outlived his normal life-span, hasn’t he? Who knows what effect the Rift that ultimately caused the destruction of Daibazaal will have?”

It was something else Sendak had not considered. “What do you mean?”

“I’ll explain later,” Lotor said, nuzzling Sendak’s neck. “For now, I want to sleep.” 

Sendak nuzzled the top of Lotor’s head and closed his eyes. 

 

* * *

Lotor sat bolt upright, panting, unable to catch his breath.

Unfamiliar stars wheeled overhead, and it took him a moment to remember why that was, why he wasn’t back in the medical unit, or his quarters at Central Command, or…

”Lotor?” Sendak asked sleepily, one eye open. It glowed yellow in the low light of the dying fire. 

“I-“ Lotor began. The dream was already fading from his mind. That didn’t make his heart beat any slower, though. “I had a dream,” he said finally. 

Sendak pulled him back down, holding him close. “A bad one?” He guessed, although it wasn’t like that was such a hard thing to guess; most of Lotor’s dreams were bad, whether they woke him or not. 

“I think so,” Lotor said. “I don’t remember.” 

Sendak rubbed his back comfortingly. He didn’t always know what to say, but you didn’t always need to say something. Sometimes just a gentle and kind touch was enough. 

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” Lotor said finally, apologetically. 

“I know, it’s alright,” Sendak soothed.

”I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I don’t mind. Whatever you need, remember?”

Lotor nodded. It was hard to believe, sometimes, even though Sendak had been telling him that for years. But he always meant it, and that was…

”Thank you,” Lotor said.

Sendak kissed his forehead. “Are you ready to go back to sleep, or do you want to stay up?”

Lotor yawned, then smiled ruefully. “I guess that answers that.” He curled even closer to Sendak and fell asleep listening to the steady beat of his heart. 

* * *

~~~~

Sendak paced back and forth in his quarters. He was restless, for some reason, and Lotor had wanted a little time for himself -reasonable; eventually you did get a little tired of someone if you spent months at a time alone with them -so here he was. 

The restlessness was probably due to the fact that this was where he was keeping...certain...items...he’d procured over the years, and now he had to confront them.

They didn’t usually even use these quarters, anymore, as they spent most nights in Lotor’s rooms, since they were larger and had a bigger bed. Not that they couldn’t fit comfortably in this bed, but-

He’d realized what he was doing half-way through buying the second dagger; he bought it anyway.

He didn’t know if these gifts would be accepted, and anyway, he wanted to be able to court Lotor properly, and that meant…

He’d either have to ask  _ Zarkon _ , or find a heretofore unknown relative of Lotor’s to ask. 

And he didn’t even know if Lotor would accept. Oh sure, they’d been in an informal sort of relationship for years now, but that didn’t mean Lotor would want to formalize it. 

And he was a prince; there might be some expectation for him to marry for diplomatic reasons, and not love. 

Because Lotor did love him, even if he hadn’t said it. He showed it, in a thousand small ways, and Sendak treasured each one. 

But he wanted the whole universe to know that he was Lotor’s, and Lotor was his. 

Maybe he should just  _ ask _ Lotor if he wanted to be courted properly, if he wanted to marry. 

But then, Sendak’s parents had been very traditional, and a large part of him rebelled at the idea of disregarding custom so blatantly. Especially custom as important as this. 

They’d been together for nearly ten years now; surely, by now, Lotor would have said something if he didn’t intend for this to be...a more permanent arrangement? 

He knew Lotor wouldn’t make the first move; sometimes, he still needed reassurance that Sendak actually did want him in the first place. 

Maybe this would prove that Sendak intended to stay by his side. 

The door chime sounded. He found Lotor looking pale and distraught. 

“What is it?” 

Lotor swallowed. “We’ve… I’ve been recalled to Central Command. There’s also a message for you. I didn’t read it, but it- It’s from my father.” 


	12. Child Abuse Is No Joke

Some part of him had hoped that this day would never come. But that was too much to ask for, and Lotor knew that.

Still, why did it have to be  _ now _ ? After ten glorious, happy years, seeing everything he wanted to see, doing everything he wanted to do. 

_ Should you choose to bring me my disappointment of a son’s head, you will be reinstated with full honors, as if the last ten years never happened.  _

__ As if the last ten years never happened. 

He watched Sendak read the message, once, twice, three times, watched his ears lay flat in anger. 

He knew Sendak would never hurt him, but he couldn’t stop himself from taking a step back when Sendak finally turned around to face him. 

Thankfully, Sendak stayed where he was, giving Lotor his space. 

He was angry, but not at Lotor, and he had never raised a hand against Lotor -except on the training deck, where there were rules and expectations and never, ever the intent to inspire fear -but Lotor was still…

“I will never harm you,” Sendak said quietly, firmly. “Not for anything.” 

“I know,” Lotor said, but his back was against the wall, and he glanced towards the door, searching for escape, an old habit he’d forgotten over the last ten years, but now- “He’s…” He swallowed. “He’s trying to pit us against each other. He wants to know which of us is stronger.”

“We’re stronger together,” Sendak said. He remained on the far side of the cockpit, but Lotor could tell he wanted to be closer.

Lotor wanted him closer, too, but it would only make this panic worse. He nodded. “He can’t know.”

Sendak nodded. He didn’t like it, but they had discussed it before. It was safer if no one knew, for both of them. “Do you know what he wants?”

“He didn’t say.” Of course he didn’t; he wanted Lotor afraid and off-balance. “But I can’t refuse to go.”

“No,” Sendak agreed. He seemed to consider something for a long, long time, and then unclipped his sword from his belt and knelt, holding it out in front of him. “This sword was my mother’s, and her father’s, and his father’s, all the way back for generations. It is yours to command.” 

“ _ Oh _ .” It was something Sendak would have said years ago, when he turned twenty-five and was given his first posting. An oath sworn before the emperor. “I’m not…”

“You are my prince,” Sendak said, “and one day you will be my emperor.”

“You can’t know that.” 

“I know  _ you _ .” 

“Then…” And it felt like treason to say it, but he needed to, and anyway… “Then may you serve me honorably and valiantly.” 

Sendak waited, so patiently, a patience Lotor didn’t deserve, for Lotor to push himself away from the wall. Only then did he stand and reattach his sheathed sword to his belt. “No matter what happens, I will protect you to the best of my abilities. I will not allow any harm to come to you.”

Lotor swallowed. He knew Sendak would  _ try _ . It might end disastrously, for both of them. It probably would end disastrously. Still, the sentiment meant a lot. “Thank you,” he said. He stepped close enough for Sendak to embrace him, and he did, holding Lotor protectively. 

“I love you,” Sendak said. “No matter what happens, remember that.”

“I know. I will.” 

* * *

It would take almost two days from their current location to get to Central Command, and that was about a day and a half too many. Lotor had no idea what to expect, so his mind went into overdrive, trying to come up with every possible scenario and how to respond to it. 

It would have been better to just get it over with. No plan, but you couldn’t make a plan without knowing more, and trying to figure out what might happen based on nothing but his own anxiety was only making him more anxious. 

Finally, Sendak had had enough; he knew Lotor well enough to know when he was driving himself to distraction. 

Which was why he was here, reclining against Sendak’s chest, instead of in the cockpit or the training deck or anywhere else. 

“I don’t want to go,” Lotor said. 

“I know. I don’t want to, either.” He nuzzled the side of Lotor’s neck, and Lotor tilted his head to one side to allow him better access. 

“It’s not fair! Couldn’t he have just left us alone? We weren’t  _ doing _ anything! If only we could just...disappear, to some faraway galaxy…” 

“We could,” Sendak murmured. “I’d follow you anywhere.”

Lotor sighed. “I know that. But he’d only come after us. After me. And he wouldn’t stop. So I have to… I have to do this. And I have to win. I can’t be under his thumb anymore.”

“You’re brave,” Sendak said quietly. “So incredibly brave. Everyone else is afraid of him, with good reason, but not you…”

“I am afraid,” Lotor said. “I’m terrified of him. He wants me to be afraid, and I am.”

“And despite that, we’re going anyway. Confronting the thing you fear the most. That’s courage.”

Lotor shrugged. “He’d only hunt us down if we didn’t, and that would be far worse. Better to just...get it over with. And...I will be less afraid, with you at my side.” 

Sendak kissed the tip of his ear. “I...have something for you,” he said, a little hesitantly. He reached with one arm over to the side table and retrieved something.

He pressed it into Lotor’s hands. It was a short, thin dagger -more of a poniard, really -made of some strong, pale material. 

“I got it while we were on Mearus,” Sendak said. “It’s made of the bones of one of the native animals there, so it won’t set off any weapons detectors, and it should be small enough to hide under your armor. It won’t hold up in a prolonged fight, but as a weapon of last resort…”

Precious few were allowed to be armed in the presence of the emperor, and Lotor wasn’t one of them. This...this would allow him the comfort of knowing he wasn’t completely disarmed.

“It’s beautiful,” he said. “Thank you.” Then he frowned. “We were on Mearus two years ago.” 

“...Yes.” 

“I’m going to assume that you were saving this for a special occasion.” Lotor carefully placed the dagger on the side table. “But thank you. I really do appreciate this.”

“I’m glad. I hope it serves you well.” 

“Just as you do?” Lotor teased. 

“As if anyone or anything could serve you as well as I do,” Sendak said with mock-offense. 

Lotor turned in his lap so he could reach up and pull Sendak’s face down for a kiss. “Make me forget where we’re going, Sendak. Just for a few minutes.”

“As my prince commands,” Sendak said.


	13. Not As Subtle As You Could Have Been

Nothing happened for the first week after they arrived at Central Command. Lotor wasn’t surprised, but he was restless, especially since he’d deemed it too dangerous for them to spend too much time together. 

That didn’t stop Sendak from sneaking into Lotor’s rooms late at night, and then sneaking back to his own rooms before first shift began. Lotor didn’t tell him to stop, and that was basically tacit permission from Lotor. About this, at least. 

Lotor did grumble when Sendak had to leave in the morning, if Sendak woke him up; he did his best to avoid it, but Lotor was going through a period of very light sleeping. 

That was probably the stress of being here. 

Sendak would do anything to remove that burden from Lotor’s shoulders, but there was nothing he could do. Just be here, with him. 

It was very early, and he should leave, sneak back to his own rooms and get another hour or so of sleep, if he could, to make the bed look slept in, before the day began in earnest. 

He didn’t want to. Lotor tried to hide how stressed he was, but Sendak saw through him; you didn’t spend ten years basically alone with someone without learning their tells. Right now, he was sleeping peacefully, looking almost content, curled up against Sendak’s chest where he could so easily protect him. 

He made a small sound in his sleep, and one of his ears flicked. 

Sendak’s heart was not equipped to handle this. Lotor was just so small and cute? Especially like this. 

Lotor’s breathing changed. “You’re still here,” he said without opening his eyes. He nestled closer to Sendak. “Mm...wish you could stay forever.” 

“So do I,” Sendak said. He allowed himself another minute of just holding Lotor as he woke up. 

Just as he was about to start disentangling Lotor, the door chime sounded. 

Lotor sprang up, cursing under his breath. “Hide,” he hissed, jerking his head at the bathroom door. 

It would work. Sendak didn’t think they searched Lotor’s quarters (although, if they did, Lotor probably wouldn't have mentioned it anyway).

He felt a little ridiculous hiding in the bathroom like some young cadet who was trying to avoid getting caught out after curfew, but this could potentially be life-or-death. 

Whoever was at the door said something, but they were too quiet for Sendak to make out the words. 

“Sendak? No, I haven’t seen him. Have you tried the training decks?” Lotor said smoothly to whomever was at the door. “I’ll let him know when next I see him.”

Then the door slid shut again, and Lotor rapped on the bathroom door. 

“What did they want?” Sendak asked. He sat down on the bed and watched Lotor change into his armor. 

“We’re being summoned. Apparently, you weren’t in your quarters this morning, and they didn’t know where you could possibly be.” He threw a grin over his shoulder. “Next time, maybe I should tell them you slipped out to a bordello.”

Sendak snorted. “Please. I was the most upright out of everyone in my cohort. They wouldn’t believe you.”

”Even the most strait-laced need to blow off some steam. If I’m not mistaken, you’re only a week or so out from your peak. They’d believe that.”

“Are you keeping track of my cycles now?”

”We’ve synced up.” Lotor bent down to kiss him. “Close quarters and all that.” He raised an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me you didn’t notice?”

He hadn’t, really, even after ten years. Somehow. He changed the subject. “I really should go. I need to dress for our audience.”

Lotor sighed. “I know. Be careful, and don’t get caught.” He slipped the bone dagger into a hidden fold of his armor.

Sendak stood and kissed him. “I love you, Lotor.”

“I know.” Lotor smiled, a fond smile reserved only for Sendak. “I’ll meet you outside the throne room.” He kissed Sendak on the cheek and sent him on his way.

* * *

Lotor was already waiting by the time Sendak got to the throne room’s antechamber. He looked good in his armor -it suited him well -but Sendak could tell that he was anxious.

Probably no one else could; Lotor was good at hiding his emotions. 

Sendak would have liked to kiss Lotor, or hold his hand, or anything else to ease some of that anxiety, but there were attendants and servants and sentries watching already, waiting for Lotor to reveal something that they could use to gain favor with Zarkon. 

“My prince,” he said, formally. 

Lotor nodded, just once, and then he handed his sword over, for Sendak to give to the attendants. Sendak handed over his sword as well. 

The sensors did not detect the bone dagger Lotor had tucked away in his armor, just as Sendak had hoped. Lotor’s shoulders relaxed, just a little, almost imperceptibly. 

He followed Lotor into the throne room, several steps behind him, as was proper and respectful. And also… Lotor liked knowing that someone had his back. It would be easy, in the vast throne room, for someone to sneak up behind him, catch him unaware, but Sendak would prevent that from happening. 

Sendak knelt when Lotor knelt, still several paces behind him, on one knee with his hand over his heart and head bowed, not looking up at Zarkon. 

“My Lord Father,” Lotor began. There was no waver in his voice, which impressed Sendak, because he knew exactly how much Lotor feared and hated his father. 

Zarkon...ignored him. “Sendak. Finally, you have returned to us. Please, come forward.” 

It wasn’t like Sendak had a choice, as much as he would have preferred to not do that. Officers and nobles lined the room, watching and waiting and whispering. Laughing behind their hands at this slight against Lotor, and Sendak hated it.

He rose smoothly anyway, stepped forward until he was almost at the base of the dais upon which Zarkon’s throne sat. 

The witch was there, watching -always watching -and her presence alone unsettled Sendak, for some reason he could not quite name. 

“Sire,” Sendak said. 

“You parents served the empire honorably and well. It would be a shame if their son did not follow in their footsteps.”

Sendak swallowed. “Sire?”

“The Empire must continue its expansion if we are to survive,” Zarkon said. “To that end, we have set our sights on a number of systems that we wish to bring under our control. I think that the campaign against Nestuna will be a suitable challenge for someone of your illustrious lineage.”

Was he suggesting what Sendak thought he was suggesting? “It would be an honor, Sire, but I-“

An attendant presented his own sword back to him, and Sendak blinked. He hadn’t even noticed their approach. 

“You should have sworn your oath to me years ago,” Zarkon said, again making no mention of  _ why _ that was, “so you will do so now.”

Sendak nodded, a little dazed, and knelt, taking the sword. His mother’s sword. Gods, what would she think about this? “This sword was my mother’s, and her father’s, and his father’s, all the way back for many generations. It is yours to command, your majesty.” 

The same oath he had sworn to Lotor. He didn’t like this, swearing an oath falsely and under pretense. Still, he would honor the oath he’d made to Lotor above all others, and Lotor knew that. 

He hoped Lotor knew that. 

“May you serve me honorably and valiantly, Commander Sendak.” He waved a hand, a dismissal. “There are a great deal of preparations to be made before the campaign may commence.”

Sendak rose and reattached his sword to his belt. 

Lotor still knelt, his jaw set, staring holes into the floor. Angry and upset, but unwilling to let anyone see it. 

“You’re all dismissed,” Zarkon said as Sendak approached the doors. 

The whispers rose again, no doubt in commentary of Zarkon’s refusal to even acknowledge his own son. 

Lotor caught up to Sendak in the corridor. “Commander.”

They weren’t quite alone yet. “Your Highness.”

“Congratulations on your promotion,” Lotor said neutrally. 

Sendak didn’t have to look to know that Lotor was barely holding himself together. “It was an unexpected honor.”

“As long as you remember your oaths, I am sure you will succeed in whatever you put your mind to.”

“I have been told that I am a man of honor.” It was strange and uncomfortable to talk in this stilted manner to Lotor, of all people, the man he loved. But it was necessary, especially now. 

Lotor checked the corridor outside his rooms, then ushered Sendak inside. 

He didn’t speak as he shut and locked the door, or even as he began stripping out of his armor.

Sendak decided to do the same; Lotor would surely need comfort of some sort after that, and armor would only get in the way. 

He stacked all the pieces neatly, and had just stepped out of his boots when Lotor made an angry, wordless sound.

Sendak turned to see Lotor sitting in a heap on the floor, tangled in his armor, angry, out-of-sorts, and crying. He’d been shaking so hard he couldn’t manage the catches, apparently. 

Sendak knelt down next to him and held him. 

Lotor clung to him, still shaking violently. “Why doesn’t he love me?” He whispered brokenly. “What did I do?”

“Shh,” Sendak soothed. “You’ve done nothing wrong. You’re perfect the way you are.”

“Then  _ why _ ?” 

“I don’t know,” Sendak admitted. “But that’s on him. Not you.” 

Lotor nodded, though he was still trembling, and he had pressed his face into Sendak’s shoulder, so he was probably still crying, too. 

Sendak stroked his hair and let him cry. His own father had been a good man and a good father, so he couldn’t really imagine how Lotor felt. But he could be here for Lotor. 

“Promise you’ll come back,” Lotor whispered finally. “Don’t let him send you off to die.”

“I will come back,” Sendak promised. “I will. Whatever it takes.” He kissed the top of Lotor’s head. 

Eventually, Lotor let him help him out of his armor. He had stopped crying, but he was still shaking, and his hands were cold, so Sendak ran him a hot bath.

“I’ll be right back,” Sendak said. “Will you be alright?”

“I’m fine,” Lotor grumbled, as he usually did after something unfortunate happened. He sank a little further into the tub, almost up to his chin. “But don’t be gone too long.”

“Of course not, Lotor.”

The corner’s of Lotor’s mouth upturned, just slightly, and if Sendak hadn’t been watching for it, he wouldn’t have noticed. Lotor closed his eyes and tilted his head back. “Go, so you can come back.”

Sendak leaned down to kiss him, and then left. 

* * *

He returned quickly, both because Lotor had asked him to and because he didn’t want to leave Lotor alone with his thoughts for too long right now. 

Lotor was still in the bath, but he did open one eye when Sendak stuck his head into the bathroom. 

“I got us a meal,” Sendak said. 

Lotor nodded, sighed, then began to push himself up. 

“I have something for you,” Sendak said, handing Lotor a towel. 

Lotor rubbed himself down quickly. “Oh?”

Sendak produced the robe he’d acquired on Zebrion six years ago. This was one of the first things he’d gotten for Lotor.

Zebrion was a cold planet, and the natives harvested the hair of one of their herd animals and spun it into yarn, which they used to make clothing suitable for the climate. The resulting fabric was one of the softest and warmest  things Sendak had ever felt.

Lotor slipped it on, then looked down with wide eyes. “ _ Oh… _ This is very nice.” He rubbed the cuff of one sleeve between his fingers. “I’m never taking this off.”

Sendak laughed at the mental image of Lotor doing… Lotor things in nothing but the robe. It was slightly too big for him, and almost trailed on the floor. “You’re very cute,” he said in response to Lotor’s pout. 

“It’s very warm,” Lotor told him. “Thank you.” He looked like he was about to say something else, but then he just shook his head. “I suppose we should eat while the food is still warm.”

They didn’t usually eat in bed -they both had a thing about crumbs in the sheets -but today, by unspoken agreement, they did, with Lotor reclining against Sendak’s chest. 

It was certainly one of Sendak’s favorite ways to sit, because he could wrap his arms around Lotor’s waist and kiss his neck with ease. 

“I know what you’re doing,” Lotor said quietly, after several minutes of comfortable quiet. 

Sendak, who had been nuzzling Lotor’s neck, made a confused sound. 

“With the gifts,” Lotor clarified. “I know you’re trying to court me. It’s...unnecessary.”

“I want to,” Sendak said. 

“I’m already yours in every way that matters. If you asked…” He sighed, rubbed his cheek against Sendak’s shoulder. “If you asked, I’d say yes.”

“You deserve to be courted properly. I would do every ritual if I could, but I can’t. So let me do this for you.”

“I never thought anyone would want to,” Lotor said. “Not for me. I’d be fine without it. You don’t have to go through the trouble…”

“It’s no trouble at all, if it’s you. I love you, Lotor. Please, let me court you properly, the way you deserve, and when you are ready, if you ever are, then we will marry.”

Lotor sighed again. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way. I wish you could ask my father for permission to court me, and I wish that he wouldn’t then try to use it against us, and I wish…” He took one of Sendak’s hands in both of his. “When my father is dead, I will marry you. If you are willing to wait.”

“For you? Of course. As long as it takes.” 


	14. Lotor’s Thirst Overcomes His Common Sense

Unfortunately, as much as Lotor would have liked to, they couldn’t spend their time holed up in his quarters. 

They weren’t free here, as they had been out in space, far away from everything. 

Sendak had responsibilities now that he’d been promoted to Commander, and not only that, since his promotion had not followed the usual pathways, he’d have to fight to prove himself at every turn.

Lotor sympathized. He knew what that was like. 

And they could only spend so much time together before it became suspicious. 

It wouldn’t have been so bad, but Sendak was the only person he trusted in Central Command. The only person he didn’t have to watch his every word and move with. The only one that he could be reasonably sure wouldn’t turn on him if the opportunity arose. 

The last ten years were a cruel interlude, because he’d had a taste of what life could be like, and now it was back to the way it was before, but so much worse for having had a glimpse of freedom. 

It didn’t help that they would both enter their peaks soon. It hadn’t been a problem over the last ten years: they’d either spent them on the ship or in a remote location on some faraway planet. And while Lotor’s cycle had been completely unpredictable before, he’d been synced up with Sendak for several years now, and having a normal ebb-and-flow of hormones and a partner seemed to make it actually enjoyable.

Now, though… Now, everyone wanted Sendak’s attention. They could smell the early phases of his peak on him, smell how virile he was…

Lotor couldn’t, unless his nose was pressed right up under Sendak’s jaw or against his throat, but he knew it was there. 

It wasn’t that he was jealous. Only, Sendak was  _ his _ , and if anyone so much as  _ looked _ at him…

Of course everyone wanted to spend their peak with Sendak. Who wouldn’t? He was a more than suitable partner, handsome and strong and robust. Even a few female Galra eyed him, and usually they had to be courted before they would even consider spending a peak with a male. 

Lotor stopped himself from growling, though it was a close thing. It wasn’t  _ his _ fault Sendak had chosen him, above all of these corporals and cadets. 

Someone had challenged Sendak to a duel -it wasn’t a serious matter, and the duel wouldn't be to the death -and he fought now, easily, making his challenger yield in a matter of minutes. 

Only more proof that Sendak would be a good partner. Lotor knew that.  _ Everyone _ knew that. A protector and provider, strong and diligent and loyal...

But he was Lotor’s, and Lotor was his, and if anyone tried to come between them, Lotor would rip their throat out with his teeth. 

“Impressive, Commander,” Lotor said, stepping away from the wall where’d he been watching, unseen. “But would you like a real challenge?”

The previous challenger looked offended, but Lotor didn’t care; the corporal could challenge him, too, if he wanted, and the result would be the same. 

Sendak hadn’t noticed Lotor enter the deck, but he hid his surprise well. “Of course, your highness.” He bowed, and something about that made Lotor’s heart skip a beat.

Lotor stepped into the cleared center of the training deck. This was not his first duel, and it probably wouldn’t be his last, but it was the first where he wouldn’t fear the outcome. Whether he won or lost… Sendak would never hurt him. Not in any way that went beyond the rules of the training deck. 

He grinned and drew his sword. “Are you ready so soon after your last bout, Commander? Or will you need time to recover?”

“With all due respect, your highness, I am ready whenever you are.”

The duel commenced with the clash of crossed swords. It wasn’t a real duel; Lotor hadn’t challenged Sendak in any meaningful way, and there was nothing riding on the outcome. 

Only… He did have to prove, to everyone, to himself, that he was Sendak’s equal, despite his stature and his mixed blood. This was a ritual going back as far as the Galra people, from the dawn of their history.

And if Sendak meant to court him properly, then this, too, must be observed. 

Oh, there were words that were supposed to be spoken, permissions asked and granted, but the words didn’t really matter; intent mattered. Actions mattered. 

He saw the exact moment when Sendak realized what he was doing. He took a step back, almost to the edge of the circle, and his eyes widened minutely, then narrowed. 

The spectators had no clue. That much Lotor was sure of. He was always aware of his surroundings, mid-duel or not, and he would have noticed if the tone of their whispers and cheers changed.

No one cheered for him, and that was fine; no one ever had, and he didn’t need them to. 

Sendak managed to disarm him, sending his sword clattering across the floor, and he ended up on the floor, with Sendak on top of him, the flat of his sword pressing against Lotor’s neck. 

“Yield,” Sendak demanded. 

Lotor smiled, flicked his eyes down to where his hand was in between their chests, the bone dagger angled so that it would pierce Sendak’s heart with just a flick of his wrist. “You first.” 

An impromptu judge stepped forward, studied the situation. “It’s a draw,” she said, almost disbelievingly. Perhaps she couldn’t believe it. It wasn’t that Sendak was impossible to beat; just, no one thought  _ Lotor _ could get this far. 

But he had, and everyone here had seen it. By the end of the day, all of Central Command would know. 

Sendak’s ears flicked once, and then he pulled himself up and offered a hand to help Lotor up. Lotor took it, although he didn’t need to. He slipped the dagger back into its hiding place. 

“A good match,” Lotor said. “Thank you, Commander.” 

It was a good thing they both were wearing armor, because, for Lotor at least, that had been as good as foreplay, especially with his peak imminent. But the armor covered a multitude of vulnerabilities. 

He left the now-silent training deck, having done what he had come to do.

Sendak caught up with him in the corridor, and pulled him into an alcove. “What are you trying to do to me?” He hissed. 

“You’re mine,” Lotor hissed back. “None of them are good enough for you, but they all fawn over you as if they are. They need to be reminded of-“

“Lotor, I’m not going to leave-“

“Oh, I know that,” Lotor said, a little smugly. “You will never find someone else like me, no matter how long and hard you look. This wasn’t about you, Sendak. This was about everyone who thinks that I am not good enough.” 

“You don’t need to prove yourself.”

“Of course I do. Not to you, but to all of them. And I have, and I will.” He pulled Sendak’s chin down so he could rub their cheeks together. “Mm...they can all smell it on you, can’t they? But they can’t have you. You’re  _ mine _ .”

“Gods, Lotor,” Sendak said hoarsely. “We- I need- we should go back to your quarters before-“

“Yours are closer,” Lotor said.

“They’re not as nice as yours.”

“I don’t care, Sendak. Does it matter which mattress you fuck me into? If it were later at night, I’d let you fuck me here. I don’t care, just-“

Sendak clamped a hand over his mouth, then looked up and down the corridor. “You are a menace.” 

If not for the security cameras, Lotor was certain Sendak would have picked him up and carried him to his quarters; as it was, he could barely keep his hands to himself once they left the alcove. 

Sendak’s quarters  _ were _ closer, but not by much, since he’d been given new quarters with his recent promotion. The door had barely shut behind them before Sendak was pressing him up against it, kissing him almost bruisingly. 

Lotor pulled on Sendak’s ears, which had him hissing and groaning into the kiss.

“I’d fuck you right here,” Sendak growled, “but you’re too loud. Every passing cadet would hear you.”

“Let them,” Lotor replied. “Let them know what they’re missing, what they can never have-“

Sendak kissed him again, somehow harder, more desperate, and got his hands under Lotor’s thighs, lifting him up so he could wrap his legs around Sendak’s waist. 

Both sets of armor were in the way, and Lotor was already hard enough that it was uncomfortable. He imagined Sendak wasn’t doing much better. 

Sendak took him over to the bed and set him down; his hands went immediately to the catches on his armor. They probably didn’t have much time before one or the other of them were wanted for  _ something _ ...

“No,” Sendak growled. 

“No?” Lotor asked. 

“No,” Sendak insisted. “Watch.” 

Lotor did, though he had to dig his claws into his hands to keep from doing anything else. 

There was something erotic about watching Sendak strip his armor and uniform off with militant efficiency; perhaps it was just because it was Sendak, or perhaps it was the anticipation. Either way, it didn’t matter. 

“Sendak,” he whined. “Please let me-“

“It’s no fun when someone teases you, is it?” Sendak said, amused. “Maybe this time you’ll learn your lesson.”

“I’ve been told I’m unteachable and incorrigible,” Lotor said. 

Sendak bent down and mouthed at the underside of Lotor’s jaw, where the collar of his armor didn’t cover. “Probably one of the reasons I love you,” Sendak murmured. 

Lotor tilted his head to one side and closed his eyes. Sendak said it so easily, like he didn’t have to think about it, like it was part of him…

Sendak removed each and every piece of Lotor’s armor slowly, teasingly, taking time to stack it neatly out of the way.

Lotor let him. He enjoyed this, too, letting someone take care of him, especially when it was someone who actually cared for him. 

Finally, they were both completely undressed, and Sendak laid him out oh-so-gently, stretching him out on his back. Sendak just  _ looked _ at him, like he was committing every detail to memory. 

Maybe he was; who knew how long the Nestuna campaign would take.

Lotor let him do that, too; Sendak’s gaze was like a physical touch, and, anyway, Lotor would let Sendak do just about anything to him. 

One claw traced a path from underneath Lotor’s jaw, down his neck, his chest, all the way to his navel. Lotor tried desperately to hold still; as sharp as his own claws were, Sendak’s were longer. 

“You’re so small,” Sendak murmured.

Lotor narrowed his eyes in irritation. He knew that. It was impossible for him to ignore, most of the time. Not when he was surrounded by Galra that probably weighed at least twice what he did and topped him by a head or more. 

Sendak mouthed at his neck and ran his hands over Lotor’s torso. “So small and so perfect, and-“ 

He sounded... _ awed _ . 

“And yours,” Lotor replied, because he knew he couldn’t allow Sendak to keep speaking in that vein.

“And mine,” Sendak agreed, nipping along the line of Lotor’s jaw. “All mine.” He settled in between Lotor’s knees, which Lotor had obligingly spread. “You proved that, didn’t you? None of them could have gotten that far, and here you are, absolutely  _ tiny- _ “

“You underestimate me,” Lotor hissed. “They all do. You think because I’m small, I can’t keep up, but I can. I can, alright, so-“

Sendak kissed him. “I know, I know. But look-“ He splayed his out over Lotor’s chest, and it nearly spanned all the way across.

Lotor swallowed hard. “I am not weak.”

Sendak laughed, softly. “No, of course not. All that Galra strength and power still flows through you, but it has to be concentrated, doesn't it? It makes you fierce, indomitable. No one else sees that because they’re fools.”

“They are,” Lotor agreed.

“And yet, sometimes, you demand so much of me that I think I might break you. You’re so small…”

“You’re getting off on this, aren’t you?” Lotor accused. But… But it wasn’t objectionable, exactly. He had always, privately, liked that Sendak was...larger than he was. And sometimes, he was not exactly...subtle about it. 

Sendak rumbled an affirmation. “How could I not? I have the prettiest mate onboard, so small and yet so feisty.” He pulled Lotor’s legs up to wrap around his waist, then put one hand on his waist. 

He used his other hand to line himself up, and then he was pushing in; it was always so perfect, like he was made for Sendak. 

Lotor reached up to hold onto something, pull Sendak closer,  _ something _ , but Sendak caught both his wrists in one hand and pinned them above Lotor’s head.

He tugged against Sendak’s hold ineffectually, and it- It was so good… 

“Sendak,  _ please _ ,” he panted, not entirely sure what he was asking for.

Sendak bit the tip of one ear. “Keep your hands where they are.”

Lotor nodded. “Yes,  _ yes _ , please just-“

Sendak had both hands on his hips now, and Lotor hadn’t filled out much since that very first time; Sendak’s hands went nearly all the way around, and it  _ shouldn’t _ be so hot, but it was, it always was...

“My little prince,” Sendak crooned as he began fucking Lotor, “so small and sweet and perfect, but just for me.”

“Yes,” Lotor said. “If anyone else spoke to me the way you do…” Sendak thrust especially hard, and Lotor lost the rest of his reply in a low moan. 

Then, abruptly, he sat back on his heels, pulling Lotor with him, forcing all the air out of Lotor’s lungs in a dry sob. 

“Look,” Sendak murmured, rubbing his thumbs over Lotor’s hips. 

His vision was a little blurry, and it was difficult to hold onto to any thought but how  _ full _ he was, how  _ good _ he felt, but Lotor managed to look down between them.

In this position, there was… There was just a little bulge in his normally flat stomach. “ _ Oh _ ,” he breathed. He reached down to touch, as if he could feel Sendak moving through his abdominal wall. It really shouldn’t be so erotic and yet...

“See how small you are? Just the perfect size for this. For everything,” Sendak murmured. 

Lotor rested his forehead against Sendak’s shoulder, his eyes tightly shut. He couldn’t manage to get his legs to cooperate, but fortunately Sendak was strong enough to lift him.

That, and everything else, forced Lotor over the edge. Maybe with a scream, maybe not; he couldn’t  _ think- _

Sendak came, too, more quietly, but just as intensely. 

Sendak laid them down on their sides, facing each other, still buried inside Lotor. It was...filthy, but somehow terribly intimate. 

Lotor rubbed his cheek all over Sendak’s shoulder and neck, breathing in his very scent. There wasn’t a thing he wouldn’t miss about Sendak while he was away.

He’d managed to forget that, but now it came back to him, and he sighed. 

“Shh,” Sendak murmured. “Don’t think about that right now.”

“I don’t want you to go.”

“I know.” He kissed Lotor and rubbed his back. “I don’t want to go, either.”

“When do you leave?”

“A few days.” 

Lotor clutched him more tightly.

“Lotor, my love,” Sendak began, “please, for your sake, take care of yourself while I’m gone. I know how you get sometimes. You don’t eat, or sleep, or… And I won’t be there to remind you. So, please…”

“I will,” Lotor said. “I will. Don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself.”

“I know.” He kissed Lotor’s forehead. “I know.” 

“Do you really think I’m pretty?”

Sendak huffed a laugh. “Yes.”

“There’s no one you’d rather have? Because you could have anyone you wanted, and I’m not…” There were so many ways he could end that sentence, but Sendak didn’t give him a chance. 

“You are the only one I’ve wanted for so long. I love you, Lotor, and there is no one else like you.” He took one of Lotor’s hands and brought it up to his mouth so he could kiss his palm. “I love you, just as you are.” Then he smiled, softly, fondly. “I’ll say it as many times as it takes for you to believe it.”

“I already do,” Lotor insisted. “You make it easy to believe.” He sighed and untangled himself from Sendak’s embrace. “I shouldn’t stay any longer.”

“I wish you could.” 

Lotor leaned down to kiss him. “I do, too. But I can’t- if we are caught, then…” He swallowed. “I don’t know what will happen then. I’m trying to protect you, Sendak, the only way I can.”

“I know. I just wish you didn’t have to.” He sat up, swung his legs over the side of the bed, and pulled Lotor back down into his lap and held him.

Lotor let him. He liked this quiet comfort, this peace. He wished it could always be like this, but it couldn’t.

At least, not yet. 

“I have something for you,” Sendak said, his nose still pressed up against Lotor’s throat.

Another courting gift, probably. One he would accept, but do nothing about. Not yet. Not until…

This time it was another dagger, although the blade was wider and longer, and the hilt was covered in gemstones. It was meant to be displayed, but, Lotor decided, hefting it, it would hold up well in a fight. 

“It’s beautiful,” Lotor said. “Thank you.” 

“Beautiful, sharp, and deadly,” Sendak replied, “just like you.”

Lotor flushed; Sendak’s praise was still hard to accept, even after ten years. He kissed Sendak instead of responding.

“I know you can take care of yourself, but I will worry while I’m gone,” Sendak said. “So… Be careful.”

“You, too, Commander.” 

“Is that an order, my prince?”

“Yes,” Lotor said smugly. “It is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t usually respond to comments here, but I do love and appreciate each and every one, so thank you all!   
> If you are really intent on getting a hold of me, you can find me at my side blog @devilsofficialfanfic on tumblr. I answer all of my asks there, and I love hearing from y’all :)


	15. Irreplaceable

It was the last day before Sendak was due to leave. It was still difficult to wrap his mind around the fact that he was in charge of an entire military campaign. He was young for it, and anyway, he hadn’t earned it. 

Lotor had explained it, but even he could only speculate. 

_ “You’ve spent ten years with me, and ten years under his tutelage. If you fail, it reflects poorly on us both, you for failing and me for making you weaker by association.  _

__ _ “But if you succeed… If you succeed, then he can claim it as his victory. A triumph of all the things he taught you. An indication that your Galra blood is strong, stronger than mine.  _

__ _ “Maybe he’ll use it as an excuse, either way, to get rid of me, and make you his heir. You look the part, and you act the part, and you will be more readily accepted if and when you light the Kral Zera. You reflect much more honorably on my father than I do.”  _

So he was almost a pawn in this weird and disturbing game Lotor and his father were locked in. Only, he’d already made his decision ten years ago, and he’d keep making it in Lotor’s favor, no matter what happened. He’d sworn as much to Lotor, and he was a man of his word. 

It was obvious now, kneeling before Zarkon’s throne, that they did play a game of some sort. A game that left Lotor angry and afraid, a game with potentially deadly consequences, but a game nonetheless. 

“My Lord Father,” Lotor began, as, again, Zarkon had not acknowledged him. “I request the opportunity to prove myself to you by assisting in the Nestuna campaign.”

“Haven’t I already given you the opportunity to prove yourself?” Zarkon asked. “And did you not waste it? Why should I allow you to continue to disappoint me?”

Sendak had suggested that Lotor should request a private audience to do this, but Lotor had paled immediately; apparently whatever he feared from that was worse than this public humiliation. 

It made Sendak sad, but it also made him angry. Lotor didn’t deserve to be treated like this by anyone, much less his own father. 

But there was nothing he could do. 

“I have learned my lesson, Sire,” Lotor said meekly. It wasn’t right to see Lotor like this. “All I ask is for a second chance. Let me learn at the side of one of your trusted commanders. Let me make you  _ proud… _ ”

His voice cracked on that last word, and Sendak knew immediately that this was not only a ploy to stay close to him. Lotor truly did want his father to be proud of him.

And, Sendak knew, Zarkon never would be.

It was not a flaw in Lotor, but rather Zarkon, that drove him to that conclusion. Lotor was right; Zarkon cared for so few things, and Lotor wasn’t one of them. He never would be, either, but he wanted to be, so badly. 

“Absolutely not,” Zarkon said. “In order to keep you from disappointing me further, I have decided to refrain from giving you any more responsibility. You cannot be trusted to do as I ask, even with such a simple task-“

“I tried to find a better way!”

The throne room was suddenly deathly quiet. When was the last time someone had dared to interrupt Zarkon, much less raise their voice at him? And yet Lotor had.

Lotor, who, perhaps of everyone present, had the most to fear from Zarkon. 

Zarkon let the silence stretch an uncomfortably long time, before saying, quietly, dangerously, “You are dismissed.”

Lotor stalked out, and Sendak caught up with him in the corridor outside. 

He was already trembling, and Sendak wanted to comfort him, but it was dangerous, and Sendak had never hated Zarkon more than at that moment…

“Lotor,” Sendak said, softly, so that no one else would hear how familiar he was with Lotor.

“Don’t,” Lotor said. “Not now.” 

Lotor managed to hold himself together just long enough to get to his quarters, but when the door was closed and locked behind them, he buried his face in his hands and sobbed. 

Sendak gathered Lotor up in his arms and took him to the bedroom, where he sat on the bed and held him. 

It took a long time for Lotor to stop crying, but finally, he seemed to have cried himself out. 

“I’m sorry,” he said listlessly.

He’d cried into Sendak’s uniform, but Sendak could not care less about that right now. “Shh, it’s alright. I have others.” He rubbed Lotor’s back soothingly. “What do you need?”

“A different father,” Lotor said, with just a hint of his usual humor. He wiped his eyes and sighed. “For you to not go? Or for us to go together? Or… But you don’t have the power to make any of that happen. So I… Please... _ stay _ . I need you, Sendak, I really do, and I’m sorry, but I can’t-“

He was crying again, which meant that Sendak did not bring up the fact that it was not a good idea for him to stay. Lotor had probably realized that anyway, and decided that he needed this more.

“I’m right here,” Sendak said. “I’m not going anywhere.”  _ For now _ . “I’m here.” 

* * *

Lotor was napping -a little restlessly, if the random flicks of his ears were any indication -and Sendak watched over him. 

It was good to see Lotor sleeping, however restlessly, as they both knew he probably wouldn’t sleep well while Sendak was gone. 

There was nothing Sendak could do about it, and frankly, he knew he wasn’t going to sleep well, either, while he was away. It was hard to sleep if Lotor wasn’t within arm’s reach.

Sendak should leave; he had things to do in preparation for tomorrow’s departure, but… 

Lotor needed him, and if he had to leave, then he should be here when Lotor woke up. 

Lotor shifted in his sleep, then blearily opened one eye. “You’re still here,” he said sleepily. 

“You asked me to stay,” Sendak said, stroking his hair. It was so soft and fine; he’d never felt anything like it. 

Lotor closed his eyes again and nodded, pressing closer to Sendak. “One day,” he said, “the only person who’ll be able to order you from my bed will be me.” 

“I look forward to it, my prince.”

Lotor made a soft, pleased sound, not quite a purr, but close. Shorter; not as drawn out. “When I am the Emperor, I will have many generals and commanders and advisors; they are replaceable.  _ You _ are not, so perhaps I should keep you here, like this, to keep my bed warm, and to give me something to look forward to during long meetings.”

“It is my duty to serve you however you ask,” Sendak replied, half-teasing. Half-serious, too, though, because he would do whatever Lotor asked, whether Lotor was emperor or prince or pauper. 

Lotor climbed into his lap, facing him, with his arms around Sendak’s neck. “I mean it when I say you are not replaceable,” he said softly. “Not to me.”

One of Lotor’s thousand ways to say ‘I love you’ without actually saying it. 

Sendak kissed him, slow and sweet, in the way that made Lotor melt a little. “I love you.”

Lotor rested his forehead against Sendak’s, his eyes closed and a slight smile gracing his lips. “I- It means a lot, to hear you say that, and mean it. It’s silly, but it really does, and I can never find the words to express it, so...just, thank you, Sendak. Thank you so much for everything.”

“It’s not silly,” Sendak said. “Not if it means so much to you.” 

Lotor kissed him. “You should give me something to remember you by,” he murmured.

The timing for the campaign was bad; they were both in the worst parts of their respective peaks, and while they could function… Sendak certainly didn’t  _ want _ to, and every instinct he had rebelled at the idea of leaving Lotor alone during this time.

Lotor had similar reservations, if the way he’d been volatile and possessive the past few days was any indication. 

And gods, he did want everyone to know that Lotor was his, that if they  _ looked _ at him wrong then they would have to deal with Sendak, and may the gods help them if they disrespected him…

“I  _ am _ coming back,” Sendak said.

“Of course you are. I’m ordering you to, and you wouldn’t disobey a direct order from me, would you, Commander?” 

“Of course not, my prince.” 

“Good. Now…” He frowned thoughtfully. “How shall we do this?”

“Turn around?” Sendak suggested hopefully. Lotor’s neck was elegant and long and just right for kissing and biting and…

“Undress me,” Lotor demanded. 

That was easy to do; before his nap, he’d washed his face and changed into the robe Sendak had given him. All Sendak had to do was untie the belt and push it off his shoulders. 

Lotor flitted away, out of Sendak’s reach, to hang the robe back up.

“Should I…?” Sendak asked. He had taken his armor off, but he was still in his flightsuit.

“No,” Lotor said. “Leave it on.”

There were hidden catches in the crotch of the suit -not originally intended for this purpose, but Sendak wasn’t going to argue - and he freed his cock. He was already half-hard; in this part of his cycle, and with Lotor synced up so closely, it wasn’t exactly difficult to get him going. 

Lotor was completely unselfconscious about his body, and always had been,  and Sendak was more than willing to admit that it was incredibly hot to watch him move around so shamelessly.

“On the edge of the bed,” Lotor ordered.

Sendak swung his legs over the edge so that they were on the floor, and then Lotor sat back down in his lap, facing him. 

“Kiss me,” he demanded. 

Sendak obeyed eagerly. He recognized Lotor’s mood now, the one that made him want every bit of power over someone that he could have, because he rarely had it anywhere else. And that was more than fine with Sendak; he never asked for more than Sendak was willing to give him, and he always had such good ideas.

One of Lotor’s delicate, fine-boned hands reached down to gently stroke Sendak’s cock, running his thumb insistently over the ridges on the underside, the most sensitive part. 

It did not take long for him to start to unravel under Lotor’s ministrations. He absolutely was a menace, but he was  _ his _ menace, so…

Lotor pulled away and stood; Sendak had to fight the urge to immediately pull him back down and finish what Lotor had started. 

“I want to feel you for  _ days _ ,” Lotor murmured, tilting Sendak’s chin up with one hand so he could look him in the eye. “Can you do that for me?”

Sendak nodded. 

Lotor leaned down and kissed him, teasingly. “Good.” He sank back into Sendak’s lap, this time facing away, his back to Sendak’s chest, and hooked his legs over Sendak’s knees. 

Lotor had almost no leverage in this position, and that meant he’d have to take whatever Sendak gave him. 

Sendak took his time pulling Lotor back against his chest, nuzzling his neck and his jawline and the area behind his ears- all places where his scent was richest -savoring and memorizing. He always smelled so good, but especially like this.

Lotor, for once not overcome by his own impatience, let Sendak go at his own pace, perhaps enjoying the attention, if the soft, pleased sighs were any indication.    

“I love you,” Sendak murmured against the soft skin of Lotor’s neck. “There is no force in the universe that will stop me from coming back to you.”

“I know,” Lotor said softly. He twisted in Sendak’s lap so he could kiss him. “I know.” He pulled away, but Sendak could still feel the heat coming off him, and he was almost startled when Lotor handed him the bottle of lube. “ _ Please _ ...” 

Sendak slicked himself up and set the lube down -somewhere, but it didn’t matter right now -then positioned himself against Lotor’s entrance. “Ready?” 

“For you? Always.”

Sendak nipped his ear and began to slide into Lotor. This was, perhaps, one of Sendak’s favorite parts, because Lotor made such lovely sounds, low and satisfied, and he rolled his hips just so, trying to find a more comfortable position for himself, but it always stimulated the sensitive parts of Sendak’s cock-

He could go on. No partner had ever been as satisfying as Lotor, and maybe that was because of the emotional aspect, the fact that he loved Lotor, and maybe it wasn’t. It didn’t matter; either way, he was pretty sure Lotor had ruined him for anyone else. 

He slid a hand low across Lotor’s abdomen; the normally-taunt surface was slightly distended, something Sendak had never experienced in any of his other partners. Not surprising; none of them had been nearly as small as Lotor.

It pleased him a great deal, for some reason he could not name. 

Lotor intertwined one hand with Sendak’s, and pushed himself up as much as he could, clearly ready for Sendak to move. 

He did, with one hand on Lotor’s hip, guiding his motions. Lotor let Sendak do most of the work -which was absolutely fine with Sendak -and rested his head on Sendak’s shoulder. He still rolled his hips in order to meet Sendak’s thrusts, but that was, at most, a lazy afterthought.

Lotor brought his free hand down to his cock and stroked idly, humming with pleasure, and biting his lower lip. 

Sendak mouthed at Lotor’s throat, letting him feel the sharp points of his fangs.

Suddenly, Lotor cried out, a wordless sound, and he arched in Sendak’s lap, lost in the throes of his climax. 

It was all Sendak could do not to follow him; he wasn’t quite ready for this to be over, and he didn’t think Lotor was, either. 

Sure enough, when Lotor caught his breath enough to speak, he murmured, “Keep going. I  _ need _ you…” 

And who was Sendak to deny him, when he asked like that? 

Lotor had gone completely limp now, not even attempting to meet Sendak’s thrusts, but he was making tiny, wordless sounds that were so incredibly satisfied, so contented that Sendak really didn’t mind.

“Come on, Commander,” Lotor said finally, half-hard again, “fuck me like you mean it.”

_ Damn _ . Something about Lotor using his rank like this was… He growled against Lotor’s throat, and picked up the pace.

Lotor reached up and back to pull at one of Sendak’s ears, twisting it just sharply enough that sparks of pain-pleasure shot down his spine, and then he clenched down very purposefully on Sendak’s cock.

Sendak growled a warning, but Lotor only laughed and did it again.

There was no way Sendak could stop himself from coming, but Lotor didn’t seem to mind, riding him through it so perfectly…

When Sendak could breathe again, he lapped up the few drops of blood on Lotor’s neck; Lotor tilted his head to allow him better access, but he squirmed in Sendak’s lap.

Still hard, apparently. Sendak nipped his ear again, and then, without warning, pulled Lotor out of his lap and pushed him onto the bed. 

Lotor made a startled noise, but he moaned when Sendak got his head in between his thighs, throwing his knees over his shoulders. 

“ _ Yes _ ,” Lotor crooned, “finish what you started, Commander…” 

Sendak lapped at the cum on Lotor’s thighs -both his own and Sendak’s - slowly, teasingly. With the right stimulation, Lotor certainly could come right now, but there was no reason not to draw it out a little. Not with Lotor making such pretty noises above him. 

He grabbed Lotor’s hips, angling them up off the bed a little for easier access, then swiped his tongue directly across Lotor’s hole. 

Lotor gasped and shook above him, locking his ankles together around Sendak’s shoulders, trying to keep him there, pull him closer. 

Sendak was not going anywhere until Lotor was a disintegrated mess, completely satisfied and unwilling to move. 

He continued eating him out, enjoying the satisfaction he felt at making Lotor unravel like this. 

And he  _ was _ unraveling; when Sendak lifted his head, Lotor’s head was thrown back, his eyes tightly shut, his mouth hanging open, sweat glistening on his brow and collarbones. He clutched at the bed sheets desperately, with pale knuckles.

He opened one eye to see why Sendak had stopped.

Sendak nosed along the place where Lotor’s thigh met his groin, inhaling and enjoying the scent of his virility, proof of how alive and vibrant he was.

Lotor whined at the teasing, and Sendak licked a stripe up the underside of Lotor’s cock in apology. 

As far as cocks went, Lotor’s was very nice. Proportionate, which meant it was somewhat smaller than the average Galra’s, but it suited him nicely, and anyway, it was much easier for Sendak to fit into his mouth without accidentally mangling it, a fact he was sure Lotor appreciated quite a bit. 

Sendak pinned Lotor’s hips to the bed and swallowed his cock down, running his tongue over the ridges and sucking.

Lotor reached down grab a hold of Sendak’s fur, like he needed something to hold onto, and Sendak could feel his claws even through the thick fur on his head, and he could feel Lotor trying to buck up into his mouth, whining and gasping and squirming. 

Sendak swallowed again, and then Lotor was coming down his throat, his whole body arched into it.

It was only when Lotor collapsed again that Sendak pulled off. He stood, stripped his suit off quickly (he really should not have let Lotor talk him into keeping it on) and then curled up next to Lotor.

Lotor made a sleepy, content noise, and tucked his head under Sendak’s chin. Right where he belonged. 


	16. Is This Toothrotting Enough For You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternatively, Lotor Oversleeps Because Of That Good SenDick

Lotor woke alone. 

That wasn’t so unusual, so he considered going back to sleep, until he remembered.

_ Shit _ . He scrambled out of bed and into his uniform as fast as he could. 

He hadn’t thought he’d sleep through Sendak getting up, but then, Sendak had really done his best last night, enough that Lotor had to ignore his achy... _ everything _ . 

But Sendak was leaving today, this morning, and Lotor wanted to say goodbye. Wish him luck. Maybe sneak in a last kiss. 

Just in case. 

He strode down to the hangar as quickly as he could -he would run, but that would surely draw attention, and people would start asking questions, and then - and was relieved to see Sendak still there, his arms crossed while he listened to someone speak.

He turned in Lotor’s direction and his eyes widened just a little. 

The other officer said something, too quietly for Lotor to quiet make out, and laughed. 

“That,” Sendak said sternly, “is your prince, and you  _ will _ treat him respectfully.”

_ Oh _ . Lotor flushed, both because the other officer had obviously said something insulting about him, and because Sendak had actually stood up for him? 

Even his governess had demanded that he learn to take the abuse. 

“Commander,” Lotor said, ignoring the other officer. A lieutenant, by his uniform. 

“Your Highness.” 

“There was something I needed to speak with you privately about, Commander, before your departure this morning.”

“Of course, Your Highness.” Sendak ushered him over to a secluded alcove, away from the hustle and bustle of the main hangar. 

“Do I want to know what he said?” Lotor asked quietly.

“No,” Sendak said. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see you before you left. We could have said goodbye in my rooms, but you were gone when I woke up.”

Sendak’s ears twitched, and he looked away. “I thought it would be easier.” 

Lotor sighed. “I know, but I wanted to see you off. Besides, I have something for you.”

“You didn’t have to…” 

“I know. I wanted to.” He handed Sendak the small frame he’d had tucked in one of his pockets. 

“You drew this?”

Lotor smiled, a little proudly. “I did. Do you like it?”

“It’s a self-portrait of you. Of course I like it.” He tucked in into one of his own pockets. “Thank you.”

”I needed some way to remind you what you get to come back to, didn’t I?”

“You didn’t. I’ll be thinking about you every minute of every day while I’m gone.” He cupped Lotor’s face in both his hands. “I am going to miss you so much, Lotor, my love.”

“I’m going to miss you, too,” Lotor said quietly. “But I will be fine, as long as you come back to me.”

“I will. I promise.” He leaned down to kiss Lotor, slow and sweet. “I love you.”

The final launch announcements were made overhead, and Lotor stepped back. “Be careful, Commander.”

“Yes, my prince.” 

Lotor stayed in the hangar until Sendak’s ship was out of sight. 

* * *

Lotor very much would have liked to spend the next several days moping, but he doubted he could get away with it. After all, Sendak was merely his erstwhile traveling companion, in the eyes of everyone watching; why should he be distraught at his absence?

If anything, he ought to be overjoyed that Sendak was gone. Gossips read too much into the fact that Sendak had once been under the tutelage of Zarkon himself, and Lotor hadn’t, and so most saw them as rivals, set against each other, vying for Zarkon’s attention.

It might have been true, once, but now Lotor was glad that Zarkon’s attention was elsewhere. Oh, he still wanted his father’s love, as he always had, but he’d realized he’d probably never get it. Not without stripping out parts of himself that were vital to who he was. 

For now, it was still early, and Lotor went back to his quarters, to eat and prepare for the day properly.

Kova was waiting for him, sleeping in the indent of Lotor’s pillow. 

Well, at least he wouldn’t be completely alone. 

Lotor hadn’t noticed, earlier, in his rush to get to the hangar, but there was a hairbrush on the bedside table with a note tucked under the handle. 

Lotor picked up the note first, and read it. 

_ I love you _

No one would ever believe how much of a sap Sendak could be, not without seeing it for themselves. And of course, they never would. 

Lotor tucked the note into the hidden pocket in the breast of his uniform, close to his heart. 

He picked up the hairbrush. It had an intricately carved bone handle, and the bristles were nice and stiff. 

Most Galra made do with their claws and, occasionally, wire combs, but Lotor’s hair was too fine for that to really be effective.

Sendak was so thoughtful, and Lotor was so incredibly lucky…

He sighed wistfully. It was going to be a long campaign. Maybe willpower alone would make time fly faster, but probably not.


	17. TFW Your Coworkers Are Dicks

The officers under Sendak’s command were not exactly hostile to him, but it was clear that they didn’t like him. 

It was not surprising, either. After all, most of the lieutenants were his age or older, and they had been in service for years already, working their way up the chain of command, and here he was, simply given command by Zarkon himself, without having to prove a damn thing. 

What did surprise him was the fact that it took two entire days for someone to actually gather the courage to challenge him. If he had been in that position, and could be assured of his victory, he probably would have settled the issue on the first day. 

It was a senior lieutenant, Lieutenant Kreg -who Sendak suspected would have led the campaign, were it not for him -who finally did. 

It was stupid of him to do it on the bridge, but that was his right. If he wanted to suffer defeat in front of all of the senior officers, then that was his choice. Sendak was not required to grant him mercy -in fact, he was almost obliged not to -and if he wanted his final act to be such a humiliating loss, then so be it. 

“I challenge you for command,” Kreg growled.

It was usually a mistake to challenge a male right in the height of their peak, but Kreg didn’t seem to care.

Sendak didn’t, either. “Victory or death,” he replied.

The other officers stopped what they were doing and stepped back out of the way, quietly watching. 

Sendak could have refused the challenge, and stepped down, but of course he wouldn’t have. That was cowardice, perhaps the only unforgivable weakness. And, anyway, Kreg was biting off more than he could chew. 

It wasn’t that he wasn’t a good fighter, just that Sendak was better. 

He had the point of his sword pressed up against Kreg’s throat, finally, with Kreg on the ground and disarmed. “Yield.”

“No,” Kreg growled, and that was perhaps the only honorable way out left to him. 

Sendak made it quick; he wasn’t a cruel man. “Are there any others who wish to challenge my command?” 

There weren’t, and that was a good thing; the fleet would arrive over Nestuna in a few hours, and the last thing he needed was an unclear chain of command. 

Another lieutenant caught up with him as he left the bridge.

“Sir,” she began, “will you be...capable of leading this campaign?”

“Is that a challenge, Lieutenant Vrez?”

“No, sir, only…” She lowered her voice. “A few of the other officers -not me -had noticed that you were spending a good deal of time with Prince Lotor before we left Central Command, and I couldn’t help but notice that you are…”

“What I do and who I do it with is not your concern, Lieutenant.” 

“My only concern is for the campaign, Sir. I would not want it be be a failure simply because certain aspects of your...biology made you reckless.”

“It will not happen,” Sendak said sharply. “You are dismissed.”

She hesitated, but then saluted and left. 

Had it been that obvious to everyone? There was no crime in spending time with Lotor, and gods, they’d spent ten years together during Lotor’s exile. 

Vrez’s implication was that it was rumored they were sleeping together, and that was entirely permissible, since they were both in their peaks. As far as anyone knew, it was simply the arrangement they had come to over the last ten years, with nothing else to it. 

But.

Now, surrounded by a wealth of…’more suitable’ partners… would he have to choose someone else, so that it wouldn’t be suspicious? He certainly didn’t want to, and he knew that Lotor wouldn’t be happy about it, either. He might understand, but honestly, Sendak wasn’t sure he could bring himself to find someone else anyway. 

The timing for this was really terrible. 

And he was finding it impossible to sleep without Lotor next to him.

On top of all that, apparently the officers were gossiping now, about him and Lotor, and that was bound to get back to Zarkon at some point. Lotor never elucidated on his fears of what Zarkon might do, but Sendak was more than willing to believe that it wouldn’t be good. For either of them, although it would surely be worse for Lotor. 

Gods, they should have been more careful.

But what was he supposed to do? Leave Lotor alone while he dealt with his own demons and needed someone to be there for him? 

No. Besides, he wasn’t afraid for himself. He’d accepted that he’d probably die in battle, like his parents before him; most Galra did not live into old age. 

He just wanted Lotor to be happy, and he’d do whatever he had to in order to make that happen. But first he’d have to finish this damn campaign. 


	18. *Jaws Theme*

There was no news from the campaign. At least none that Lotor heard. 

That was to be expected, he supposed. Even if there was news this early on, why would anyone share it with him? 

He spent some time doing repairs on his ship, because he might as well. There was a slim chance that, perhaps, his father might let him go again. But then, the emperor’s moods were capricious at best; there was no way of knowing what might be demanded of him.

Kova chirped a greeting at someone, something he rarely did. Lotor pulled himself upright.

The witch. He schooled his expression. “High Priestess.”

“Prince Lotor.” She stared down at Kova for a moment, frowning.

Kova had, for some unknown reason, always liked the witch, though she was just as baffled by it as Lotor was. 

“Let us save time and assume that my father sent you to keep an eye on me,” Lotor said, “because he cannot be bothered to do it himself.”

“The Emperor did not send me, Prince Lotor. The ship’s logs indicate that you spent time in an Altean research facility.”

“You’ve been going through my logs?” He shouldn’t be surprised, honestly. 

She ignored that. “What did you find there?”

What indeed. “Nothing,” he lied. “It was abandoned.”

“Hm. Should you wish to learn about the other half of your heritage, do not hesitate to ask.” She left before he could say anything else.

And, honestly, what would he say? How did she know? What else did she know? And what was she willing to share?  _ Why _ ? 

    How was she going to use this against him? 

He found he was too distracted to be able to safely do any more work on his ship, so he cleaned up and left. 

He was intending on going to his quarters and maybe reading or something -anything to get his mind away from everything that was going on -and was so deep in thought that he did not notice that he was being followed until he was pulled into an alcove and pressed face-first into a wall. 

He was so startled by it that he froze completely, until someone nosed at the area behind his ear. 

_ Shit _ . 

He twisted out of his assailant’s reach and slammed his head against the wall. He fell to his knees, and that made it easier for Lotor to pressed a dagger against his throat. 

“How dare you,” Lotor hissed. “I am well within my rights to slit your throat right here, right now. Tell me why I shouldn’t.”

“I’m doing you a favor,” the corporal said. “Sendak’s gone, and no one else wants you, so…”

Lotor growled. “So you thought you could assault me?” He didn’t want to get close enough to get a good whiff of this corporal’s scent, but he was probably peaking too. It didn’t excuse his actions, but it might explain them. “No one else in your cohort wanted you, is that it? So you had to settle for fucking a mongrel prince, and you thought I’d be grateful? You are not half the man Sendak is, and if you ever touch me again, I will personally see to it that you never experience sexual pleasure again. Am I clear?”

The corporal didn’t say anything, so Lotor pressed the dagger down harder. “Am I clear, Corporal?”

“Yes,” he wheezed finally. 

“Yes what?”

“Yes, Your Highness.” The corporal clearly hated every second of this, but he should have thought of that before he attacked Lotor. At least Lotor was inclined to grant him mercy. This time. He doubted Sendak would, if he ever found out. 

“Your name,” Lotor demanded. 

“Prov, Your Highness.”

“Do not mention this to anyone, Corporal Prov.” Lotor left the alcove, stalking down the corridor. He’d been so close to his rooms, too. 

He showered when he got there; he was still covered in engine grease and Prov’s scent probably clung to him. Even if he couldn’t smell it, it disgusted him.

Did everyone know? It was something he should have considered, but honestly, scent cues were something of a mystery to him, a hidden language he could never hope to understand, and it didn’t really affect him most of the time, so he hadn’t. 

But of course everyone else could smell his peak. They could smell Sendak’s scent on him, too, probably. Possibly even now, several days later. He couldn’t be sure. 

He scrubbed more vigorously. If Prov’s scent was still on him when Sendak returned… Well, actually, Lotor would enjoy watching the fallout of that one. 

The much larger concern was: who would try to use this information against him? And how? 

Prov had tried to use it for his own short-term personal gain, but others would have more long term goals, surely.

That Lotor spent his peaks with Sendak was not the concern. He’d been alone with him for ten years, and the arrangement would have been one of convenience. No, the real problem would come if and when they found out that Lotor slept with Sendak outside of his peaks. That Sendak was courting him. That they were…

And if his father ever found out… 

Lotor dried himself off and wrapped himself in the robe Sendak had given him. It was very nice; almost, but not quite, like being held by Sendak. 

It was still early in the day, but Lotor didn’t feel like doing anything else. Didn’t feel like leaving his rooms. He only felt safe here, and really, he  _ was _ only safe here. 

He curled up on his bed with his drawing pad and began to sketch. 


	19. *Jaws Theme Intensifies*

Nestuna was woefully unprepared for the Galra war-machine. They were a bit less advanced, having achieved the capacity for space travel only recently.

As such… Well. It was an easy campaign. 

Sendak remembered what Zarkon had told him when he’d been given this command:  _ I think that the campaign against Nestuna will be a suitable challenge for someone of your illustrious lineage,  _ and he wondered now if that was intended to be a backhanded insult.

There was something distinctly dishonorable about it, but there wasn’t much he could do, other than to order that civilian casualties be kept to a minimum. 

He was recalled to Central Command almost as soon as Nestuna had surrendered, and that was a relief. Some part of him had worried that Zarkon meant to keep him here and have him oversee the planet, away from Central Command. Away from Lotor. 

A different Commander would oversee this new territory, and Sendak would spend at least a few days at Central Command, and that was better than nothing. 

Lotor was not waiting in the hangar when his shuttle set down. Perhaps it was to keep up appearances, or perhaps no one had told Lotor that Sendak was returning. Why would they have?

He was summoned immediately before Zarkon, and showered in praise -which he didn’t feel he had earned, and furthermore felt like insults -before being dismissed without being given another posting. 

That would come later. Hopefully much later, if at all.

By now it was late enough that hardly anyone was around, and it was easy to get to Lotor’s quarters without being seen. 

He requested entry, and it was a few minutes before the door slid open, long enough that Sendak considered coming back in the morning. Maybe Lotor was sleeping?

But the door did finally slide open, and Sendak entered. 

Lotor looked up from where he’d been drawing. “Sendak?” He stood and practically threw himself into Sendak’s arms.

“I missed you, too,” Sendak said, purring already. He couldn’t help himself. It had only been three weeks, but it felt like three centuries. 

“You shouldn’t be here,” Lotor said, although he tightened his arms around Sendak’s shoulders. “We- they could-“

”Shh. I know. Just...let me hold you.” It certainly was dangerous, and they should be more careful, especially now that they weren’t peaking anymore, but- 

Lotor acquiesced, letting Sendak carry him to the bedroom. 

“You look exhausted,” Lotor said quietly, stroking one ear. 

Sendak  _ felt _ exhausted; he’d slept terribly over the past three weeks. “I’m fine now,” he said, setting Lotor down. “Just missed you.” 

“I missed you, too,” Lotor said. He was dressed already in his robe, so he slipped up under the covers and waited for Sendak to strip down to his undersuit. 

Sendak joined him, pulled him close, and kissed him. Touched him. Pulled him closer, as if this would prevent them from ever being apart again. 

Lotor began purring, too, just a little. 

“I just...want to sleep, holding you,” Sendak said softly. “I missed you, I want to be close to you, I want to keep you safe…”

“I want that, too,” Lotor said. “I...couldn’t sleep, without you here.” He sounded drowsy now, especially with his voice muffled against Sendak’s chest.

“I’m here now,” Sendak said, kissing the top of Lotor’s head. “Sleep. I’ll be here in the morning.”

Lotor made a sleepy affirmative noise, and Sendak drifted off soon after. 

* * *

Sendak woke, more well-rested than he had been in weeks. Lotor was already awake, sleepily rubbing his cheek against Sendak’s shoulder and purring softly. 

“Good morning,” he said when he realized that Sendak was awake. 

Sendak kissed him. He’d missed this and everything else, and he needed to take his fill now.

Lotor seemed more than willing to let him, even going as far as to sling one leg over Sendak’s, pushing their hips together.

“I missed you _ so much _ ,” Lotor murmured. “I’m not sure how I even survived without you…”

It was too early for Lotor’s teasing, so Sendak nipped at Lotor’s ear.

Sendak was still wearing his undersuit, and it was in the way, but he didn’t have the patience to let go of Lotor for even one second. Not again, not so soon.

Lotor had the same thought, apparently, because he snaked his hand between them and released the catches. “Just like this,” he said. “Slow and gentle… I missed that the most, how good you are to me…”

“Whatever you need,” Sendak said. “I promise. I love you, Lotor, I love you so much…” He let Lotor guide his cock to his entrance at his own pace, though it took nearly all of Sendak’s restraint.

It was worth it to see Lotor close his eyes in bliss, digging his fangs into his bottom lip in pleasure and concentration, as he rolled his hips so perfectly.

The angle was awkward. There was no getting around that, so, very carefully, Sendak sat up against the headboard, stabilizing Lotor’s hips with his hands. 

“Sorry,” he murmured. “I just-“

Lotor rose on his knees slightly. “Mm...no, don’t be…” He began riding Sendak in earnest, still slow and gentle, but somehow just right. It always was, with Lotor. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Sendak said. “So beautiful and so perfect.”

Lotor rested his forehead against Sendak’s, his eyes shut tightly. He was close, and honestly, so was Sendak -the last three weeks had been torture - so Sendak reached a hand down to Lotor’s cock.

“Sendak, I- I lo-“

The door slid open, and the room was suddenly flooded with sentries and several officers. “In the name of the Emperor, you are under arrest for treason!”

Lotor scrambled out of Sendak’s lap and pulled the sheets almost up to his chin. “What is the meaning of this?” He demanded, but it probably would have been more effective if his voice hadn’t wavered.

Lotor was trembling next to him, and he wanted to tear everyone else apart with his bare hands. It wouldn’t do any good right now, not with half-a-dozen blasters pointed directly at them. 

“You are to dress and then we will escort you before the Emperor,” the senior officer said. “Do not try anything; we are authorized to use lethal force against Commander Sendak if necessary.”

Lotor swallowed hard. “You have my word.”

The officer scoffed. “As if the word of a half-breed is any good.” 

Sendak almost lunged at the officer, but Lotor put a hand on his arm to stop him. “Mine is,” Lotor insisted. “The sentries may remain while we dress.”

“No armor,” the officer said, before turning on his heel and taking the other officers with him. “And don’t take too long!”

Lotor was still shaking, but he hauled himself up and began tugging on his flightsuit.

“Lotor, I’m sorry,” Sendak said quietly. “I should have been more careful. I should have…”

Lotor stilled for a long moment, his back to Sendak. “It’s not your fault,” he said finally. “I shouldn’t have let it get this far. I knew… I knew this would happen eventually. It’s my fault, but I won’t beg your forgiveness. Do you what you need to do to save yourself; it’s alright.”

“This isn't your fault, and I’m not going anywhere,” Sendak said. He slipped on his own flightsuit; the officer had looked like he was waiting for an excuse to rough either one of them up. “I swear it.”

Lotor finished dressing and turned back to Sendak. “What I was trying to say earlier, before… Sendak, I- I should have said this sooner…” Unshed tears glimmered in his eyes, and he looked so terribly afraid that Sendak wanted to take him away from all this and find a place where he was safe. “Sendak, I love you.”

Before Sendak could respond, the officer was back. “Alright, that’s enough. Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eventually, if I keep cockblocking Lotor like this, he’s gonna climb out of this fic and kick my ass.   
> Also, I love hearing from you guys so... :)


	20. Or Worse

This was his fault. No matter what Sendak said. He should have… He should have stopped it before it even started, ten years ago. He shouldn’t have allowed Sendak to come with him in the first place, and then none of this would have happened. 

The last ten years had been a beautiful, lovely dream, but now reality was crashing back in, and it was going to destroy him. 

Still, he had to keep his back straight, had to pretend that this was nothing, that it didn’t affect him, that nothing ever touched him. He wouldn’t give his father the satisfaction of seeing him break. 

They did not kneel before the throne; with the guards holding them still, it would have been impossible, and anyway, Lotor did not feel like playing along with the performative subservience today. Maybe never again. 

The witch was there, passively watching as she always did. 

It was safe to say that Zarkon knew, at this point, but did she? Had she been the one to originally find out? Had she-?

He had to dig his claws into his palms to keep from shaking; without the material of his gloves in the way, he would have drawn blood. 

Sendak was by his side, and that was part of the problem. Zarkon couldn’t hurt Lotor -not permanently, not severely -but there was nothing stopping him from harming Sendak. Killing him. Or worse. 

The people the witch got a hold of rarely came back. 

“What do you have to say for yourself?” Zarkon said. 

It wasn’t really a question; nothing Lotor could say would, in Zarkon’s eyes, clear him of whatever crime he was accused of. Whatever wrong he had committed. 

“I…” he began, because he had to say something; Zarkon wanted to see him make a fool of himself, in front of everyone. “I suffered a temporary lapse in  judgement. It won’t happen again, Sire.” 

How else was he supposed to protect Sendak? Because he wanted to -he needed to -and perhaps it would be best to simply make Zarkon think he wasn’t a game piece on this board. Just a momentary distraction. 

He was far more than that, but if his father found out…

“Your judgement has always been suspect,” Zarkon mused. “Is that because you are not true Galra?”

Lotor didn’t know what to say to that, didn’t know how to make this as painless as possible. “I...don’t know, Sire.” 

He could feel Sendak’s anger, though it was not directed at him. Sendak never pushed him to open up about his relationship with his father, and he was glad of that, but now… Sendak needed to know, so he could be prepared. So he wouldn’t-

Sendak wrenched himself free of the guards’ grip and took a step forward. “Sire, with all due respect, Prince Lotor embodies the Galra ideal far better than most of your soldiers. They forget about honor, responsibility, strength of character as well as of body… And I have yet to meet a man even half as great.” 

_ No, no, no!  _ This was what Zarkon wanted, for Sendak to step up and defend him. It would have been better if he had openly mocked Lotor in front of everyone, disparaged him and humiliated him. Then, maybe, they would have been left alone. He alone would know that Sendak didn’t really mean it.

But these words -these kind, complimentary words -dripped with an aching honesty that made Zarkon narrow his eyes, made him sit up and take notice. 

“Most do not try to defend my own son to me,” Zarkon said casually.

Lotor’s heart raced. What could he say to get out of this? 

“I am surprised at your behavior, Commander,” Zarkon continued. “As far as I know, there is no...taint to your blood that would make you so weak as to… Well. Then again, you did follow him when I exiled him for his own weakness. Why is that?”

“Because it would have been wrong to let him go alone,” Sendak said quietly. 

“What did he offer you?” Zarkon said, amused. “I’m afraid I won’t believe that he merely spread his legs for you, so it must have been more. Power? Something else? What was it, Commander?”

“Nothing,” Sendak said. “He offered me nothing.”

“Then why, Commander? Please, tell me why someone would choose to follow my disgraced son and give up all prospects of a future, with nothing to be gained?”

“Because I-“ There was a tension in the air, a thread that pulled words out of Sendak’s mouth, one that Lotor could almost  _ see _ , as if it were real and not something that he was imagining. “I love him.”

It was said quietly, but the throne room had fallen completely silent; in this vast, reticent space, the declaration echoed. 

Even Zarkon took a moment to respond. “Is that so?” He said finally. “And does he return your feelings?”

Sendak didn’t get the chance to say anything; something about Lotor’s...posture, his expression,  _ something _ , told Zarkon everything he needed to know. 

“You will be confined to your quarters until I decide what to do with you.” 

Lotor could breathe again suddenly; it would be a short reprieve, but maybe he could think of something. Plan something. 

“I’m sorry,” Sendak murmured as they left. “I didn’t-“

“I know,” Lotor said. This had been in motion since Sendak had decided to come with him into exile; nothing could have averted this since then, and he was a fool for thinking otherwise. “It’s not your fault.”

There was a crowd outside the throne room, mostly corporals who hadn’t been allowed admittance due to their rank.

Lotor could put a name to only one face, and he turned away from Corporal Prov before he could say anything.

That didn’t stop him from slipping between the guards -who did nothing to stop him -and saying, loud enough for everyone to hear, “You should have let me fuck you when you had the chance.” 

Lotor snarled as Prov groped his ass, but before he could do anything else, Sendak, without thought or hesitation, dropped Prov to the deck with a single punch thrown at his jaw. 

The guards pulled Sendak back and away, but he didn’t put up a fight. “His honor is mine,” he said, and then, softer, for Lotor only: “Your honor is mine.”

A declaration that he would defend Lotor’s honor as he would his own.

But also…

Those were wedding vows. In this context, it signaled Sendak’s intent to marry him, to pledge himself to Lotor above all others, to have them bound together forever. Until death, and even after. 

It was the last thing Lotor expected. After all this...why would Sendak choose to stay? He was an honorable man, and if they were married, he’d respect those vows, but they weren’t. He could leave, renounce all his ties to Lotor, and protect himself. 

It would have been better -safer -that way. For both of them. 

“Your honor is mine,” Lotor said quietly, instead of all that. It was selfish, perhaps, but…

The corridor was silent now, a deathly sort of silence, and the guards pushed him forward; he went easily, feeling somehow...stronger. Less vulnerable. No longer alone.


	21. Because You’re Worth It

Sendak had watched Lotor pace for long enough, and he could smell blood in the air, presumably from Lotor picking at his claws until they bled. 

“Lotor.”

Lotor didn’t stop, didn’t even seem to hear him. 

“Lotor, my love.”

“I don’t know what to do!” Lotor yelled. He pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. “I can’t figure this out, and now I’m going to have to watch something terrible happen to you, and I don’t think I can handle that.”

“Nothing’s going to happen to me,” Sendak said, with a certainty he didn’t quite feel. “And even if it did...you could handle it. You’re the strongest person I know.”

“I’m so tired of being strong.” It was said all in a rush, quietly, like he was afraid to be overheard. Perhaps with good reason: there were definitely guards posted outside; whether they could hear their conversation from out there was a matter of debate. “I just want to be safe. I don’t want to have to fight anymore.”

“I will fight your battles for you, Lotor.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking. I’m offering. I will keep you safe, I will be strong enough that you don’t have to be, and I will fight for you with all that I have. I love you, Lotor, and I know…” He sighed. “I know it will be difficult, but I accept that. I’ll take whatever comes with it, because you are worth it.”

“I’m not,” Lotor protested. “I’m not worth dying for. Don’t make me watch you die. You could not be so cruel as that.”

“I’m not going to die,” Sendak said, more firmly. He wasn’t, not if it meant leaving Lotor alone. No matter what it took. “Worrying about it isn’t going to help.” 

“I know.” Lotor sighed. “But there’s nothing else I can do, and I have to do  _ something _ . I can’t just...sit here while our fates are decided.”

“Come here?” Sendak asked. 

A myriad of expressions flickered across Lotor’s face, but finally he nodded and stepped close enough that Sendak could pull him into his lap. 

Neither of them said anything for a long time, and Sendak focused on enjoying Lotor being in his arms again. Three weeks was not a long time, at all, but…

“I love you,” Lotor said finally, so softly that Sendak barely heard. “I meant it, I mean it. I love you. I should have told you sooner.” 

“You didn't have to. I knew.” 

“I’m sorry that the reward for your loyalty to the Empire is this.”

“Lotor, I-“ He pulled back a little and tilted Lotor’s chin up so he could look him in the eye. “I am not loyal to the empire, or the throne, or the emperor. I am loyal to  _ you _ , and you alone, regardless of what happens.”

There was such...hope, and love, and sadness in Lotor’s eyes. “Then I will make this right. Whatever it takes, Sendak. I will resolve this. I will. You have my word on that.”

“I believe in you, my love.” 

“No one’s ever...said that they believed in me before,” Lotor said after a few minutes. 

“Well, they should believe in you.” 

“No one ever gives me a chance,” Lotor said softly. “They cannot see past what I am on the outside, and they make assumptions and judgements, and they wait and watch for me to slip up. One wrong move, in the midst of thousands of successes, and I am a failure that will never amount to anything.”

“Then they are fools. The don’t deserve to have you prove yourself to them.”

“And with you defending my honor...I suppose I won’t have to,” Lotor teased. 

Sendak rumbled an affirmation and pulled Lotor a little bit closer. 

“Thank you,” Lotor said, his voice muffled, “for giving me a chance.” 

“My love, you deserve so much better than the life you’ve been given. I will do everything within my power to give you that.”

Lotor looked a little stunned.“You- you don't have to do that.”

Sendak kissed him. “Of course I do. No one deserves this, and you haven’t haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I disobeyed my father. The blood of my colony is on my-“

“ _ No _ ,” Sendak said firmly. “That colony was dead from the moment the Empire claimed it. There was nothing you could have done.”

“I know. But I wish…” He curled a little closer to Sendak. “When I am Emperor,” Lotor murmured, “nothing like that will ever happen again. Not ever, not for any reason.”

“If you are to be Emperor,” Sendak said, just as quietly, “then we may need to make that happen.” 

Lotor’s eyes widened. “You...can’t mean that,” he breathed. 

“I do. I said anything, remember? Even that.”

“He has been challenged before, and what has come of it? Hardly anyone has survived, and if they survived the initial fight, then they were dragged off to the witch’s lab, and that is not a fate I wish for either of us.”

“Then perhaps… You are cunning, my love. You will think of something. Just know that I will be by your side no matter what happens.” 

“I know,” Lotor said, stroking his thumb across Sendak’s cheekbone, then he leaned in for the rare Lotor-initiated kiss. “I love you.”

Sendak had been right earlier when he said that he knew that Lotor loved him without him saying it, but it was still nice to hear it. Incredible to hear, actually. “I love you, too.” 


	22. That Would Be Enough

Lotor wasn’t sure how long he expected Zarkon to keep them here, but it had already been three days. 

Meals were delivered three times a day, by sentry, but otherwise no one was allowed to come or go. There was no one Lotor wanted to visit him anyway, since Sendak was here with him already. 

The anticipation was going to drive him to distraction. He had no idea what to expect anymore; this was so far removed from any situation he’d ever been in. 

Sendak was right. It was useless to simply wait until Zarkon died, or was killed. That day might never come, unless he made it happen. 

He had no idea how to do that. 

Others had tried to dethrone Zarkon, and they had all died for their efforts, either quickly, or slowly,  _ agonizingly _ , in the witch’s lab. He could expect his fate to be no different. If Lotor challenged Zarkon directly, then he was no longer protected by law and tradition that prevented Zarkon from slaying his own son. 

Sendak… No, he couldn’t allow Sendak to do that. 

So… 

So he had to wait for the judgement to be handed down. Wait to know what Zarkon intended before he could come up with a plan to counter it. 

He hated waiting like this, when it served no purpose. 

But at least Sendak was here. Sex was off the table -something about the pall of some uncertain, but almost certainly tragic, fate hanging over them did no favors to his libido -but the soft, unguarded intimacy was nice enough on its own. It reminded him that, as bad as things were, he didn’t have to face them alone, as he had with everything that had come before. 

Sendak intertwined their hands, which Lotor knew was a ploy to get him to stop tearing at his claw-sheaths. He hadn’t even realized he’d been doing it. Rather than address that, he said, “No one would blame you if you walked away now. My father might drop this whole thing, if you renounced your feelings.”

“He might not,” Sendak pointed out. Then, softer, fonder, “How many times do I have to tell you that I’m not going anywhere?”

“It’s not that,” Lotor protested. “I just- I don’t want to see you hurt, and if we have to continue this in secret, and be more careful, then…”

“We would always run the risk that someone might find out, no matter how careful we were. And you told me that when your father was dead, you would marry me.”

“You said you would wait as long as it took.”

“And I will. But I do want to marry you, and, more than that, I want you to be safe. And you never will be as long as your father is alive.” 

“He can’t kill me,” Lotor said. 

“But he can hurt you. He doesn’t even have to lay a finger you. You’re so anxious and afraid right now, and he hasn’t really done anything yet.” 

“But he will.”

“Yes, and I want to protect you from that. So let me.” He nuzzled the back and side of Lotor’s neck, and Lotor let himself relax a little into it. “What do you need?”

“I- I don’t know. For now, I think...just having you here, with me, is enough.”

Sendak made a pleased sound and kissed the tip of Lotor’s ear. “I’m right here, as long as you need me.” 

* * *

“Were you alright, at least, while I was gone?” Sendak asked. “I know the timing wasn’t ideal, and I know… But were you…?”

“Yes, more or less,” Lotor said. “I’m glad you knocked Prov out, though, because-“ The pieces fell together, suddenly. “Oh  _ no _ .” 

“Because what? Lotor?” 

“ _ Fuck _ ! I’m going to kill him! That bastard, that weblum-brained piece of-“

“Lotor.” 

“Prov…” Lotor paused to consider how to say this in a manner that wouldn’t result in Sendak immediately trying to go and kick Prov’s ass. Not that Prov wouldn’t deserve it. Not that Lotor wouldn’t like to see it happen. “Thought it would be a good idea to...solicit favors from me while you were gone.”

“And?”

“And nothing. I told him if he ever touched me again, he’d regret it. But he was rather...angry.” Lotor had been, too, with far more reason. “At the time, I dismissed it. But what he said, after, when you… So perhaps he…”

Sendak’s ears were almost all the way back, and he was absolutely fuming. “He deserves far more than a concussion. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Lotor shrugged. “I can handle myself. It wasn’t serious, and he clearly didn’t expect me to fight back. Some males do think with their cocks all the time, don’t they?”

“I am going to kill him,” Sendak said very calmly. “And then I am going to bring you his heart after I rip it out of his chest.”

“How romantic.” 

“I’m serious, Lotor. I will not allow anyone to disrespect you ever again, especially not in that manner.” 

“Then make an example of him. The far bigger problem is that he must have run and tattled to someone. My father, perhaps. Or maybe the witch.”

Sendak looked suddenly uneasy, as most did when anyone even mentioned the witch. “Why- why would you think that?”

“I had an interesting conversation with her, just before Prov’s face became intimately acquainted with a wall. The timing is...suspicious.”

“Have you ever considered, my love, that you are paranoid?”

“It’s not paranoia when everyone is actually out to get you.” 

Sendak didn’t have a counterargument to that, probably because Lotor was right. “Defeating your father will be difficult enough on its own. Taking on the witch, too, though…”

“With my father gone, she would lose all the power she has amassed. She won’t stand idly by while we attempt to dethrone him, whether she is involved in this or not. She’s not Galra; without his support, she’d have nothing.”

“She’s not Galra?”

Lotor frowned. He’d always known that, somehow, without anyone telling him, and he’d thought it was obvious. “No. Whatever she is, she isn’t that.” 

“As disgusting as Prov is, I’m not sure we can lay on the blame for this getting out on him. I- One of the lieutenants under my command implied that our… relationship was something of an open secret.”

“And during our peaks, it was fine,” Lotor insisted. “No one could blame us for that.”

“But it’s become clear, I think, that whatever our relationship is, it isn’t one of convenience.” 

“This is what I was afraid of,” Lotor said softly. “You speak of what I deserve all the time, but what about you? Surely you deserve better than this. I love you, but you are putting yourself in danger. You could die for this!”

“I am not going to die,” Sendak said. He said it like he knew, like he was certain. He said it like a promise. ”And I think, my love, it is rather pointless to keep going around in circles like this. I love you, and I am staying until the day you tell me, with all honesty, that you want me to leave.” 

“I could never do that,” Lotor said, reaching up to stroke Sendak’s cheek. “I love you too much.” 

Sendak turned so he could kiss the palm of Lotor’s hand. “Then I will stay.”

The door slid open and, with a silent look of understanding, they both turned to face whatever would come. 


	23. Terms And Conditions May Apply

Sendak had never really hated anyone before. Oh, he disliked people, sure, and at the time, he thought that was hatred.

Now, though… Standing before Zarkon, half a step behind Lotor, he realized that was nothing compared to this raw, burning emotion. This acrimonious revulsion. This caustic fire in his veins. 

Before, he would have killed Zarkon if Lotor had asked. Now, he would do it on his own, for his own reasons, the moment he was sure he could emerge from the challenge victorious. 

With the witch at his side… Something would have to be done, and Lotor would come up with a plan. He just needed more time and information. 

“What are your intentions with my son?” Zarkon asked.

“I will know if you lie,” the witch said in her grating voice. 

Sendak didn’t like lying. He understood the necessity, sometimes, but he didn’t like it, and he didn’t have to like it. 

Now, for instance. He didn’t want Zarkon to know anything about what he had with Lotor, as if him even knowing would corrupt it somehow. 

What had Lotor said?  _ Every good thing that comes my way is ultimately destroyed _ ? Sendak may have been determined to prove that wasn’t true, but he was facing off against Zarkon in this disturbing game he didn’t understand and hadn’t been trained to play. 

On the other hand, if the witch really could tell he was lying… Then surely lying would incur an extra penalty. 

“I intend to marry him, Sire,” Sendak said finally, “after the proper traditions are observed, and if he accepts.”

It felt wrong to say it like that, in front of all these people who didn’t see Lotor the way he saw him -strong, tenacious, sharp, talented, beautiful -and never would. 

He schooled his features as the hall erupted in noise -he could pick out individual comments, _but_ _he chose not to_ \- and faced forward. He couldn’t look at Lotor; maybe he should have lied, and saved him this humiliation. Maybe he should have done as Lotor had asked, and retracted his earlier statement, say he didn’t care for Lotor, pretend that none of this was real, and then-

And then what? Spend the rest of his life hiding the thing he cared about the most? That was... _ cowardice _ . No, if he had to fight for this, he would. 

“Is that so?” Zarkon said coolly. And then he... _ laughed _ ? Like the idea that someone might actually want to marry Lotor was absurd. 

Lotor stood stock-still next to him, jaw and shoulders set. Sendak remembered, suddenly, that Lotor was almost used to this; after all, how many times had Zarkon called him here with the sole intention of humiliating him in front of everyone? And yet all he could do was take it and pretend it didn’t hurt.

Sendak knew it did, but he couldn’t do anything, either. Not yet. 

“It is,” Sendak said firmly. “I have yet to meet another suitable partner.” The implication being that no one else here was good enough for him, and they weren’t, not if he had Lotor. None of them compared. 

He knew, of course, that others had hoped to court, or be courted by, him, and he knew that they must now be envious of Lotor, an untenable position for those who had looked down upon Lotor his entire life. 

“Then, in the interest of  _ tradition… _ ” Zarkon began, and Sendak felt a spike of anxiety at that. Zarkon was cruel, even ( _ especially _ ) towards his own son; what might he ask now? “In more recent times, it is customary for a father to ask that any potential partners prove themselves, usually in combat. However,  _ traditionally _ … I may demand whatever I wish from you.”

That was true. An old tradition, dead long before Daibazaal, but still a tradition. 

“You will be informed of my conditions later,” Zarkon said, dismissing him with a wave of one hand. 

Sendak kept pace with Lotor on the way out; there was no reason to pretend that Lotor was only his prince anymore, no reason to hide their relationship, not when everyone knew. Had known, maybe, for weeks. 

Lotor slowed to a stop in the corridor outside the throne room, scanning the crowd of corporals and cadets.

Sendak had an inkling of what Lotor’s plan might be, but before he could stop him, Lotor had already singled Prov out.

“Corporal Prov,” Lotor drawled. “There is a matter I wish to settle with you. I will meet you in the arena in half an hour, should your honor permit you to attend.”

Prov, who towered over Lotor, like almost everyone present, scoffed. “As if you are a worthy opponent.”

“Then perhaps you would prefer to fight me,” Sendak growled. Lotor’s description of his encounter with Prov left out all of the details, but Sendak imagined Prov hadn’t simply  _ asked _ . As such, Sendak wouldn’t mind tearing him limb-from-limb. Preferably in front of a large audience, so that they knew not to touch Lotor without his permission. 

Prov may have been able to get out of Lotor’s challenge by implying it wouldn’t be worth his time, but there was no way he could get out of Sendak’s without everyone knowing that he was a coward. 

Of course, what he didn’t know was that either way, Lotor was going to get his vengeance, either in the arena, or by arranging a tragic accident of some kind. 

Prov’s mouth was a thin line when he turned back to Lotor. “I’ll be there.” 

Lotor’s answering smile was cold. “Of course you will be. You aren’t completely craven, after all.”

Lotor didn’t say anything else until they were safely back in Lotor’s rooms. 

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Sendak asked.

”If you have a better one, I’d love to hear it,” Lotor said, beginning to carefully don his armor. “This is the last thing my father will expect, and it…” He sighed. “It shows him that I am not  _ stuck _ with you. No matter how distasteful the idea of fucking Prov is, he still wanted me. I have  _ options _ . He cannot comprehend that, I think. He never wanted me; why should anyone else?

“I suspect that part of him thinks this was a...youthful indiscretion on my part, and that he’s forcing us together, if you succeed in whatever task he’s going to give you. Which I know you will,” Lotor said, before Sendak could protest. “He thinks that, eventually, it will make me miserable, but we’ll be married, so I’ll just have to suffer through it. 

“And even beyond that… I’ve fought a few duels here and there, but never in the arena. Never on this scale. Prov was convenient; defeating him will earn me respect. Defeating him easily will prove that I am worthy of you, and it will prove that I am not an easy target.”

A well-reasoned argument. Sendak didn’t know where to start. “I… I hope that our marriage would never make you miserable.”

Lotor smiled fondly. “The idea of it alone makes me incredibly happy,” he said, fastening his gauntlets. “I don’t have the words to describe how happy I am that you decided to court me. That you want to marry me.”

“I have yet to find someone I’d rather marry,” Sendak told him.

Lotor reached up to kiss him. “I love you.” 

“When you win,” Sendak said, “I would really like to show you exactly how much you mean to me.”

Lotor grinned, the first time he’d been genuinely happy in several days. “Then I’d better win, hadn’t I?”


	24. That’s Karma, Bitch!

Lotor was not remotely anxious about fighting Prov. For one thing, even when Prov had had the element of surprise on his side, Lotor had barely had to exert himself.

For another… Lotor hadn’t been slacking on his combat training over the last ten years, and neither had Sendak. Pound-for-pound, he was stronger than most Galra, he was faster, more agile, and he had more stamina. He hadn’t been an easy target before, and he certainly wasn’t now, no matter what anyone thought. 

Zarkon was conspicuously absent, but Lotor didn’t care. Word of this would get back to him. It wouldn’t make him proud of Lotor’s skill; he knew that. 

But it might make him wary. Might make him play his hand too early in the game. 

It was all very calculated, of course, and Prov was just a convenient tool. Lotor might have felt sorry for him, if he hadn’t done something to deserve it. 

It also helped that Sendak was there, waiting for the duel to be over, regardless of how it turned out. 

Lotor stepped into the arena, ignoring the onlookers. This was merely a spectacle for them, and perhaps they wanted to see him dead or humiliated. It wouldn’t happen.

The duel began with the clash of blade-on-blade.

Prov fought like a typical Galra officer, all fury and no finesse. 

And he  _ was _ angry. Angry that Lotor had called him to account, angry that he hadn’t been able to get out of it, angry that none of his attacks landed.

Of course they didn’t; each attack was launched and carried out along the same line, and it was laughably easy for Lotor to evade each one. 

All he had to do was evade these repetitive attacks and wait for Prov to tire himself out. 

But that would take time, and Lotor wasn’t feeling especially patient, not in the face of these remarkably boring maneuvers. Was this all the vaunted Galra military was? Sendak fought better than this, but Sendak took it all very seriously. Did anyone else? Shouldn’t there be more to this than brute aggression? 

Lotor stepped in, engaged Prov’s sword, and twisted until his blade flew out of his hand. With a quick flick of his wrist, his own blade was at Prov’s throat. “Yield.” 

Prov glanced down and away, to where his sword was lying in the dirt, and Lotor could almost see him doing the calculations in his head: could he get there before Lotor could react? Could he distract Lotor somehow? Could he-?

“Yield,” Lotor demanded, for the second time. He would not ask a third. 

Prov said nothing, just gritted his teeth.

Lotor could almost respect that. He made it quick, just a single, clean stroke, with the whole of his body behind the movement as he turned. 

Clean, elegant, and finished. 

Lotor didn’t look back as he left the arena. There was no reason to, and anyway, he didn’t care to look.

Sendak radiated a sort of pride that only fed the bloodlust that hummed through Lotor’s veins, and, for once not caring who was watching or what they thought, he launched himself at Sendak, engaging him in a vicious, biting kiss.

It caught Sendak off-guard, and it took him a moment to return the kiss, only...he tried to mellow it out, and Lotor wasn’t having that. 

He growled and pushed Sendak harder into the wall that was behind him. He was aware of people watching, even here in the bowels of the arena, but he didn’t care. Let them say as they would; if it was particularly objectionable, he’d challenge them, and they would pay for their words, too. 

“You were magnificent,” Sendak murmured when Lotor finally pulled away. 

Lotor tasted blood, and he wasn’t sure if it was Sendak’s, Prov’s, or his own, but that didn’t matter, either. He burned, inside and out, his triumph igniting something new, something he’d never really felt before. 

“We should go,” he said. 

Sendak nodded.

* * *

They made it back to Lotor’s rooms with no complications, and the door was barely shut behind them before Lotor was pushing Sendak back against it. 

Sendak let him, although he seemed amused. “You’re in a mood today.”

Lotor growled, deep and low in his chest. “Weren’t you going to show me exactly how much I mean to you?”

“And how would you like me to do that? I think it might be rather difficult, now that you’ve pinned me here.”

“I want to fuck you,” Lotor said. He’d never really wanted to before, but this burning in his veins… He had a sense that it wouldn’t abate until he did something about it, and perhaps this was the best course of action. 

Sendak’s breath hitched. 

“If you want to, of course,” Lotor added. If not, there were other alternatives. Maybe none that appealed to him quite as much, but he’d live. 

Sendak’s response was a hard, savage kiss that only made Lotor harder, more desperate. 

“I hope that’s a yes,” Lotor panted when he pulled away. 

“It is,” Sendak assured him. 

Lotor pulled him towards the bedroom. “You should know that there weren’t others, before you, so…” Sendak knew that, but it was probably a good idea to remind him. 

Sendak shifted subtly on the bed. “I know. You won’t hurt me, if that’s what you’re worried about. You aren’t my first, my love.”

Lotor knew that, too, but they hadn’t discussed the exact logistics of that. “I’m afraid I don’t quite know what I’m doing.”

“I don’t mind teaching you,” Sendak said. He never had. “But it’s not difficult.”

“I can’t imagine that it would be,” Lotor replied. He leaned down to kiss Sendak, then stood and began stripping off his armor. 

Sendak wasn’t in armor, and it was so incredibly easy to climb into his lap and tear his shirt to shreds; it was satisfying in the most visceral way.

“You really were magnificent out there today,” Sendak told him. “Prov might not have been much of a challenge, but if there is a next time, I know you will handle it with as much grace and power as you did today.”

“There will be,” Lotor said. “And you will be there, to watch me, to take my place if I falter.”

“Always.” 

Lotor kissed him again, a reward for his loyalty, and stood to finish undressing. “Lay down for me?” 

Sendak removed his boots and pants first, and then obeyed, eyes riveted on Lotor’s motions; he liked watching Lotor do anything, especially this, and Lotor liked him watching. 

Lotor climbed between Sendak’s thighs and leaned down to kiss him again, as if he could never get enough, and maybe he couldn’t. “Tell me,” Lotor murmured, “if I hurt you, or if-“

“You won’t,” Sendak said. “But I would, if you did.” 

“Good.” Lotor stroked Sendak’s ears for a moment, the way he liked, the way that almost always got an uncontrolled purr out of him. 

He reached over to the bedside table for the lubricant and sat back in order to slick himself up. “Are you ready?”

Sendak nodded, his eyes half-closed.

Lotor pushed in slowly, watching every shift of Sendak’s expression, looking for the first sign of pain or discomfort. It never came, and before he knew it, he had bottomed out. 

He released the breath he’d been holding, trying to hold still, as Sendak (almost) always did, and let him adjust. 

“You can- you can move, whenever you’re ready,” Sendak said finally. 

Lotor braced himself with a hand splayed firmly across Sendak’s chest and began to move.

It was almost too much at first: too hot, too tight, too slick, but Lotor found a rhythm that worked for him and Sendak both. 

Sendak’s claws ruined yet another set of sheets, but honestly, Lotor didn’t care about that, not when he got to watch Sendak come apart under him. 

There was something terribly erotic about having  _ Sendak _ , of all people, underneath him, submitting to this so easily. 

“Harder,” Sendak panted, and Lotor obliged. 

His claws raked shallow paths down Sendak’s chest, but he didn’t seem to mind, if his writhing and groaning was any indication. 

He tangled a hand in Lotor’s hair and pulled him down for a kiss; the angle was a little awkward, but that hardly mattered, not when he got to swallow Sendak’s moans and sighs. 

“Lotor,  _ please… _ I just need…” 

Lotor nuzzled his cheek and reached a hand down between them, to Sendak’s cock. (Sometimes, Lotor was privately unsure how he managed to fit all of it in him, when he could barely get his hand all the way around.)

He stroked in time to his thrusts, making sure his thumb caught on each ridge; it didn’t take very long after that for Sendak to come.

When he did, every muscle in his body seized up, and it was...exquisite. He was so much tighter now, and that combined with the thrill of having made Sendak come sent Lotor over the edge, too. 

He collapsed on Sendak’s chest, because he knew that Sendak could manage his weight. ”Thank you,” he panted. “That was...really good.”

Sendak hummed and rolled them over onto their sides. “You did all the work, my love.”

Lotor kissed him, soft and sweet, now that the strange bloodlust was out of his system. Perhaps it was merely the high of victory, a flood of neurochemicals and hormones to reward him for some act his primal brain found worthy of commendation. Ultimately, it didn’t matter. “I love you.”

Sendak purred at that; he was always so pleased when Lotor said it, and that alone made Lotor less afraid to say it. 

They didn’t talk for a while. They didn’t need to, really, and it was enough to simply curl up against Sendak’s chest, warm and comfortable and safe.

And loved. Always that. 

“As nice as that was,” Lotor said eventually, “I’m not sure I want to do it like that all the time.”

“No?”

“I would miss your cock,” Lotor replied, with a teasing caress to the organ in question. “Besides, I rather like making you do all the work.”

“Whatever pleases you, my prince,” Sendak teased right back.

“You do. Always,” Lotor said, suddenly serious and fond all at once.

Sendak nuzzled the top of his head and held him just a little bit tighter.  


	25. Bait And Switch

Sendak liked watching Lotor draw. He was always a little more relaxed when he drew, and he genuinely seemed to enjoy drawing.

It was especially nice when, like now, Lotor chose to curl up in Sendak’s lap to draw, because Sendak got to watch him over his shoulder.

Today, he was working on some sort of technical diagram -an engine, perhaps? -stopping occasionally to scrawl little notes in the margins. They were utterly unreadable, and Sendak hoped Lotor could at least guess at what they said later. 

Sendak didn’t have anything else to do, just hold Lotor and keep him warm -the thermostat seemed to be ‘malfunctioning’ -and it was so incredibly nice that he could nearly forget about their predicament.

He kissed the tip of Lotor’s ear and watched it flick back and forth a few times. Gods, he was adorable. 

He pressed his nose under Lotor’s jaw, inhaling deeply. He’d been wrong before when he’d thought that Lotor had no scent of his own. He did, but it was very faint, impossible to smell unless you were right at the source. 

Mostly he smelled like soap, honestly, but underneath that there was something that Sendak didn’t have the words to describe, something unique to Lotor alone. 

He would never get enough of it.  

“That tickles,” Lotor murmured, not looking up from his drawing tablet.

“Sorry.” He rubbed his cheek against the side of Lotor’s neck in apology. “Just thinking about how much I love you.”

Lotor stilled completely. He was still startled, sometimes, when Sendak mentioned it, like he still couldn’t believe it. “Oh?”

“Mm.” He kissed Lotor’s ear again. “And thinking about how far we’ve come.”

“Ah.” He relaxed again and set his tablet aside. “It doesn’t feel like it’s been ten years, does it?”

“I don’t remember what things were like before you, as if you’ve been a part of me my whole life, and I- I can’t imagine a life without you.”

“Do you believe in fate?” Lotor asked softly. “I didn’t, before, but I think…” He laughed, just a little. “It’s sounds silly when I say it out loud.”

“It’s not. I understand. I feel the same way.” 

Lotor purred. “I love this, and I love you. I love how kind and gentle you are to me, I love how you hold me, I love how you look at me like I’m the most precious thing in the universe…”

“You are,” Sendak said. “And I’m just treating you with common decency.”

“Common decency isn’t so common, is it?” 

“Lotor, I wish you didn’t have to wait so long to know what it’s like to be loved. I wish I didn’t have to teach you that.”

“I’m glad it was you,” Lotor said. Sendak could tell he was smiling, if a little sadly. “Some things are worth waiting for.”

Sendak pulled him a little closer. He didn’t know what to say to that, but he knew Lotor meant it, knew it was hard for Lotor to say, and he knew that he loved Lotor with every fiber of his being, and always would. 

“I will not let anything happen to you,” Lotor said firmly. “Not as long as I draw breath.”

“I know,” Sendak said. “I love you.” 

The door slid open suddenly, and Lotor tensed. Sendak kissed the top of his head and turned to look at the door.

An officer and several sentries. “Please come with us. You are wanted immediately.”

Lotor stood and straightened his uniform, then took a step forward. 

A sentry stopped him with a sharp gesture of its blaster. Sendak jumped to his feet.

“Commander Sendak only, please,” the officer said. 

Sendak could practically hear Lotor’s teeth grinding together. “Very well. Return him unharmed,” Lotor said finally, the implicit threat very clear. 

Sendak smoothed the lines of his own uniform and stepped forward. “This won’t take long, will it?”

The officer seemed amused. “That depends on the Emperor’s will. So eager to return to your-“

“If I were you,” Sendak said very calmly, “I would not finish that sentence.”

The officer’s ears twitched. “Come along, then.”

Sendak was not, by nature, an anxious person, but his palms were still damp by the time he reached the throne room.

He really would have liked it if Lotor was here, but maybe it was for the best that he wasn’t; he wouldn’t have to endure whatever was coming. 

“Commander Sendak,” Zarkon began, “I have considered your request.”

It wasn’t a  _ request _ . Sendak was going to marry Lotor whether or not Zarkon approved. He wasn’t asking  _ Zarkon _ ; the only person whose opinion mattered here was Lotor’s. 

And Zarkon needed to die; Sendak had never so looked forward to violence before. 

But not yet. 

“You’ve already declared your intention to marry my son in front of everyone. I might have ignored your indiscretions, so you would not besmirch your family’s legacy, but… You have brought shame upon your own family, and upon this throne, this empire. Upon me. Did you honestly think I would allow you to do that?”

“No, Si-“

“I did not ask you to speak. You have dishonored me, as if my will means  _ nothing _ to you, when I am  _ your Emperor _ . Does my son’s temporary infatuation with you mean so much?”

“With all due respect, Sire,” Sendak said, meaning  _ none _ , “I feel very strongly about this matter, and I have, regrettably against your will, pledged myself in the defense of his honor, and will therefore tolerate no assaults on it.”

“Honor?” Zarkon scoffed. “He knows nothing of honor or duty or obedience. He is weak, and he will make you weak, too, which would be a shame. He is already  _ my _ greatest disappointment; do not-“

“Do not speak to me of honor,” Sendak snarled. “Where is the honor in conquering planets completely unable to mount an effective defense? Where is the honor in forcing parents away from their children, so they can work themselves to death? Where is the honor in-?”

“That’s enough!” 

“No, it never will be! You are a tyrant and a monster! It’s time someone told you that, and if Lotor won’t, then I will. You used the destruction of Daibazaal for your own-“

“Guards, take him to the brig. If he resists, kill him,” Zarkon said coldly, rising from his seat. 

This was not how Sendak wanted to die, and really… he should not have let his temper win. 

He didn’t resist. If he died here and now, he wouldn’t be able to hold Lotor again. Tell him that he loved him once more.

Tell him sorry. 

He allowed the guards to cuff his wrists -too tightly, but he didn’t complain -and let them lead him way, but his mind was racing frantically. He would find a way out of this, or he would make one. 

He’d promised Lotor he wasn’t going to die. 


	26. The Uneasiest Alliance

Lotor paced restlessly. It was getting late, and even if Sendak had, for instance, been given a new posting, he shouldn’t have been gone this long. Even if he’d been required to attend a strategy meeting, that would have taken two, maybe three, hours, tops. 

The door chime sounded, and Lotor rushed to open the door. He was being silly; Sendak was fine. Maybe he had-

It wasn’t Sendak.

“High Priestess,” Lotor said.

“Prince Lotor. I require a moment of your time.”

He didn’t like having her in his personal space, but he didn’t really have a choice. “Please,” he said drily, holding the door open. 

“There was an incident today,” the witch began, once the door was shut behind her. 

Lotor’s heart stopped. “Incident?”

“Commander Sendak has been arrested for treason, slander, and gross disrespect. His sentence will be carried out in the arena.”

“No! No, there must have been a mistake, or…” Sendak could hold his tongue, when he needed to. “Treason?”

“I see that no one else has informed you.”

“No, why would they?” Lotor took a deep breath. He’d figure this out; he’d sworn as much to Sendak. “How many matches will he be expected to win before his sentence is over?”

“That remains unclear. The Emperor was rather...volatile. It may be some time before a set number is given.”

Lotor nodded. “Why are you telling me this?”

“In the old traditions of Daibazaal, you would already be married,” the witch said. “And you would have married already, if you could, and therefore you ought to be informed.”

“But why are  _ you _ telling me this?” Lotor asked, wary of her plots. “Don’t tell me it’s misplaced romantic sentiment. I doubt you  _ can _ love.”

“I loved once,” the witch said, softly. “It ended poorly.” Then she blinked, as if she was startled by her own words. “But more importantly, you will require my help.”

“And I assume you want something from me, in return?” Lotor asked, completely unsurprised. She never did anything for nothing. 

“What did you find in that research facility?”

“I think you already know.”

“So you know that you are half-Altean.”

Lotor grimaced. “Yes.” 

“Submit yourself to my laboratory for a few tests, and we will have an arrangement.”

“Does your thirst for knowledge completely outweigh whatever misplaced sense of loyalty you have for my father?”

She didn’t hesitate. “Yes.” 

“What will you do for me?” 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Prince Lotor.” She left without saying anything else.

Lotor ground his teeth together. What sort of tests did she mean to run? Was it worth it?

Yes. It was for Sendak. Lotor would do anything for him, even this. 

Did he trust the witch? No. But he didn’t have a choice. He couldn’t arrange Sendak’s escape on his own, and Zarkon certainly wouldn’t listen if he tried to plead on Sendak’s behalf. 

No, it was this, or watch Sendak try to fight through however many matches his sentence was to earn his freedom. Even the best gladiators faltered sometimes, and they would not let Sendak recover long if he was injured during a match. He’d become progressively less able to fight, and eventually, he’d fail. Not in the beginning. Not for the first ten, fifteen, twenty matches, but eventually, if the sentence was high enough…

And it surely would be. If Zarkon wanted Sendak dead, he could have just killed him, had him executed in the throne room and be done with it.

No, he wanted Lotor to watch Sendak be slowly defeated, over the course of dozens of matches. He wanted Lotor so demoralized that he could do nothing when it was over, just silently mourn and obediently bow his head and bend his knee.

It wasn’t going to happen. Even if Lotor couldn’t find a way out of this, even if Sendak died… Lotor would avenge him, no matter what it took. 

Zarkon would die for this. 

* * *

After a sleepless night, Lotor reported to the witch’s lab first thing. He’d rather be anywhere else, but he was out of options. 

“What are you researching now?” Lotor asked, because he was still curious about everything, even if he was potentially going to have to witness the man he loved die for charges that were surely blown out of proportion. 

“The effect of quintessence on biological matter,” the witch replied. “You are a unique...specimen.”

Her word choice bothered Lotor. 

As it turned out, all she really wanted ( _ for now _ ) was some blood, a cheek swab, and a full-body scan, all quick and relatively painless procedures. 

“And in return?” Lotor asked, when she was done.

“For now, all I can do is allow you admittance to the brig,” she replied distractedly, already absorbed in looking at the scans. 

For now… It was enough. 

* * *

The brig was cold and damp. An ideal breeding ground for whatever infectious things grew in untreated wounds. 

Lotor tried not to think about that right now. It wasn’t helpful. He might be able to get Sendak out before he got injured, and then it wouldn’t be a problem.

The brig was dark, too, but that didn’t bother Lotor. 

The cells weren’t empty, but at least Sendak had his own cell, slightly removed from the other prisoners. Even the mere illusion of privacy was better than nothing.

Sendak was on his feet when the door to his cell opened, already posturing for whatever he thought was coming.

He obviously hadn't expected Lotor. 

He opened his mouth to speak, but Lotor just shook his head slightly and glanced pointedly at the guard.

“You have five minutes,” the guard said, and then he left and closed -and locked -the door behind Lotor. 

“He’s still outside,” Lotor said quietly, before Sendak could say anything. 

“What are you doing here?”

Lotor grimaced. “I had to see you. What were you thinking, getting yourself thrown in here?”

“It’s not like I wanted this to happen,” Sendak replied crossly. “I just- He-“

“My father does inspire the worst in people,” Lotor said with a sigh. “I’m not angry, not with you. Just...afraid. I’m working on something, but I don’t know if it will work.”

“Of course it will.”

Lotor smiled. “I will do my best.” He didn’t want to tell Sendak about his deal with the witch, not right now. Not when they had such little time left.

“I’m sorry about this.”

“I know. I will figure this out, one way or another.”

“I know.” Sendak cupped Lotor’s face in his hands. “I love you.” 

Lotor turned his head to nuzzle Sendak’s palms. “I love you, too.”


	27. Better Things

~~~~**Three years ago, the moon of Eilea:**

The blizzard raged outside the cave. It had come on suddenly, too quickly for them to get back to the ship.

“There’s no way we’ll get back to the ship, in these conditions,” Lotor said. “We’d only get lost.”

“The locals in the lowlands said that such storms usually only last a few days,” Sendak said. 

Lotor didn’t seem too bothered by that, and Sendak wasn’t either. They had enough food for two weeks, plenty of fuel for the fire, and they could melt snow to drink. Not ideal, exactly, but certainly survivable.

“So we’ll have to stay put until it blows over,” Lotor said finally, holding his hands out to the fire in front of him. 

He’d been shivering earlier, until Sendak had gotten the fire started, but he was obviously still cold. 

The cave was small enough that the fire would warm the air before too long. Still…

“Come on, let’s get you out of those wet clothes,” Sendak said.

“You’re just trying to see me undressed,” Lotor accused teasingly. Still, his fingers went to the catches on his clothing, but his fingers appeared to be too stiff with the cold to actually work.

Sendak knelt down next to him and carefully undressed him, laying his damp clothes on the far side of the fire to dry, until he was completely nude, and then ushered him under the covers. 

He’d arranged both sets of bedding into a sort of nest facing the fire. That was the arrangement they used most of the time, if they weren’t sleeping on the ship, but now it also made it easier to share body heat, in order to stay warm.

“That is better,” Lotor admitted, completely nestled under a thick pile of blankets. 

Sendak kissed the top of his head. “I do know what I’m talking about some of the time.” He stripped himself much quicker, and then crawled in behind Lotor, so that Lotor was closest to the fire. 

“I suppose we’ll have to do something if we’re stuck here for the next several days,” Lotor remarked, even as he pressed himself as close to Sendak as he could get. “How shall we ever pass the time?”

“I’m sure you’ll think of something,” Sendak said. Lotor was mostly warm again, but his nose was unpleasantly cold against Sendak’s neck. Still, he didn’t really mind. 

“I could think of far worse places to be,” Lotor said softly, “than here, with you.”

It was nice, with the fire going and the wind whipping away any other intruding sound, with nothing better to do than hold Lotor. There was nowhere he’d rather be.

* * *

Sendak woke, almost too warm, with Lotor still pressed against him, purring softly in his sleep. 

It was one of those things Sendak never got used to, and he was starting to think he never would. Seven years in, and it shouldn’t make his heart skip beats like this, just watching Lotor sleep and knowing that he felt safe. 

Lotor had rolled over at some point, so now his back was to Sendak’s chest. It gave Sendak the perfect opportunity to nuzzle the back of his neck -Sendak would, if asked, have a hard time naming his favorite part of Lotor, but his neck was definitely up there -which only made Lotor purr louder. 

“Mm...good morning to you, too,” Lotor murmured, half-awake now. “Sleep well?”

“Yes,” Sendak said, kissing Lotor’s ear. ”You?”

“I had a very pleasant dream,” Lotor said. 

“Oh?”

“Mm…” Lotor was in just the right position to push his ass up against Sendak’s cock, which of course he did. “You were there.”

“And what was I doing?” Sendak asked, deciding to play along with Lotor’s little game. For now, at least. 

“I think you know,” Lotor said, pulling Sendak’s hand down to his cock, which was already half-hard. 

“Tell me anyway,” Sendak said. “I wouldn’t want to misinterpret your expectations, your highness.” 

Lotor ground his ass against Sendak’s cock again, which was now rapidly hardening. “You were fucking me, just like this.”

“I shall endeavor to fulfill your every dream, my prince.”

“You wouldn’t want to incur my wrath, would you?” Lotor said with a laugh.

The laugh turned into a soft, pleased moan when Sendak entered him.

“You always fill me up so well,” Lotor said, a little breathlessly. “Makes me feel complete. Makes me-  _ oh… _ ” 

Sendak stroked his cock slowly, into time to his thrusts, letting the pleasure build leisurely. They had all the time in the universe right now, with the wind still howling outside and nothing better to do, and it wasn’t always like this. Lotor was impatient usually, once things got started, but today he simply leaned back against Sendak’s chest and enjoyed. 

When they finally did come, it felt like something inevitable. The inexorable pull of a black hole, as opposed to the unexpected suddenness of a star going supernova. 

It was good, that final surrender. 

“How did that compare to your dream?” Sendak asked after a few quiet, companionable minutes. 

“It was better,” Lotor said, turning over and cupping Sendak’s jaw in his hands, “because it was real.” He pressed his lips to Sendak’s before Sendak could reply, but that was alright; Sendak just poured his heart out into the kiss, trusting that Lotor would understand.

* * *

 

**Present** : 

Now… Now all he had were these memories, bright and yet far away. Things as they could -should -have been. 

That last “I love you” had felt like goodbye.

It might be. Sendak had lost track of how many matches he’d fought, but it didn’t matter. Zarkon still refused to set a number, and that probably meant, by this point, that Sendak would fight until he died.

It might be soon. It might not be in the arena. 

He only had the use of one eye now. The other was injured and infected, robbing him of his sight and depth perception. The fever that accompanied the infection raged, leaving him aching and sore and disoriented and bone-weary. 

He didn’t dare fall asleep. If he did, he might never wake up, and then he would never see Lotor again, and he so desperately wanted to. Needed to. 

He needed to apologize. Beg forgiveness. Tell Lotor that he loved him one last time. 

Visitors weren’t allowed down here in the brig. How Lotor had gotten down here the first time was a mystery -it hadn’t been worth getting an explanation out of Lotor, during his sole visit, not with such little time afforded to them -but Sendak knew it was a one time thing. 

He’d caught glimpses of Lotor from the arena, during his matches, but lately he’d been far too focused on simply staying alive to look. It took all his concentration now, fighting external foes and the infection that he battled within. 

How long could he keep this up?

Lotor had a plan.

He had to remind himself of that. Lotor had a plan, and he was doing everything he could. 

Lotor had a plan, and he just had to hang on a little longer. 

He closed his eyes -eye; the infected one was swollen shut anyway -and allowed himself to think of happier, simpler times. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...There’s probably going to be a short hiatus on this, since this is the last chapter I have written so far, and I’m doing kinktober this year, so I’ll have to focus on that. But I will finish this


	28. Don’t Do Drugs, Kids

Lotor didn’t trust the witch, but he didn’t have a choice. “Will it work?”

She shrugged. “Perhaps. It hasn’t exactly been through testing. But it’s all I have; don’t waste it.”

Right. Of course. Taking experimental...whatever-this-was without a guarantee of its efficacy or side-effects was not the best idea, but her concern was that he shouldn’t waste it? 

He wasn’t entirely sure he would take it, but this was all she’d offered. He had nothing else, and he was running out of time. 

“Thank you,” he said, tucking the small, glowing vial into his pocket. 

* * *

This was part of his punishment, he knew.

Once he would have jumped at the opportunity to spend this much time with his father, back when he was young and naive. 

Now… Now that he sat next to Zarkon in the Imperial Box, watching Sendak fight and fight and fight.

It was so hard, just sitting here, his hands clenched into fists, trying not to react at every blow that Sendak took, each strike that could be his last, each cry of pain…

“I will take his place,” Lotor said quietly. 

“I forbid you,” Zarkon replied.

They didn’t look at each other, just watched the match happening in front of them, Zarkon with cruel glee and Lotor with dread. 

“This is cruel.”

“Good.” 

“You have no quarrel with him. Take it out on me. Just...let him go.”

“You are too soft. Too weak. Maybe you will learn this time.”

“I won’t become what you want me to be. I am your son; why isn’t that enough for you?” 

“Because you are my son!” Zarkon stood, shouting.

Lotor shrank back. He’d gone too far. Gods, he was so stupid; he shouldn’t have- He braced himself. 

“Emperor Zarkon!”

Sendak had won the latest match, and now his voice rang out across the arena; the stands fell quiet. 

Lotor’s breath caught.  _ No _ ! Nonononono, he couldn’t-

“I claim the right to challenge you in combat. You are unfit to rule. A monster, a tyrant, and unless you come and face me, a coward.”

Sendak couldn’t possibly expect to win this challenge. He only had one good eye. He was fighting off a raging infection. They didn’t give him enough to eat in the brig. He was fatigued and thin and bloody.

Zarkon was in perfect health. Maybe more than perfect. 

And yet… Lotor was frozen. He couldn’t  _ do _ anything. He was going to watch his father kill the man he loved, and there was nothing he could do.

“I accept your challenge.” Zarkon vaulted over the wall of the Box, ostentatious in his show of power. 

The challenge commenced. Sendak seemed to know that he was physically weaker than Zarkon, that he couldn’t meet his attacks head-on, but he could only stall for so long. He couldn’t keep going forever, and Zarkon could outlast him, easily, in this state. 

The glowing vial was still in his pocket, but could he-? 

Did he have a choice?

Sendak was too slow. The infection, blood loss, hunger, fatigue all impaired his reflexes, and he simply couldn’t get out of the way fast enough.

Zarkon’s sword took Sendak’s arm off, blood spraying everywhere. 

Lotor’s heart was in his throat, and he put a hand over his mouth, trying to keep himself under control.

The glowing vial was still-

Sendak fell, unconscious and  _ dying _ , and it was- It was unimaginably horrible, terrifying…

He couldn’t just-

He drained the vial in a single swallow, then stood. “My sword,” he demanded from the guards standing at attention outside the Box. 

They didn’t protest, just handed his sword over wordlessly. Good; he wasn’t in the mood to argue.  

“I challenge you, Zarkon!” Lotor yelled, already leaping into the arena.

His blood burned, and everything was sharper, brighter, more alive. He had never felt this good in his life, despite the anger and hurt and fear. Pure energy coursed through his veins. 

Zarkon barely had time to turn, to parry, and then it began in earnest. 

“I am going to make you regret ever being born,” Zarkon hissed.

Lotor laughed, without humor. “Joke’s on you, Old Man; I already do.” 

It was all a technicolor blur; the only thing that mattered was finishing this as quickly as possible. Finishing this  _ in time _ . 

None of this would matter if Sendak died. It wouldn’t all be for nothing, but Lotor knew he wouldn’t care, knew the grief would destroy him. Perhaps he’d be no better than-

It ended silently, abruptly, Zarkon lying on the ground, rasping out his last breaths, as powerless as he’d ever been, blood pooling around him, staining everything he touched.

Lotor limped across the arena, barely upright, but it wasn’t done yet. “Get a medic,” he ordered one of the guards.

Too softly, too timidly. He tried again, louder, more forceful. “A medic,  _ now _ !” 

The guards scrambled to do as he said, with an alacrity they’d never shown him before.

Oh gods,  _ he was dead, he was dead, it was over, he could never- _

Of course the guards obeyed him effortlessly now; they had just witnessed him kill-

He fell to his knees at Sendak’s side, all his strength vanishing at once.

Sendak’s breaths were shallow, but at least he was breathing. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, this shouldn’t have happened, don’t leave me  _ please… _ ” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is minimal angst after this point, only fluff, smut, and love. Speaking of, what sort of Soft Space Hisband Antics would y’all like to see? Comment below or message me on tumblr @devilsofficialfanfic  
> :)


	29. Too Stubborn To Die

Regaining awareness was a battle in its own right, an uphill struggle.

Ultimately, despite the pain still wracking his body, it was worth it.

Lotor was fast asleep in a chair, hunched over in a way that suggested he was too exhausted to care about comfort.

Sendak himself was in a bed. He recognized the sterile gray of the medical wards. He didn’t remember how he’d gotten here. The last thing he did remember was...losing, his arm and-

He looked, because he needed to know.

His left arm was gone, below the shoulder, and some sort of anchor was attached to the stump, for the prosthetic he’d get when he was healed enough. 

But he was alive. 

He relaxed back into the bed. Not very comfortable, but he was still tired; he probably should get some more rest anyway…

Lotor roused himself, blearily opening his eyes and blinking a few times, looking around, as if he’d forgotten where he was.

And then his gaze settled on Sendak, and he  _ smiled _ , tired and yet  _ overjoyed.  _ Tears welled up in his eyes, and Sendak reached out to comfort him-

“No, stay still, darling,” he said. He stood, wiped his eyes, and then he stretched out on the bed, draping himself over Sendak. 

The bed was not really big enough for both of them, but neither of them cared, and Lotor seemed intent on having as little space between them as possible anyway. 

“What happened?” Sendak asked, his voice rough and hoarse from disuse. 

“It’s over,” Lotor said. “It’s over. My father is dead.” He sounded almost… mournful about that, but surely that wasn’t right. He continued more briskly. “Since then, the Kral Zera has been undertaken, and now I am the Emperor.”

“I should have been there,” Sendak said.

“You were in a coma, darling,” Lotor said, kissing the tip of Sendak’s nose. “They told me they weren’t sure if you would ever wake, but I knew you would. You’re too stubborn to die from a simple infection.” 

Sendak…would never get enough of Lotor calling him ‘darling’. He wrapped his one remaining arm around Lotor, pulling him as close as physically possible. “And the High Priestess?”

Lotor grimaced. “She’s...gone. For now. Her and all her Druids. I made a deal with her, and-“ He shook his head. “It’s not important right now.” He cupped Sendak’s face in his hands, then pressed their foreheads together. “I was so scared that I was going to lose you, but you’re still here. You’re here.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Sendak promised. “Not now, not ever.” 

“I forbid you from dying,” Lotor said, half-teasing, half-serious, “as your Emperor.”

“As you command, Sire,” Sendak replied drily. “Your father is dead.”

Lotor took a moment to answer. “Yes.”

“Marry me,” Sendak breathed, more plea than question. 

“Yes, of course I will,” Lotor said, smiling softly. He kissed Sendak, slow and almost chaste. “I said I would.”

Sendak purred, unable to help himself, and it soothed the deep muscle ache, made him sleepy.

“Rest, darling,” Lotor said. “Regain your strength.”

“Stay,” Sendak said. 

“Alright,” Lotor said, nestling closer. 

* * *

It was… an  _ adjustment _ , getting used to his new eye and arm. They worked just like his original ones, if not better, but there was something vaguely...off about them.

Perhaps it was only that his mind remembered the pain of having his arm severed, and knew that nothing should be there now. That his eye had been, as Lotor put it, “one massive colony of bacteria masquerading as an eye.” 

Still, he got used to it, even if the prosthetic made his shoulder ache sometimes. Even if the cybernetic eye gave him headaches.

He never voiced those complaints, but Lotor always seemed to know, sending him off to bed early with a gentle kiss and an affectionate tug of one ear. 

They didn’t have much time together, between Lotor’s new duties and the wedding planning. Sendak would have been happy with a simple, private ceremony, but he knew that was likely impossible, since Lotor now sat on the throne. 

It was alright with Sendak; he’d never seen Lotor so energized, so happy and productive, so it was worth it. 

* * *

He roused when the door to their quarters opened. Lotor, of course, his eyes glowing softly in the dim light.

It was late, and Lotor should have been in bed hours ago. But at least he was here now, to get in a few hours of sleep. 

He crawled into bed next to Sendak. “I didn’t mean to wake you, darling.”

“It’s fine,” Sendak said, pulling Lotor closer. It was ridiculous to miss Lotor when they’d only been apart for a few hours, and yet he did. He nuzzled the top of Lotor’s head trying, somehow, to get more of him. 

“Feeling better?” Lotor asked.

“Much better, now that you’re here, my love.”

Lotor purred happily, if sleepily, and Sendak closed his eye again, drifting off to the comforting sound of Lotor’s contentment.


	30. To The Future

Lotor would have been fine with the small ceremony Sendak had wanted, honestly, but he also understood the need for showmanship, this public display of Sendak’s allegiance and devotion to him, only him, him above all else. 

Sendak did, too, and when he was recovered enough for the formal ceremony, they were married. 

The ceremony was simple, as Galra ceremonies often were. They were decked out in the traditional red and gold, they spoke their vows to each other, Sendak spoke his vows as the official Imperial Consort, and it was done. 

Lotor had to stand on his toes in order to place the circlet on Sendak’s head, and once he might have felt embarrassed by that, except that he was married now, married to Sendak, bound to him forever.

Perhaps there would be other loves, later, but Sendak was his first, and would always, always hold a special place in his heart, regardless of what happened next.

For the first time, Lotor looked forward to the future.

He told Sendak as much, at the feast afterward. They were, of course, sitting next to each other, as close as was decent.

Sendak squeezed his hand, a gentle pressure that always reminded Lotor that he wasn’t alone. “And I will be there with you.”

Lotor pulled Sendak’s hand -his organic one, not the prosthetic -to his lips, brushing a soft kiss over his knuckles. “My Prince.”

“My Emperor,” Sendak returned, and even his prosthetic eye glinted with humor, somehow. “My Lord Husband.”

Lotor flushed, and even the tips of his ears felt hot. 

Sendak did a very poor job of concealing his smirk (to Lotor’s eyes; no one else would have been able to discern a change in his expression). 

Lotor hurriedly changed the subject, before he did something inappropriate. Just because he was married to Sendak, did not mean he could climb into his lap and demand sex, right here and now, in front of all the wedding guests. “To the future,” he said, raising his glass.

“To the future,” Sendak repeated. 

Perhaps the toast was repeated by the guests, but Lotor only had eyes for Sendak; everything else could wait. 

* * *

It was tradition for the newly-weds to slip out of the festivities early, and some traditions ought to be observed.

Anyway, they barely got into their new quarters before Sendak could no longer keep his hands off Lotor. Not that Lotor minded; he never did. 

He pressed Lotor back against the door, caging him in and stealing his breath away with demanding kisses.

Lotor gave in. It had never been easier. 

“I love you,” Lotor said breathlessly. “I love you so much.”

Sendak purred. His mouth was too busy marking up Lotor’s neck to reply with words, but Lotor didn’t mind. He carded his fingers through Sendak’s crest. 

No one could ever come between them now. Galra married for life, except in the rarest of circumstances, and such a bond was sacred. Unbreakable. Sendak was his, and he was Sendak’s, and that was the way it was meant to be. The way it would always be. 

Sendak kissed him again, less desperately than before, finally getting his hands under Lotor’s thighs and hoisting him up.

Lotor wrapped his legs around Sendak’s waist and his arms around Sendak’s neck, unable to stop a pleased purr of his own. 

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this happy. Maybe he’d never been quite this happy. 

Sendak carried him to the bedroom and set him on the bed, oh-so-gently, like he was a precious thing.

It had been a long time since they’d had sex. First, because Sendak had been in the brig, and then because he’d been recovering from his very serious injuries.

He he was free now, healthy now, and they were married; there was no reason to put this off, and yet Lotor felt a touch of nerves bubbling up.

He wiped his hands off on his pants surreptitiously. This was hardly his first time. In fact, he’d been less nervous then, and over the years, how many thousands of times must he have slept with Sendak? There was nothing new here (nothing except their marriage), and he loved Sendak. He knew and trusted Sendak. 

So why? 

Sendak knelt in front of him, between his knees. “Are you alright, my love?”

Lotor smiled. “Yes, of course. It’s just- It’s been so long, and things have...changed.”

“For the better, I hope.”

“Yes. For the better. 

“Is it the arm?” Sendak asked, shifting almost self-consciously. 

“No, of course not, darling. I think it makes you look distinguished.” Lotor leaned down a little to press a kiss to Sendak’s forehead. “It’s nothing you’ve done at all, my darling Sendak. Just...nerves, I suppose.”

“Let me take care of you, my love,” Sendak murmured, rising slightly to kiss Lotor again.

“I know you will,” Lotor replied, fingers straying to the catches on Sendak’s formal wear. He sighed when Sendak stood and pulled away, already missing him, but he still watched him undress, setting aside the garments to be cleaned. Meticulous as always, of course, and perfectly aware of Lotor’s eyes on him.

Then Sendak was back, helping Lotor out of his own clothes, far more gently than he’d removed his own, kissing each strip of skin as it was exposed. 

It was so nice, so intimate, that Lotor’s nervousness started to melt away. He loved the way Sendak cared for him, and always had. This was something he could count on.

Sendak guided him onto his back, with Sendak towering over him, as if to emphasize just how big Sendak was compared to him. 

“You’re beautiful,” Sendak murmured, leaning down to press a kiss just below Lotor’s navel. “And you’re all mine.”

“Yes,” Lotor agreed breathlessly. 

Sendak took his time, almost worshipping him, prompting soft, contented sighs out of Lotor. He loved it. Loved that they didn’t have to rush. Loved that he was allowed to have this.

Sendak bit at his collar bones, renewing the tiny, faded scars there, bright bursts of sweet pain.

“Sendak,” Lotor whined finally, when it seemed like Sendak had kissed and licked and bit at every square inch of his skin. A different feeling built low in his belly, and he knew that Sendak knew it, too. 

“Alright, my love,” Sendak said, with one final nip to Lotor’s ear. He lifted Lotor’s hips up and slid a pillow underneath (it was unnecessary, because Lotor had enough core strength to hold himself up, but it was nice and set the tone for a softer, gentler experience) before coaxing his legs apart.

Lotor’s breath caught as Sendak entered him. It really had been a while, and Lotor had almost forgotten just how big he was, how perfectly he filled him up. He wrapped his legs around Sendak’s waist, urging him on, but Sendak continued at this slow, tender pace.

“We’re going to remember this night for the rest of our lives,” Sendak said. “Let me make it good for you.”

“You always do,” Lotor said. It was true: they were incredibly compatible, and every time was just as enjoyable as the last, like they were made for each other. He cupped the back of Sendak’s neck, pulling him down for a kiss, tangling his fingers in the thick fur at the nape of his neck. 

Sendak made it good this time, too, drawing the pleasure out for what seemed like  _ hours _ , until Lotor was trembling and strung out and unable to think of anything but this.

He came without a single touch to his cock, crying out wordlessly, pulling Sendak closer until he came too. 

Sendak didn’t let him go immediately, rolling them onto their sides, facing each other, but still so close that there was no space between them.

Lotor wouldn’t have it any other way. 

He was still shaking when Sendak brushed his thumb over his cheek. “My love?”

Lotor hadn’t realized he’d been crying, but he wasn’t surprised. It was all just so...overwhelming. “These are happy tears,” he assured Sendak. “I love you, I love you… I’m so  _ happy _ it was you.”

Sendak pulled him closer, and Lotor clung to him, safe and warm and happy. “I love you, too, Lotor,” Sendak murmured, nuzzling the top of his head. 


	31. Married Life

Sendak woke to Lotor’s soft purr and his fingers running through the fur of his crest. 

The way he wanted to wake every morning for the rest of his life.

And he could, now. 

Because he was married to Lotor, the man he loved and cherished.

He didn’t know what he’d done to deserve this, but he wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

“Good morning,” he murmured sleepily, more than content to let Lotor continue caressing the top of his head and his ears. “Have you been awake long?”

“No,” Lotor said, then kissed the tip of Sendak’s nose. “Not long at all.”

Sendak drew him in for a proper kiss, and Lotor’s purring intensified.

Even during those years in exile, when the Empire seemed like a distant problem, Lotor had never purred this frequently, this easily, and it was such a hard thing to fake that this contentment had to be genuine.

“You’re so happy,” Sendak said. “It’s such a beautiful thing.”

“You...make it easy for me to be happy. We’re going to do great things together, my darling, and today is the first day of something new. Something better. And I think...if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be  _ here _ , now. So, thank you, Sendak, for all that you have done for me.”

“I’d do it all again in a heartbeat, my love.”

“I know,” Lotor said, with that softly fond seriousness. That look he reserved for Sendak alone. Then he climbed on top of Sendak, and the tone of the whole conversation changed. “I missed you while you were recovering, and before.”

“You mean you missed my cock,” Sendak said.

“It’s part of you,” Lotor said. 

“And what if I had lost it somehow, hm? What would you do then?”

“Suffer,” Lotor said melodramatically. “But I would make do, because I love all of you, not just your cock.”

“I love you too,” Sendak said drily. 

“But fortunately, that part of you remains unscathed.” He caught Sendak’s eye. “Let me show you just how much I appreciate it.” 

Sendak was intrigued. 

Lotor moved to kneel between Sendak’s knees, and stroked his cock a few times. It was unnecessary; Sendak was completely hard already.

And then Lotor bent forward, still maintaining eye contact, smirking, taking the tip of Sendak’s cock into his mouth.

If possible, Sendak got harder. 

The  _ idea _ of this alone was… He’d thought about it before, but he’d never asked, and Lotor had never offered, but…

“You don’t-“ His voice was breathy to his own ears, hopelessly flustered and aroused, unable to form a coherent thought.

“I want to,” Lotor murmured seductively (though, honestly, Sendak wasn’t sure there was anything Lotor could do or say that he wouldn’t find incredibly seductive). “Let me please you, my husband.”

_ Fuck _ . Lotor never had been afraid of playing dirty. 

At Sendak’s nod -the best he could do right now; all his blood had vacated his brain -Lotor lowered his head again, licking a wide stripe up the underside of Sendak’s cock, over the ridges.

Sendak clutched at the sheets, hard enough that they tore -someone really should invent tear-proof sheets -trying to hold still and not choke Lotor; he surely would not appreciate that.

Lotor grabbed his wrist -his organic one -and brought his hand to the top of Lotor’s head.

“Do you really want me to-?”

Lotor hummed affirmatively, still licking and sucking, sending shockwaves up and down Sendak’s spine. 

Sendak tentatively tangled his fingers in Lotor’s hair, drawing a low, pleased hum out of him. Sendak pulled, just a little, to see what would happen.

Lotor moaned, his eyes fluttering shut.

_ Oh _ . Sendak would have to remember that. 

“Just when I thought you couldn’t possibly be any more perfect,” Sendak murmured.

Lotor’s ears went back, the way they did when he was flustered and yet pleased, and he swallowed Sendak’s cock up to the first ridge.

Lotor clearly had not done this before, but that was alright -more than alright; no one else had the privilege of seeing Lotor like this -because Lotor knew Sendak, knew all the ways to drive him crazy, and he used that now, systematically forcing Sendak closer and closer to the edge.

“Lotor, I-“

Lotor rubbed his hip, giving tacit permission.

Sendak came, writhing as he tried desperately not to hurt Lotor.

Lotor pinned his hips down -he was stronger than he looked, after all -and worked Sendak through it, until he collapsed back into the bed. 

Lotor crawled on top of him, saliva and come dripping down his chin. In this part of Sendak’s cycle, it was thin, almost watery. It wouldn’t taste like much.

That didn’t matter too much to Sendak; he drew Lotor in for a kiss anyway, faintly tasting himself on Lotor’s tongue, then lapped up the mess on Lotor’s chin.

Lotor finally pulled away. “That tickles,” he accused playfully. 

“That was incredible,” Sendak said. 

Lotor made a pleased sound. “You seemed to enjoy yourself.”

“I did.” He kissed Lotor again. “How can I thank you properly?”

“Hm…” Lotor said, like he was actually thinking about it. “I suppose you could eat me out.”

“It would be my pleasure.” 

* * *

Later (much later), after, among other things, a “quick” shower that ended up being much longer than Sendak had intended, he and Lotor were back in bed.

Lotor was in his lap, like usual, loose-limbed and content, humming to himself as he flipped through various reports and picked morsels off a tray to eat. 

Every now and then, he offered a piece of meat to Sendak, or let him lick various fruit juices off his fingers. Galra were not omnivorous, so he couldn’t really partake in the fruit itself, but the juices were sweet, and in such minute amounts, it wouldn’t affect him. 

Sendak amused himself by nuzzling the back of Lotor’s neck. 

Major changes in relationships could lead to instinctual responses, but this was ridiculous. He couldn’t seem to keep his hands off Lotor, not that Lotor minded. The ventilation in their new quarters was much better than in Lotor’s old quarters, which meant he had to be freezing.

Fortunately, Sendak was there to keep him warm. 

Finally, Lotor set his tablet aside, turning around in Sendak’s lap. “My apologies, darling; the Empire stops for no man.”

Sendak kissed his nose. “You look happy.”

”I...am.”

”As long as you’re happy, my love…”

Lotor smiled. “I am.” He wrapped his arms around Sendak’s neck and held onto him like that for several minutes. “Happier than I ever thought I’d be.”

”That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Lotor was about to say something, but he yawned. “It’s getting late, darling, and I fear you’ve worn me out.”

”I wasn’t sure it was possible,” Sendak teased.

Lotor tugged his ear affectionately. “I love you.”

”I love you, too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s only going to be one more chapter of this, but I don’t have any ideas, so... If y’all have thoughts, please let me know ;)


	32. The Softest Epilogue

“Lotor, I’m going to be completely honest with you,” Sendak began. “I did not understand a single word of what you just said.”

“You mean you’re not an expert in comparative xenobotany?” Lotor teased. “If you needed me to explain something to you, why didn’t you stop me?”

Sendak kissed his cheek, right here, where anyone could see. “When you talk about something that interests you, your eyes light up and you look so...excited. It’s cute.”

“How dare you!” Lotor exclaimed, but he was laughing. 

“It’s true,” Sendak said. “I would never lie to my Emperor.” He pulled Lotor closer and tried to pepper his face with little kisses; Lotor tried ineffectually to push him away. Not that he was trying that hard at all.

“Stop!” Lotor said, still laughing. “We’re going to be late to our meeting with the ambassador.”

Sendak let him off with one final kiss to his cheek. “You’re going to do just fine, my love.”

“Thank you,” Lotor said. 

“You’re just a fierce in the council room as you are on the battlefield,” Sendak said, putting an arm around Lotor’s waist as they continued down the hallway. 

“Mm… Does it turn you on just as much?” Lotor asked, grinning slyly, because he already knew Sendak’s answer (a resounding and emphatic  _ yes _ ). 

“Of course.”

”You’re not going to be paying attention to the meeting, are you?”

“I’ll be paying attention to  _ you _ .” 

Lotor laughed. 

* * *

Lotor bolted upright, gasping for air, clawing at his throat. 

He still had nightmares; he couldn’t expect his father’s death to fix all his problems. 

But he was dead, and he couldn’t hurt Lotor anymore. 

He took a few deep breaths and waited for his heart rate to return to normal. He was alright. He was fine.

It was just a dream. 

“...Mm?” 

Lotor glanced over to Sendak. He was still mostly asleep -Lotor hadn’t screamed himself awake this time -but he reached out for Lotor anyway. 

Lotor’s vision grew a little blurry, and he realized he was on the verge of crying.

It was just… Sendak loved him so much that he was trying to protect Lotor even while he was asleep? Trying to make sure he was alright? 

He thought it a lot, but Lotor really had never expected that he could have something like this. Not in a million years. If his own father couldn’t love him…

But Sendak did, perhaps against all odds, and Lotor would never find the words needed to express just how much it meant to him. 

He tucked himself back into Sendak’s embrace, the place he felt safest, where he was loved and cherished and protected. 

Lotor rubbed his cheek against Sendak’s jaw. “I love you,” he said quietly.

Sendak made a soft, sleepy sound.

It was either really late or really early, depending on how one looked at it.

Lotor closed his eyes and fell back asleep easily, happily, content with the knowledge that no matter happened tomorrow, he’d start the day waking up next to the love of his life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the best ending to a fic, but there’s going to be a sequel so... ;)


End file.
